26-04-2025
Can Mel Robbin's viral ‘Let Them' theory really change your life?
Boomer: I'm fed up with washing my teens' mouldy plates.
Gen Z: You've got to let them.
Let them wash up? They'll be there for weeks and I could do without their dirty crockery sprouting the next global pandemic. The house value will plummet.
No, use the 'let them' theory. If they want to live in filth, let them.
A parenting strategy that says leave them to rot? They threatened me with ChildLine when I took away their Xbox.
It's not leaving them to rot, it's mindfully surrendering to things you can't control. In the words of the theory's creator, 56-year-old Mel Robbins, it 'creates emotional peace for you and a better relationship with others'.
I'm not sure our relationship would be better if I had let you give yourself a fringe with the kitchen scissors.
You should read Robbins' book, The Let Them Theory. It sold 100,000 copies in its first week and topped both The New York Times' and the Sunday Times' bestseller lists for a month.
You know what they say – if someone's daft enough to spend £22.99 on a book full of shoddy life advice, let them.
Don't be so closed minded. On TikTok #LetThemTheory has had 15 million views and it helps you rationalise any issue. Take dating. If your partner isn't ready to commit, Robbins says, just let them go.
She's spun 20 chapters of psychobabble out of a theory that amounts to 'don't worry about what you can't fix and don't hold unwilling boyfriends hostage'.
Hardly. One Refinery29 writer applied it for a month and said it changed her life. 'It's freeing not to care,' she wrote, 'but instead focus on your own decisions and thoughts… it leads to a greater sense of inner peace.'
Their editor clearly has a very 'let them' attitude if they let them publish this drivel.
But even Oprah Winfrey told her 22.5 million Instagram followers that Robbins' book is a 'life-changing tool for those seeking to regain power and peace'.
Marie Antoinette had a very let them attitude – and look how that ended.
You're deflecting with humour, but working on your emotional intelligence makes you a better wife, mum and businesswoman.
You try being a better wife, mum and businesswoman when juggling your boss's demands with calls from school saying Jimmy's been sick over his PE kit again.
That's why you need to set boundaries. You can follow 'boundary coach' Kami Orange on TikTok, as she gives her 280,000 followers prepared scripts to protect their peace.
OK, so what do I say when my child is sick?
'I need today off to hold space for my child who's currently navigating a systemic virus. I'm consciously choosing to put parenting first rather than perpetuate cycles of emotional abandonment.'
They'd think I was 'currently navigating' a mental breakdown. Let's try this scenario: what do I say if I'm sick?
'I need to recentre, reset and regulate my physical and mental health. Thank you for supporting a trauma-informed workflow.'
No wonder the economy's going down the drain if we're all recentring, resetting and regulating on company time.
Haven't you listened to psychobabble queen Meghan Markle's Confessions Of A Female Founder podcast with CEO Whitney Wolfe Herd, who created two billion-pound dating apps by 'fundamentally rearchitecting' boundaries between personal and work life?
I'm with that reader who said in the FT about Meghan: 'She's one American export I'd gladly support tariffs on.'
We've talked about women supporting women. Meghan's podcast is about how 'the success of every woman should be an inspiration to another. We should raise each other up.'
You're right. Let them radiate joy and 'fundamentally rearchitect' boundaries to their hearts' content. In the meantime I'll be exposing their nonsense with my own podcast.
