3 days ago
Moment lawmaker halts meeting about veterans killing themselves to scold colleague who used 'offensive' phrase
A Boston City Councilor derailed a discussion about preventing suicides in the city, including among veterans, to warn her fellow members not to use what she called a 'stigmatizing' phrase.
Sharon Durkan, a Democrat, was the next to speak after Councilor Ed Flynn introduced a resolution on Wednesday to make it more difficult for people to jump off high rise parking garages.
Durkan took issue with Flynn saying a man who jumped to his death from a Chinatown parking garage last week 'committed suicide'.
'I know many people that feel so strongly about the way that we talk about this particular issue, and I think it's very important that we not use stigmatizing language to describe those that have taken their own lives,' she said.
'I would prefer instead of "committed suicide" that we say something like...' she continued before trailing off without offering an alternative.
'I, having found a family member who attempted, I feel very strongly that we not use stigmatizing language,' she concluded.
Flynn, who is also a Democrat, initially responded to Durkan's criticism by bringing up his veteran status — having served 24 years in the US Navy — and by talking about his dedication to advocating for disabled veterans.
'I don't want to make this into anything more than a little bit of criticism from a colleague,' he said. 'I'm disappointed in hearing those comments.'
After Council President Ruthzee Louijeune said the correct term was 'died by suicide,' Durkan was recognized to speak again and said Flynn's comments were 'triggering'.
'This really for me, it just was triggering for me so that's why I wanted to say something because I think we owe it to our constituents that have suicidal ideations to know that if they lose their life it is not their fault. It is never your fault,' she said.
The hearing went further off topic when Councilor Julia Meija agreed with Durkan that the phrase 'committed suicide' was triggering for her.
Meija also spent time talking about her own suicide attempt and how her mother allegedly did not properly care for her.
'I always like to see things as teachable moments. It's all how we choose to experience feedback that we get, I think we're all a work in progress,' Meija said.
It was after this that Flynn directly accused Durkan of derailing the conversation, which was supposed to be cutting down on the number of suicides at parking garages.
Before the entire session was hijacked to speak about language, Flynn proposed adding higher railings, training garage employees and adding signs with suicide-prevention hotlines.
'Councilor Durkan felt it necessary to continue the conversation a second time,' Flynn said. 'For a colleague to distract from the purpose of this hearing is disappointing. I don't want to use a stronger word, but I'll just say, disappointing.'
Dozens of people responded to the clip of her condemning Flynn's use of the phrase 'committed suicide'
'My concern is, going forward, what are we going to do about high rise parking garages that are easily accessible for people without any rails or infrastructure. That's my message. That message has now been lost because of this distraction,' he added.
Durkan was heavily criticized online for her conduct during the meeting, which one person called 'performance empathy'.
'What did @rondurk even hope to accomplish with this statement?' they wrote. 'She only wanted the spotlight to perform. How selfish and pathetic.'
'Her in a nutshell. Focused on all the wrong things,' another person wrote.
Someone else disagreed with her premise entirely, writing: 'I think calling it exactly what it is, is the right thing to do. Words matter and being honest matters. Everyone knows what it is no matter how you change the words so stop trying to make it pretty.'
