Latest news with #sorry
The Independent
a day ago
- General
- The Independent
The only time a ‘sorry' expresses true regret
Academics have found that Britons use the word "sorry" in as many as 15 different ways. Only one of these uses expresses true regret, which is when someone is genuinely sorry to hear another person's bad news. The term "sorry" is frequently employed as a social lubricant, for politeness, or to ease awkward situations, rather than as a literal apology. This unique multifunctionality of "sorry" can cause confusion for foreigners who might assume a genuine apology is being made. A previous survey suggested Britons say "sorry" on average up to nine times a day.
Yahoo
2 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Britons say ‘sorry' in 15 different ways – but which one really means genuine regret?
We all say it - and most of the time, let's face it, we don't even mean it. Well, now researchers have backed up the theory, after finding Britons say 'sorry' in as many as 15 different ways, with only one actually expressing true regret. After examining different scenarios we use the apologetic term, they say the multitude of meanings even creates confusion for foreigners, who assume a literal apology is being made, rather than accounting for the other uses of the word. And they say only one of them means true regret - when someone is genuinely sorry to hear someone else's bad news. Karen Grainger, a lecturer in linguistics at Sheffield Hallam University commissioned by Babbel to analyse apologies, explained that 'sorry' is frequently used in attempts to be polite, and to take the edge of disagreements or awkwardness as well as to work around social norms. Britons say 'sorry' as many as nine times a day on average, a previous survey suggested, according to The Times. Mattias Pettersson, who is from Sweden but lives in the UK, told the newspaper: 'When I first started spending time with my British partner, I was struck by how often she said 'sorry'. At first, I thought I'd done something wrong. She'd say sorry when we passed each other in the hallway, when she handed me something, even mid-sneeze. 'Now, even with our two-year-old daughter and other Brits I met, I realised 'sorry' can mean anything from 'excuse me' to 'after you' to 'I exist, and I hope that's OK.' 'At first, I didn't know how to respond — should I apologise back? Say thank you? It was confusing but also fascinating: a tiny word carrying a thousand meanings. It felt like there were secret rules I hadn't learnt yet. Over time, I've learnt to love it. It feels less like an odd habit and more like a quiet sign of thoughtfulness and consideration.' Sofia Zambelli, who is a cultural and language expert at Babbel, added: 'In British English, 'sorry' is as much a social lubricant, an exclamation or a response to mild discomfort as it is a genuine apology. This unique multifunctionality makes it one of the most fascinating and simultaneously misunderstood words in the English language.' Here are the 15 ways Britons use the word 'sorry': A genuine apology is used when someone wants to show that they care about what another person is going through when they share bad news. Then there is the passive aggressive use, such as 'I'm sorry if I offended you.' If two people bump into each other, it is expected that both apologise, regardless of whose fault it is. When someone is blocking your way, often 'sorry' is used to politely ask them to move. 'Sorry' can be used before a polite challenge, such as: 'Sorry, but I disagree.' To enforce rules, 'sorry' is frequently used before the rule is stated, for example, 'Sorry but you can't sit there.' Then there are the times 'sorry' takes the place of 'pardon?' in conversations when someone misses what another person says. An apology can be used to express outrage, such as: 'I'm sorry but they were totally out of line.' People often apologise when turning down offers or plans. A 'sorry' can come before someone interrupts another. Before asking, someone to do something, a 'sorry' is often said. If you want to turn down someone who is trying to engage with you, if you are busy, for example, then usually you would apologise first. 'Sorry' is often said before speaking in an unfiltered manner. Minor rule-breaking might be prefaced with an apology, such as: 'Sorry, I just couldn't resist.' If suggesting a correction, but attempting to be polite about it, someone might say 'sorry'.
The Independent
2 days ago
- General
- The Independent
Britons say ‘sorry' in 15 different ways – but which one really means genuine regret?
We all say it - and most of the time, let's face it, we don't even mean it. Well, now researchers have backed up the theory, after finding Britons say 'sorry' in as many as 15 different ways, with only one actually expressing true regret. After examining different scenarios we use the apologetic term, they say the multitude of meanings even creates confusion for foreigners, who assume a literal apology is being made, rather than accounting for the other uses of the word. And they say only one of them means true regret - when someone is genuinely sorry to hear someone else's bad news. Karen Grainger, a lecturer in linguistics at Sheffield Hallam University commissioned by Babbel to analyse apologies, explained that 'sorry' is frequently used in attempts to be polite, and to take the edge of disagreements or awkwardness as well as to work around social norms. Britons say 'sorry' as many as nine times a day on average, a previous survey suggested, according to The Times. Mattias Pettersson, who is from Sweden but lives in the UK, told the newspaper: 'When I first started spending time with my British partner, I was struck by how often she said 'sorry'. At first, I thought I'd done something wrong. She'd say sorry when we passed each other in the hallway, when she handed me something, even mid-sneeze. 'Now, even with our two-year-old daughter and other Brits I met, I realised 'sorry' can mean anything from 'excuse me' to 'after you' to 'I exist, and I hope that's OK.' 'At first, I didn't know how to respond — should I apologise back? Say thank you? It was confusing but also fascinating: a tiny word carrying a thousand meanings. It felt like there were secret rules I hadn't learnt yet. Over time, I've learnt to love it. It feels less like an odd habit and more like a quiet sign of thoughtfulness and consideration.' Sofia Zambelli, who is a cultural and language expert at Babbel, added: 'In British English, 'sorry' is as much a social lubricant, an exclamation or a response to mild discomfort as it is a genuine apology. This unique multifunctionality makes it one of the most fascinating and simultaneously misunderstood words in the English language.' Here are the 15 ways Britons use the word 'sorry': A genuine apology is used when someone wants to show that they care about what another person is going through when they share bad news. Then there is the passive aggressive use, such as 'I'm sorry if I offended you.' If two people bump into each other, it is expected that both apologise, regardless of whose fault it is. When someone is blocking your way, often 'sorry' is used to politely ask them to move. 'Sorry' can be used before a polite challenge, such as: 'Sorry, but I disagree.' To enforce rules, 'sorry' is frequently used before the rule is stated, for example, 'Sorry but you can't sit there.' Then there are the times 'sorry' takes the place of 'pardon?' in conversations when someone misses what another person says. An apology can be used to express outrage, such as: 'I'm sorry but they were totally out of line.' People often apologise when turning down offers or plans. A 'sorry' can come before someone interrupts another. Before asking, someone to do something, a 'sorry' is often said. If you want to turn down someone who is trying to engage with you, if you are busy, for example, then usually you would apologise first. 'Sorry' is often said before speaking in an unfiltered manner. Minor rule-breaking might be prefaced with an apology, such as: 'Sorry, I just couldn't resist.' If suggesting a correction, but attempting to be polite about it, someone might say 'sorry'.
Times
3 days ago
- General
- Times
The 15 ways Britons say sorry — and only one of them means regret
Sorry seems to be the hardest word, sang Elton John — but not for British people it appears, for whom it has 15 different uses (and only one of them expressing true regret). Linguists have analysed the context in which we say sorry and identified multiple meanings. They say it often causes confusion for foreign people moving to the UK, who take it as a literal apology rather than decoding what is truly being expressed. Karen Grainger, a lecturer in linguistics at Sheffield Hallam University, says the word has become a reflex to be polite, soften disagreement, ease awkwardness and navigate social norms. She was commissioned by Babbel, a language learning site, to analyse use of the word, so that its learners could better understand its different meanings.
The Guardian
3 days ago
- General
- The Guardian
Sorry Babbel, but British people say sorry more than nine times a day
British people say 'sorry' on average nine times a day, according to research by Babbel, a German language learning app – the upstart Duolingo. Foreigners were baffled that it was so often, and I was baffled that it was so infrequent. I said it that many times just going once round Tesco Metro (I can't even process how many times I'd be sorry in the mega-store): Sorry (you are between me and a basket, you ought to have foreseen this, there is only one basket-station. Now that you haven't, all we can do is mourn); Sorry (I slightly trod on you); Sorry (you're clearly one of those people who still observes a one-way system, post-Covid, and even though I plainly disagree with this, otherwise I'd also do it, I sympathise with your vexation); Sorry (you're going way too fast and that's why we nearly collided, so really you should be sorry, except you seem a bit high, so I am sorry for your predicament); Sorry (we both reached for the same thing, yet the stakes are low, there are 17 more); Sorry (I joined the queue in the wrong place); Sorry (you joined the queue in the wrong place); Sorry (shop assistant, you are very slow to approve my age-sensitive purchase, considering you could ID me from space); Sorry (that my Clubcard isn't scanning, person behind me, even though I 100% guarantee that yours isn't going to scan either). This is why foreigners don't understand us; not because of 'British understatement' or even our fabulous heuristic of saying the opposite of what we mean, but because the word 'sorry' has infinite potential meanings – its intention can change in the middle of saying it. Probably – at a maximum – one time in 10 it means 'I did wrong, and I apologise'. Maybe predominantly it means 'you did wrong, but no hard feelings'. It can mean, 'we've both slightly transgressed one another's boundaries, and this is me signalling that life is too short to thrash out a shared norm, while at the same time, not being ready to completely surrender'. And this is just the sorries in a shop, with absolute strangers, no expectations, no consequences. A lot of the sorries identified by linguists are actually so strikingly pass-ag, so much like a punch in the face, that I'd never use them unless I was muttering at the radio (as I was, twice in this two-day experiment: 'I'm sorry, Conservative former minister, it's simply not true that you can self-diagnose a mental illness and then get disability benefits'; 'Sorry, gentleman on Magic FM, that isn't how carbon offsetting works'). It's like conjugating verbs in ancient Flemish: you can use the sarcastic-correction sorry, but only in these very precise circumstances; in private to yourself; as a joke; or on TV. I stepped out of the house and went for a coffee where, after my first cup, I said a genuine 'sorry - can I have another double espresso?' It meant a lot - I would hate to parade my caffeine dependency without shame; I don't want to put you to a repetitive task five seconds straight after you last did it; yet I do understand commerce, and if I had thought you really minded, I'd have gone with: 'I'm really, really sorry.' After that, the gamut of maternal sorries; 'sorry you're too hot' (you are whining, I cannot control the weather); 'sorry I didn't wake you up' (you should have woken yourself up); 'sorry there's no oat milk' (just drink milk). I guess that starts as a jujitsu move, if you apologise enough, they'll realise that they shouldn't have complained in the first place? A kind of Basil Fawlty, 'the management is processing your complaint, and all he can do is extend his heartfelt contrition, and then have a nervous breakdown'. It doesn't work, at all. I don't even know if they know I'm drawing on a deep cultural well of fake apology. Factor in the sorries of the road – hand-signal sorries; eyebrow-yikes, sorry!; more sarcastic 'sorry your indicators seem to be broken' – and by the time you sit down to do any kind of work, the currency has been debased, and if you've done anything even mildly wrong, that you actually do all the time, like take two days to reply to something, you're heading towards 'so so so so sorry'; 'I want to shoot myself in the face, I'm so sorry'. It's all pretty easy to decode, at least from the inside. The hard thing would be to stop doing it.
