Latest news with #stayAtHomeMom
News.com.au
5 days ago
- Business
- News.com.au
‘I've always known I wanted to be financially dependent on my husband': Aussie mum reveals why she chose to stay at home
Lexie says she's always wanted to be 'financially dependent' on her husband - a stance that has ignited fierce debate. Lexie, 26, is a mother of two who ran her own hairdressing business for seven years before having two children and deciding not to return to work full-time. 'I've always known I wanted to be financially dependent on my husband and I've never had an issue with it,' she said. Lexie explained her goal has always been to become a stay-at-home mum and wife. 'When I met my husband, we were just friends; I told him all my plans. I wanted to get married really young and have kids, and I didn't want to go back to work after having kids,' she said. The young mum said she fell in love with her husband so quickly because he wanted a 'similar dynamic,' therefore, money has always been an open conversation. But when Lexie publically shared her feelings on being 'financially dependent,' many found her honesty about money and work refreshing. 'Love this,' one praised. 'So good you guys were upfront so early on,' another noted. 'I think this is really great and should be normalised,' one noted. 'It has been like this generations on both sides of my family. So it is all I've ever known and I don't want anything else,' someone else shared. However, among the positive comments were people who expressed concern that Lexie was financially overreliant on her husband financially and that she'd end up with no superannuation. 'I cannot,' one remarked. Another argued, 'men especially love to change their minds,' implying Lexie might not be making the best financial decision. 'I don't disagree with this lifestyle but it's really becoming a privilege to be able to do this now due to the cost of living,' another said. 'If you're going to do this, you need to have a pre-nup signed that will guarantee you're looked after if the marriage ends, he decides to leave, cheat, etc. 'If you don't have that, no amount of financial awareness can save you if it ends and you have no money of your own. Please look out for yourselves, ladies,' one warned. Speaking to Lexie said she is frustrated that people assume she's somehow not financially savvy soley because she's not the one making money. 'Some people think there's an 'issue' with what I've chosen to do or that it must not be a choice or it isn't the right choice or it isn't a smart one,' she said. 'Just because I'm financially dependent on my husband doesn't mean I'm not financially unaware.' 'My husband and I have complete transparency. Just because I'm not earning the income doesn't mean I don't get to have a 50/50 say in how we spend it.' She also said no one should worry about her superannuation balance. 'We're still figuring it out; instead of making additional superannuation contributions, we're putting it onto our home loan because the interest rates are so high,' she said. She explained the point of the video was to point out that just because she's not the breadwinner, that doesn't mean she doesn't have equal financial power. The 26-year-old stressed the importance of being 'financially aware' and said that she has full access to all their money. Despite the concern from Aussies, the couple's choice to live on one income certainly isn't unusual. Millions of Australians are financially dependent on their partner, according to new research by financial comparison website Finder. Almost one in four women describe themselves as financially dependent, and Finder's research found that 22 per cent of millennials currently rely on their companions for money. When she fell pregnant, the couple soon after started living off her husband's income to ensure they could afford to keep it up. 'We had been practising living on one income a few months before my son was born in preparation,' she said. 'We reduced our living expenses and made some sacrifices so I had choices when it came to returning to work.' She did go back to work after her first, but after her second, the daycare costs put the couple off, and they decided to keep living off her husband's wage, which is over $100,000. Living on one income hasn't been too much of a struggle for the 26-year-old, she insists. 'I've always lived a minimalist style, we've always lived in our means. We have never had Afterpay or car loans. 'Our mortgage was the smallest we could get to get a house,' she said. The couple's mortgage is a manageable $500,000, and they intentionally bought below what they could afford to borrow. Still, the couple changed some habits to accommodate their income. 'We made changes, we changed our insurance, our phone plans, and we don't have many streaming services,' she said. 'We don't buy takeaway, we don't have gym memberships and we cut out those extra items. We focused solely on living with one income without stress, but there's always stress.' The 26-year-old ultimately argued that staying at home has allowed her husband to focus on his career and potentially earn more money. 'Being stay-at-home parent and taking on those responsibilities does mean my husband can thrive in his career,' she said. Sadly, she feels there's a stigma around stay-at-home mums because women get 'pitted against each other' where either choice is valid.
Irish Times
25-05-2025
- General
- Irish Times
Wages for housework: If your job is working in the home, should you be paid a salary?
'If you are a stay-at-home mom, your husband should be paying you a salary.' That's the pitch made by financial influencer Tori Dunlap, aka @HerFirst100k, in a TikTok post. Filming from the driver's seat of her car, she ticks off the jobs most mothers do without pay: 'Chauffeur, chef, nanny, project manager for the house...' The replies roll in – some appreciative, most dismissive. 'Bills paid, food on the table, card in my wallet and time with my kids. I'm paid better than any full-time job,' writes Robi Cheaux. 'She's compensated with free meals, housing , clothes, car , trips,' says Michael Candeta. Others object to the transactional logic of a wage. 'If you are married and have to 'pay your wife', you aren't actually married,' Sean Brady argues. 'Feminism is when my husband is my employer,' writes Roseann Adu. The conversation turns to performance reviews, with one person writing: 'If she wants a night off from making dinner, submit a PTO request one week in advance.' What's surprising is not that the internet objects to a wage for housework, but that a decades-old debate still sparks outrage. READ MORE In the 1970s, the activist Silvia Federici published a manifesto as part of the Wages for Housework campaign. Demanding a wage made the work, which was almost exclusively done by women, visible in a new way. It also challenged the idea that certain tasks and burdens – childcare, homemaking, the mental load – were somehow 'natural' to women. Federici called her manifesto Wages Against Housework, switching out 'for' with 'against'. She was suggesting that the money itself isn't really what's at stake. She believed that demanding a wage brings it into a market where it can be seen as work and, more urgently, refused. If capitalism was an iceberg, the economist team JK Gibson Graham have argued, then waged labour is just the tip. Under the surface are countless acts that go unrecognised and unpaid, but which keep the system afloat. These include childcare, voluntary work and even the 'work' of the biosphere. We don't usually cost these types of work. Economists call these jobs 'externalities', or benefits the capitalist system reaps without paying. In an attempt to bring more of the iceberg to the surface, economists have recently calculated that the work of a stay-at-home parent is equivalent to a salary of $175,000 (€154,778) a year. Today, if you are sick, elderly or dying, the state hopes that you have a family member who can care for you Externalities have only grown since the 1970s campaign for wages; invisible work fills the gap between what neoliberalism promises and what it actually delivers. In her book Family Values, Melinda Cooper argues that state welfare systems increasingly rely on the family – not as a beneficiary, but as a backstop. Neoliberal reforms reimagined the family as the first and proper site of care, responsibility and moral reform. Take changes to child support, for example. In the 1960s, the American welfare system directed its resources not to poor mothers, but to identifying and pursuing biological fathers to compel financial contributions. The state didn't just demand care – it sketched the form it would take, defining who counts as a family. In this way, Cooper argues, 'welfare reform sought to remind women that an individual man, not the state, was ultimately responsible for their economic security'. Today, if you are sick, elderly or dying, the state hopes that you have a family member who can care for you. When you go to work and your wage won't cover childcare, the state hopes that your family will step in, in the shape of a partner who isn't working outside the home or a grandparent, or an aunt who works from her home as a childminder. Dunlap's insistence that a man should pay his wife a salary evokes the era of the 'family wage' – when a single income (normally paid to a man) could support an entire family. Today it's far more likely that both partners work outside the home, with (mostly) women taking on a second shift of unpaid care work after hours. The vitriol and eyerolling comes, I think, from the impossible demand such a claim makes As some replies to Dunlap's video suggest, a wage for housework isn't just about costing labour. If a partner pays their spouse a wage, the very nature of relationships change. If 'love' hides domestic work, then wages risk turning lovers into co-workers – or worse, employer and employee. [ What the rows over skorts and public toilets reveal about Irish attitudes to equality Opens in new window ] [ Marriage equality 10 years on: A boy sees us hold hands and says 'I f***ing hate gay people' Opens in new window ] We're not always comfortable costing externalities. Like a marriage with its own HR department, they risk putting a price on priceless things – like a mother's love for her child. In doing so, these things can be robbed of their real value. It's not about putting a price on love or family, though. It's about exposing the illusion that our care comes without a cost. So, what would it look like to cost care? Environmental economists propose a Pigouvian tax. Named after the economist Arthur C Pigou, it is levied at corporations to offset the harms they cause but don't usually pay for. Carbon credits are one example. Reparations for centuries of colonial extraction, ecological devastation and slavery in the Global South could be another. What if we flipped the model? What if we taxed the benefits that capitalism absorbs for free? I'm proposing an inverted Pigouvian tax: a levy on corporations and institutions that profit from the unpaid care work they don't provide. Revenue could be redistributed as a care wage, a universal basic income, or put into public services like childcare and elder care. Why is a wage for housework still so controversial in 2025? It doesn't only come down to sexism. The vitriol and eyerolling comes, I think, from the impossible demand such a claim makes. The reality is that capitalism needs unpaid work. If we brought all that work on to the ledger – if we counted every nurse suffering from burnout and every exhausted mother – the books wouldn't balance. The system would break.
Yahoo
11-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Mom's Clever Trick to Getting 'Me Time' While Raising a Toddler Goes Viral (Exclusive)
Jess Sharp is the proud mom of 2-year-old daughter Amelia She taught Amelia how to ask her dad for one-on-one time, giving Sharp some much-needed "me time" Sharp tells PEOPLE the alone time allows her "to relax and reconnect" with herselfFor stay-at-home parents, carving out proper "me time" can be very challenging, especially with a baby or toddler in the house. Each phase of parenthood brings its own set of challenges and needs, making it feel like there is rarely ever time to truly relax. However, one mother went viral on TikTok for training her 2-year-old to specifically ask for father-daughter dates so she can finally have some moments to herself. 'It's not always easy to make it happen, but I've found that even a few minutes of peace can make a big difference and help me feel more recharged to take on the day,' Jess Sharp tells PEOPLE exclusively. Whether it's getting lost in a book, discovering a new love for baking, or taking the time to garden, she finds that the simplest of things can be extremely therapeutic as a stay-at-home parent. 'It's not about doing anything extravagant, but more about finding joy in the simple moments that allow me to relax and reconnect with myself,' Sharp says. After giving birth to her daughter, Amelia, she says her "me time" looks very different. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 'My approach has changed a lot since becoming a mom,' she admits. 'Before, I only thought of myself and did anything I pleased…The things I took for granted before, like sleep, long showers – these little things I appreciate in a way I didn't before.' Sharp believes she is also more creative, focused, and energized when she can carve out some time for herself. By making this a priority, stay-at-home parents can make a huge difference in how they feel and how they connect with the people they love. 'As a mom, it's easy to put everyone else's needs before our own, but you can't pour from an empty cup,' Sharp emphasizes. 'By prioritizing me, I'm not only helping myself but also helping my family. Self-care doesn't have to be luxurious or time-consuming. It's about finding small moments that make me happy and making them a part of my routine.' Nevertheless, juggling the responsibilities of being a mom while maintaining her own sense of self is difficult, but Sharp says she's working on it by setting boundaries and realizing when she needs a break. 'I truly believe it's crucial for moms to prioritize our well-being. When we take care of ourselves, we're in a much better place to care for our families,' she explains. 'I've learned to remind myself that it's not selfish to take time for myself, it's actually necessary for my mental and physical health.' Thankfully, Sharp's husband completely understands the importance of self-care. She says he knows what makes her happy and that their communication is key to helping themselves be better partners and parents. 'Even with his busy schedule, he notices when I need a break and checks in, reminding me to take it easy,' Sharp says. 'He's always so supportive, stepping in to baby duty, even after a long day at work.' Raising a child is a team effort, and she really appreciates how her husband always makes sure she gets the "me time" she deserves – just as she does for him. As parents they try to teach their daughter the importance of listening to one's body. 'For example, when we feel tired, we try to rest, and when we're hungry, we eat. It's all about teaching her to care for herself from an early age,' Sharp explains. 'By modeling these positive habits, I hope she'll grow up with a solid understanding of the balance between caring for others and making sure to take care of herself, too.' Whether it's asking for an ice cream date with dad or simply letting them know when she needs some space, Sharp and her husband encourage their toddler to express her feelings. 'My husband and I always think Amelia is such an old soul,' Sharp reveals. 'Even though she may not grasp all the details now, I think she can definitely pick up on my tone of voice and the energy I put into my messages. She's incredibly smart, and we have such a good way of communicating with each other.' Despite the video's silliness, the intention behind it has resonated with many stay-at-home parents. Sharp says it's all about 'finding those pockets of time in between the chaos.' Read the original article on People
Daily Mail
10-05-2025
- Lifestyle
- Daily Mail
DEAR CAROLINE: I thought motherhood would give me a sense of purpose. Instead, I've lost who I am and I feel like a failure
Q I have three children, aged eight, six and two. My husband and I always knew from the start of our relationship that we wanted a big family. After having our eldest, we both agreed I'd stop work to look after them. I had a high-powered job, but couldn't wait to swap my suit and tube ride for maternity clothes and car seats. However, while I love my children very much, being a stay-at-home mother is so much harder than I imagined. I thought motherhood would finally give me a real sense of purpose. Instead, a lot of the time I'm overwhelmed and lost.
