Latest news with #socialskills
Forbes
3 days ago
- Business
- Forbes
Networking For Introverts: Tips for Finding Quality Over Quantity
Effective networking goes well beyond small talk. getty Despite efforts by the likes of Susan Cain, author of the bestseller 'Quiet', to shed light on what it really means to be an introvert, misconceptions remain. In particular, the idea that introverts are shy and socially challenged has been a tough stereotype to shed. The problem for many introverts like myself is that no matter how good we get at understanding our brain's wiring and how to make it work to our advantage, we can still buy into what conventional wisdom says of what we should like doing or can. It doesn't matter how many enjoyable social experiences I have, the idea of doing them still causes some trepidation. But as I seem to realize repeatedly, attending the party isn't the problem; it's what you do there that determines your experience. Similarly, when people think of networking, images of chatty cocktail hours or awkwardly asking strangers for job leads tend to come to mind. 'Many people see networking as synonymous with asking for referrals. If this is your mental model, it makes sense to think that extroverts have a natural advantage,' Dan Freehling, an executive coach and the founder of Contempus Leadership, told me. To help introverts shed any of their own stereotypes about what it means to network well, I asked career coaches for guidance on networking ideas that get to the heart of both what introverts do well and what it actually means to be a good networker. The first step for introverts who feel like they are at an inherent disadvantage is to understand that networking 'is not about socializing, it's about learning from people who actually know what they're talking about so you can zero in on the right opportunities for you,' Freehling said. Sure, excelling at small talk might make for a smoother initial interaction, but effective networking depends on what happens from there. As Devora Zack, author of 'Networking for People Who Hate Networking,' writes, while 'extroverts collect a bigger stack of cards; introverts connect through deeper conversations.' 'My biggest networking tip for introverts is to change your metaphor. Great networking isn't schmoozing, it's detective work,' Freehling said. Getting comfortable with a new definition of networking is important because 'if you believe you're not good at networking, you're also going to put less effort in,' international career coach Simone Anzböck told me. This idea is rooted in psychologist Carol Dweck's research on fixed versus growth mindsets, as well as a 2020 study that applies this theory directly to networking. The main takeaway here is that good networking is not something you're born with. It can be learned, and some effective approaches may even favor the introverted among us. Much like small talk, introverts aren't the best at elevator pitches, either. But we are good listeners who tend to bring a genuine sense of curiosity to meaningful conversations. This is where Freehling's detective metaphor can make the process a whole lot more appealing for introverts, many of whom thrive in that kind of research-oriented work. A career coach once advised me to wear my journalist hat when networking, because it can and should feel like you're on a fact-finding mission. This shift in perspective can not only take advantage of your strengths, but also address a blind spot that many on the job hunt have. 'The real problem most job seekers face is that they don't know nearly enough about the sectors they're targeting and how to best present the value they bring. Networking is how you solve that,' Freehling said. When approaching a new connection, doing so with clarity, curiosity, and purpose can lay the groundwork for a conversation that's both enjoyable and contributes to your career goals. Keep it simple and have a clear ask, Kelsi Kriitmaa, a social impact career coach, advises. 'Don't just say, 'I'd love to connect,' say why,' Kriitmaa said. 'Are you curious about how they transitioned sectors? Want to understand how they landed their role? Looking for insights on your next move? Say that.' If you fancy yourself a considerate introvert, you probably overthink situations like this, worried that you'll be a bother. But according to Kriitmaa, with this approach, 'clarity isn't pushy, it's respectful of people's time and energy, and people are far more likely to respond to something real and specific than a vague message that feels like a copy and paste.' Whether you're an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between, it's common to avoid thinking about networking until you find yourself looking for work. The problem, of course, is that good networking means building strong relationships, and this takes time. Therefore, part of your perspective shift should include adopting a 'give before you get' mindset, Kriitmaa said, which helps you to 'nurture relationships before you 'need' them, so that when the time comes to ask for support, advice, or intros, you've already built trust. It's called relationship equity, and it compounds over time.' Simple actions one could take on LinkedIn include congratulating someone on a new role or sharing an event they might not have seen. 'This isn't about being transactional, it's about being generous, early and often,' Kriitmaa said. 'Think about how you can connect people to one another, or how you can connect useful information to people,' Anzböck added. 'You should be thinking more about the long-term gain of the relationship.'
BBC News
4 days ago
- Business
- BBC News
York Inspirational Kids charity facing uncertain future due to funding cuts
For Leah Kilvington, her weekly session with York Inspirational Kids' post-16 group is about more than the activities she and her friends take part in."It's about accepting people for who they are," the 25-year-old tells Phillips says attending the sessions puts a smile on her face."I like coming here because they do fun activities and they make you laugh every time," the 19-year-old explains with a broad bosses at the support group for young people with disabilities or additional needs strike a different tone, warning that the charity could cut sessions or activities unless it can attract greater Executive Ruth Thompson says York Inspirational Kids needs to raise an extra £25,000 to keep services going for the 3,000 families it not, it could face a bleak future after 14 years of existence."We're in a situation where there are more and more diagnoses, particularly of autism, so the need is greater," she explains. "We are in a situation where finances have been cut, there isn't enough money going into local authorities to help support, there isn't enough money within charities, so the criteria for funding is getting tighter and tighter and tighter."The charity supports a wide range of young people, from children to young adults, all of whom have a disability and/or special educational post-16 group is focused on developing social skills and independence in a safe environment, with staff on hand to young people play cards, table football and air hockey - and handle the running of their own tuck shop.A recent trip to the Houses of Parliament to see democracy in action was one of the supervised excursions provided by the charity, along with trips to the cinema and tenpin bowling."Instead of roaming down the streets and getting into trouble, I can come here and enjoy myself," says Kai Embleton, 20. "It's the social high point of her week," says Sarah Smith of her daughter Eleanor, 23. "I don't know what we would do without it. It's not just for the kids, it's for the mums and dads as well, so we can meet up and discuss what's going on in their lives."Tanya Berasnevich says the experiences her daughter Masha takes part in help boost her confidence and social skills."It's the highlight of her week, she really loves it. She feels safe and relaxed. "She was very shy but then she started coming out of her shell and joining activities and now she talks a lot at home after the session."The charity receives some funding from the City of York Council and some from the National Lottery, but has to raise the rest itself. "All the funding we try to go for, there's a lot of competition," says Ms Thompson."We are out and about all the time, bucket collecting in supermarkets, we do coffee mornings and all kinds of fundraising, as much as we can, but we're only a really small organisation."Our young people speak for themselves, they get so much out of it and it would be absolutely awful to have to start making cuts."City of York Council's Maxine Squire says reduced public sector budgets and the increasing costs of support services were increasing pressure on the voluntary sector across the told the BBC that the council continues to support York Inspirational Kids "both financially and in developing a sustainable operating model for the future."The Treasury has been approached for comment. Listen to highlights from North Yorkshire on BBC Sounds, catch up with the latest episode of Look North.
The Guardian
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Overwhelmed by company? Five introvert-friendly ways to hang out
When I arrive at a gathering I tend to announce my departure in the same breath as my greeting. 'Hi! I brought some wine, where do you want it? Just letting you know I can only stay an hour because I start work really early on Sunday mornings.' Then I might throw in a little yawn and stretch. Restaurants aren't much different: my leg's likely to be jiggling before the order has been jotted down. The last mouthful of dessert sounds a last-drinks bell in my head. It's not that I don't love my friends. I've just got a window of tolerance for face-to-face activities, and then the agitation kicks in. I've been so fascinated by social reluctance that I wrote a book exploring it, The Introvert's Guide to Leaving the House. In my 30s, I'd embarked on a five-year mission to become more outgoing, figuring out which situations I could be comfortable in, and setting myself exercises in social etiquette, empathy and positive reframing. These techniques became second nature by the time I hit my 40s, so I decided to share what I'd learned. It seems timely. When discussing the book with non-introverts, I realised that social overwhelm has massively broadened in recent years. Whether you blame lockdowns, news-cycle malaise or digital-era disconnect, we're less likely to commit to an outing. But I've learned it's possible to engineer low-key hangs that charge an introvert's social battery – or at least don't drain it as quickly. The three-second rule doesn't just apply to dropped food. As reported by the British Psychological Society, a 2016 study of nearly 500 participants found the vast majority felt most comfortable with eye contact that lasted just over three seconds. Business blogs from Throughline Group to Inc will tell you that's the optimal eye gaze time because you're showing engagement without becoming unnerving. That's why shoulder-to-shoulder activities are such a relief. These are activities we do alongside each other rather than face to face, such as going to a gallery, playing pool, a games night, joining your local chapter of the Silent Book Club or taking a simple walk – cheapest hangout ever. Men tend to naturally go shoulder to shoulder more than women; in fact, the Australian Men's Shed Association slogan is 'Men don't talk face to face, but shoulder to shoulder'. I prefer to know in advance how many people are coming. A newish friend once suggested we go on holiday overseas. I agreed, we made an itinerary, then she announced that another woman, who I didn't know, would be joining us. 'The more the merrier!' said the friend. Worst holiday ever. The maths is simple: the more bodies there are in a social pile-up, the more overwhelming it becomes. A single person is possible to read. A scenario with two people requires split concentration to accommodate them both. More than two people means second-guessing what everyone is thinking, so knowing what is most appropriate to say is absolutely impossible. It can help to know who's coming in order to take a moment beforehand to recall the last time you met each person and what was going on for them. Having a one to one side-conversation with someone about something that interests them is infinitely better than aimless group small talk. You could even make notes in your phone contacts whenever you've had an interesting chat. It's not stalking, it's anthropology – you're studying your community. What if you don't know the people? I like to gamify a situation I'm not looking forward to. In this scenario the game could be: figure out who in this group could potentially be your new BFF. Find common ground. Many introverts take the scraping of chair legs across a cafe floor extremely personally. We're sensitive to loud, unscheduled noises (at kids' parties, balloons were a nightmare for me), so venues with the acoustics of a concrete cube are best avoided lest we fritz our synapses. For anyone with sensory processing issues or simply of an irritable nature, a table of six people talking at once sounds like a beer hall during Oktoberfest. Worse, there's probably going to be cross-talk, where more than one conversation is competing for our brain's attention. In these social gatherings I often fall silent. People must think I have the consumptive constitution of a 19th-century muse. If it's just you and a friend, you could likely get away with suggesting a venue change because you're dying to hang on to their every word but can't hear them. If it's a larger group you could try wearable tech – the fancy term for earplugs. Brands such as Happy Ears, Earjobs or Loop earplugs reduce background noise while still allowing conversation to cut through. Every year I fly back to the UK for a week-long family holiday by the seaside, but despite wanting to see my family, I find being fully present during this intensive period a real struggle. After each trip my cousin Adam posts a big album of photos to Facebook. Without fail I'm only in about two photographs, because all week I've been 'just going back to the house', 'just off to get something' or giving them a head start to the beach hut and promising to catch up. Eventually. One year, I decided I would consciously opt to skip certain activities and fully participate in others. Of course, I chose to commit to shoulder-to-shoulder activities. For instance, I opted out of sitting and chatting in the beach hut, but committed to a board game in the evening. Think of the next lengthy get-together you've got coming up and consider what elements you'll sit out and what you'll commit to. Then make sure you're in the photos. Now you've committed to a hangout, give yourself time to self-regulate, since your mood has an effect on others. That means no sighing on arrival or being distant. Introverts can find it harder than most to communicate what's going on for us, but developmentally, managing our spillage is something we ought to be on top of by the time we leave school. If we're still killing everyone's buzz as adults, then it's something we've given ourselves permission to do, hoping people will just make allowances. If your modus operandi has always been Wallow Now, Apologise Later, a good way to behaviour-check yourself is to ask: am I likely to send an apologetic text to this person later? If the answer is yes, try to tackle your behaviour in the moment instead. You might acknowledge your mood and say you're going to reset. You could even half-jokingly ask the other person to help you out by giving you an update on their news while you're 'rebooting'. Better still, take a few minutes before a meet-up to focus on your positive relationship with the person and what might be going on in their life. Ultimately, the best way to get out of your own head is to consider another person's needs. Jenny Valentish is the author of The Introvert's Guide to Leaving the House (Simon & Schuster, A$36.99)
Medscape
20-05-2025
- Health
- Medscape
New Data: Autism Doesn't Impede Effective Communication
Autism is clinically defined by impairments in social communication, leading to assumptions that individuals with autism are less effective communicators. But a new study challenges this notion. The study found no significant difference in the effectiveness of how adults with autism and those without autism communicate, challenging the stereotype that people with autism struggle to connect with others. This suggests that social difficulties faced by people with autism are more about differences in how people with and without autism communicate, rather than a lack of social ability in people with autism, researchers said. The study was published online on May 14 in Nature Human Behavior. Prior studies have suggested that communication challenges might stem from neurotype mismatches (autistic vs nonautistic) rather than autism itself. To investigate further, a team led by Catherine Crompton, PhD, with the Center for Clinical Brain Sciences, University of Edinburgh, Edinburgh, Scotland, tested how effectively information was passed between 311 adults with (n = 154) and without autism (n = 157). The participants were tested in groups where everyone had autism, everyone was without autism, or a combination of both. The first person in the group heard a story from the researcher, then passed it along to the next person in the group. Each person had to remember and repeat the story, and the last person in the chain recalled the story aloud. The amount of information passed on at each point in the chain was scored to discern how effective participants were at sharing the story. The researchers found no significant differences in the effectiveness of information transfer between groups with autism, groups without autism, and mixed groups. They did note significant decay of information over time, but this was unrelated to neurotype matching. After the communication task, the researchers asked the participants to rate how much they enjoyed the interaction with the others in the group. They found that adults without autism preferred interacting with others like themselves, while those with autism preferred learning from peers with autism, which could come down to the different ways that people with and without autism communicate, the researchers said. For adults with autism, disclosing their diagnosis might improve social experiences by fostering greater rapport, the data suggested. Overall, the results support a paradigm shift from viewing autistic communication through a deficit model to recognizing it as a difference in communication style, the researchers said. 'Autism has often been associated with social impairments, both colloquially and in clinical criteria,' Crompton said in a news release. 'Researchers have spent a lot of time trying to 'fix' autistic communication, but this study shows that despite autistic and nonautistic people communicating differently, it is just as successful,' she said. 'With opportunities for autistic people often limited by misconceptions and misunderstandings, this new research could lead the way to bridging the communication gap and create more inclusive spaces for all,' Crompton added.
Yahoo
17-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Pictures: Teddies and tots head to Gourock Park for special picnic in the sun
IF YOU went down to the Gourock Park this week, you would have been in for a big surprise. Inverclyde childminders gathered with their tots to celebrate at a teddy bears picnic. All the wee ones brought their favourite teddies along and tucked into sandwiches, cakes, treats and music. (Image: George Munro) (Image: George Munro) (Image: George Munro) (Image: George Munro) The party was held in the bandstand area of Gourock Park to mark Childminding Week. Suzanne Connell, who has been childminding for 27 years, said: "This is National Childminding Week, so every childminder throughout the UK is holding a Teddy Bears picnic. "All the children brought their favourite teddies. "It's just a chance to bring everyone together. Children get the chance to meet other children while it's good for the adults to meet other children and other childminders too." (Image: George Munro) (Image: George Munro) (Image: George Munro) Childminders Adelene Hutchison and Diane Campbell said they try to hold an outing like this every year. Adelene said: "It's so good for the kids' social skills to encourge them to share." Adelene and Diane care for different children each day, and were planning to hold a picnic at Loch Thom and a day trip to Kilcreggan as part of the week of activities.
