5 days ago
How Do I Know If I'm Being Strung Along At Work?
Being strung along is not always personal. But staying in that cycle for too long can become your ... More choice.
It usually starts with encouragement. You are told to be patient. That good things are coming. That your name is being discussed. At first, it feels promising. But after a while, you notice a pattern. The conversations repeat. The progress stalls. And you begin to ask yourself a difficult question—am I being strung along?
Sometimes the answer is yes. Not always maliciously. But when organizations are indecisive or unwilling to make commitments, they often keep high performers close with just enough praise to prevent them from walking away. The challenge is learning to spot it early.
Here are a few signs that can help you figure it out.
The Timeline Keeps Changing
You are told that a promotion or raise is being reviewed. It just needs one more approval. Or one more quarter of results. Or one more meeting with leadership. But each time you follow up, the goalposts shift. Spring becomes summer. Summer becomes end of year. Then nothing.
When people intend to follow through, they give clear timeframes. They put things in writing. They name dates. People who do not plan to follow through tend to keep things vague and warm. If you are always being told to wait but never being told why, you may be in a holding pattern.
Another warning sign is when your manager constantly talks about how valuable you are but makes no moves to advance you. You are thanked often. You are described as a key part of the team. But you are not being invited into bigger decisions. You are not being asked what you want next.
This creates a loop. You feel seen but not supported. Encouraged but not empowered. It keeps you close to leadership but not inside it. That space is easy to occupy for years without realizing it. And it almost always benefits the organization more than it benefits you.
If you are always 'almost ready,' that is another clue. You are told your time is coming, but first you need to lead one more initiative. Or hit one more target. Or demonstrate just a bit more readiness. It sounds like development. But it never ends.
Growth should be measurable. If you have done what was asked and the reward keeps moving out of reach, then the ask may have been a distraction. Not a step forward.
Others Move While You Wait
Sometimes the strongest indicator comes from watching what happens around you. If others are getting promoted, getting raises or stepping into new roles while you are still being told to wait, take notice. It means the system can move. It just isn't moving for you.
This is not about comparison. It is about fairness. When you are constantly reassured but not advanced while others are, that gap is not a coincidence. It is a pattern.
One way firms delay advancement is by slowly increasing your responsibility without changing your role. You are given more accounts, more people to mentor, more projects to lead. But your title stays the same. Your pay stays the same.
This is often described as preparation. But if the preparation has no end point, then it is just scope creep. It looks like investment in your future. But it is often just convenience.
The Conversation Avoids Clarity
If every conversation about your growth is filled with warm language and no actual plan, that is a signal. You may be told you are on track. That you are doing all the right things. That the leaders are rooting for you. But when you ask for specifics, the answers get soft.
Budgets are being reviewed. Structures are shifting. The timing isn't right. These things might be true. But when they are true for too long, they become a script.
The right question to ask is not 'Do they like me?' It is 'Are they acting on it?'
Being strung along doesn't just stall your career. It drains your energy. Over time, you stop asking for more. You stop pushing. You make yourself smaller. You convince yourself to be patient even when the facts suggest you shouldn't be.
That emotional fatigue is often the most dangerous part. It makes you easier to manage. Easier to overlook. And easier to keep exactly where you are.
What to Do
First, write down the story you are being told. Then write down what has actually changed. If the story is full of hope but the actions are flat, it is time to shift.
Ask for a plan with dates. Ask what will be different in three months. Ask what would stop a promotion from happening. If the answers are clear and documented, that is progress. If they are soft, circular or defensive, that is your signal.
You are not being demanding by asking for clarity. You are being responsible with your time and your talent.
Being strung along is not always personal. But staying in that cycle for too long can become your choice. And the moment you see it for what it is, you can start to build your way out.
