17-07-2025
What's Really Behind the 'Gen Z Stare' and Why Does It Matter?
If you've caught your teen glaring at you with a blank, expressionless stare, here's what's behind it.
Fact checked by Sarah ScottKey Takeaways
Teens today often show a blank look called the "Gen Z stare" that can signal discomfort, not disrespect.
Experts say social anxiety, pandemic isolation, and growing up online may shape how Gen Z connects in person.
Even if it looks like attitude, this stare may just mean your teen feels misunderstood or a mom of three teenage girls, the "Gen Z stare' is a look I know well. Other parents of adolescents and young adults can likely also easily identify that blank, expressionless gaze that is ever-so-slightly tinged with the faint notion of being so over whatever you are saying.
Not yet familiar with the "Gen Z Stare" that is also trending online? A TikTok shared by mom and creator @rileysomsendespot nails how an interaction between a millennial and a Gen Zer might play out, with the older person perceiving the stare as rude.
But do younger people really intend to be giving off side-eye vibes with this behavior?
Comments on the TikTok post are divided about the impetus behind the stare, with some millennials testifying that the up-and-coming generation doesn't have 'social decency' and that their 'disinterested' expression "immediately ruins the interaction.'
But other commenters defend the 'Gen Z stare,' saying that it's a symptom of social anxiety, or that the look can be explained by pure and simple apathy over small talk.
The common theme is that adults and kids alike are familiar with the 'loading screen'-like glare that seems to characterize Gen Z.
Is the 'Gen Z Stare' Really Anything New?
It's a natural conclusion to wonder if the look I get when I dare to ask my teen a question resembles the put-out expression I'd give my mom back when I was her age. Like, did Gen Z invent anything that other generations haven't been doing since the dawn of time, when cave-teens glared at their parents?
'Teens getting annoyed by certain questions and situations has been a constant throughout history,' confirms Matthew Solit, MSW, LMSW, an executive clinical director at LifeStance Health.
Also, not exactly groundbreaking is that adolescence has always been an awkward time, when communicating with adults can be challenging. Just watch any John Hughes movie from the 1980s for confirmation of this strained dynamic.
Even with those factors in play, however, there's no doubt that Gen Z has grown up with unique circumstances that may be impacting their behavior.
Social Media and the 'Gen Z Stare'
Gen Z is the first generation to grow up with social media and online access being a part of their lives from birth, and that has to have mattered in ways we are still figuring out. But is there any truth to the notion that the 'Gen Z stare' is evidence teens interact online without so much as a wobble, but struggle to engage in real-life, everyday situations?
'Many young people have become more comfortable expressing themselves through text or curated content than in spontaneous, in-person interactions,' says Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, a New York City-based neuropsychologist and Director of Comprehend the Mind.
Solit agrees, telling Parents, 'The shift to more digital communication can be a big factor in social anxiety with face-to-face encounters, particularly with other generations.'
He goes on to explain, 'The rules of digital communication are different. There is not the same pressure of having someone physically in front of you who needs a response when communicating via chat or social media.'
But social media alone can't explain the behavior, especially since a major milestone in Gen Z's formative years was the pandemic.
COVID-19's Impact on Gen Z's Social Skills
The pandemic most certainly robbed our kids of at least a year that they should have been among peers in person.
'Many teens lost opportunities to engage in daily peer interactions that are foundational for building emotional attunement and social confidence,' says Judy Ho, PhD., clinical and forensic neuropsychologist and professor of psychology at Pepperdine University.
According to Dr. Ho, studies have found that the pandemic increased rates of social anxiety and avoidance in teens, who may also experience more discomfort in social situations.
'It's hard to imagine that a year away from the intensive social interaction we get in school did not have an impact on Gen Z,' agrees Solit. But he also notes that the extent to which Gen Z was affected by the pandemic will be studied for many years to come.
Gen Z May Be Rebelling Against Small Talk
Few people enjoy small talk, such as 'Nice weather we're having.' But Gen Z is not afraid, in many cases, to show it with the 'Gen Z stare.'
According to Dr. Hafeez, their particularly short attention spans in the age of social media and instant gratification may in part explain this phenomenon.
'When faced with repetitive questions or forced small talk, they don't always have the patience to respond in a way that feels genuine or worthwhile,' she tells Parents.
Similarly, ask my teens, and they say that the stare signals unadulterated annoyance with questions they view as having obvious answers. Dr. Ho has seen this in action as well.
'For many teens, the stare is a subtle protest—a nonverbal way to signal discomfort with questions that feel condescending, repetitive, or judgmental,' she says.
Adults May Be Misunderstanding The 'Gen Z Stare'
To be clear, not all teens are taking part in some sort of mass rebellion by staring us down. In fact, experts agree that many adults may be misinterpreting the expression as rudeness, when that is not at all what's behind the 'Gen Z stare.'
In addition to the possibility that some young people are experiencing social anxiety or awkwardness, thus, the stare, they may also be attempting to manage the overstimulation that runs rampant in our modern world.
'Parents should know that the 'Gen Z stare' isn't always about attitude or disrespect,' says Dr. Hafeez. 'A lot of the time, it's just how teens are managing overstimulation or trying not to show too much. They've grown up watching people online who stay calm, detached, or sarcastic as a way of being cool or in control.'
Young people are navigating a uniquely pressurized world in which they face constant social comparison, according to Dr. Ho. She theorizes that the 'Gen Z stare' could be a coping mechanism.
'It speaks volumes about how young people today are managing overstimulation, performance pressure, and emotional fatigue,' she says.
The 'Gen Z stare' May Have Consequences
No matter the reasons behind the flat, unimpressed look that Gen Z has seemingly mastered, experts also agree on what commenters assert in the TikTok example: Since many older people view the glare as being rude, it can have serious consequences in the real world, such as lost job opportunities and the inability to form lasting relationships.
'As parents, ideally, we are responsible for raising our kids to become confident, functional, and happy adults,' asserts Solit. He says the behavior is worth addressing if you observe your teen coming across as rude to a teacher, coach, or at their job. 'For Gen Z to be successful, they will have to navigate how to talk with individuals from other generations.'
And, as Dr. Hafeez points out, 'The longer it goes unaddressed, the more natural it can feel, and the harder it will become to relearn more open, connected ways of interacting.'
Here's some advice for helping your teen become aware of their stare, and potentially correct it, include:
Don't take the look personally. 'Coming at it with curiosity instead of judgment makes it easier to actually talk about what's going on,' advises Dr. Hafeez.
Don't call out the stare in the moment. Dr. Hafeez recommends letting the behavior ride for a beat and then talking about it later when things are calm.
Model the behavior you want to see in your teen. Parents should show open body language and eye contact as counterexamples to the 'Gen Z stare,' according to Dr. Hafeez.
Give teens opportunities to engage with others in person. Dr. Hafeez recommends facilitating low-pressure chances to talk with adults or peers offline as much as possible.
Ask questions to understand the why. Dr. Ho cautions parents not to view the stare simply as a bad habit, but to treat it as a meaningful piece of data. Ask questions such as, 'When you go quiet like that, what's going through your mind?' or 'I've noticed that you've been staring off more and more, what's going on and how might I be able to help?'
Mirror back what you see. Solit says giving your child a 'Gen Z stare' may help them understand what they are putting out into the world.
Solit warns parents that it may not be possible to eliminate the behavior altogether. And, as he points out, every older generation is convinced that younger generations are doomed. But, it's likely that this is not the case with Gen Z, just as it wasn't with previous generations. So, ultimately, deep breath, millennials. It'll be OK.
Read the original article on Parents
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