Latest news with #toxicrelationships
Fast Company
17 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Fast Company
TikTok users are exposing their worst exes—all to the soundtrack of Lorde's new single
The latest TikTok trend has people exposing their terrible exes and most toxic relationship stories to Lorde's new single ' Man of the Year '—with receipts. Since the song dropped at the end of last month, the trend has quickly gained traction on TikTok. Typically following a slideshow format, users post a selfie before revealing a series of text messages or, worse, a voice note from truly the worst villains. While the trend fundamentally misinterprets the lyrics, which explore Lorde's gender identity, it has nonetheless opened Pandora's box online. One viral post, with almost five million views, shows someone scrolling through their ex-partner's unopened Snapchat messages from other women (they just keep coming). 'At least I was pinned,' the TikToker joked in the caption. 'That looks exhausting. is he unemployed,' one commenter asked. Another user posted an actual EDM track her ex created using a crying voicemail she had sent. 'He cheated, i broke up with him and then he proceeded to make a edm song to a crying voicemail,' she explained in the caption. 'I think you've found a unique experience,' one person commented. 'I'm so sorry this is the funniest thing i've ever seen,' another added. Some users chose to opt out of the trend. 'Could BODY this trend but chose peace,' one TikTok user posted, hinting at some truly damning receipts. Some videos shared as part of the trend are genuinely disturbing, detailing harrowing accounts of emotional and physical abuse. According to the United Nations, over a quarter (27%) of women worldwide, aged between 15 and 49, who have been in a relationship report having experienced some form of physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner. Even Lorde, the unwitting originator of the trend, felt compelled to respond. Earlier this week, she posted a clip shaking her head as the song plays, her face expressing disbelief. The caption reads: 'These messages……' In response to one comment—'girl yes, it's got me scared'—Lorde replied: 'I can't look away.' Another summed up the trend: 'guys you're stressing out lorde.'
Washington Post
a day ago
- General
- Washington Post
Carolyn Hax: Will girlfriend's mean mom encroach on their future together?
Dear Carolyn: For a year, I've been dating 'Sylvia.' Sylvia is smart, funny, kind, fits well with my family and friends — she is a bright light and makes me a better person. The BUT is her mom. She demands constant attention and validation, and she is mean. She treats retail and waitstaff rudely and has unreasonable demands. She saw a picture of my sister and said she would be pretty if she weren't so fat (she's not fat!!). Talking about a cousin, she says unprintable things about her sex life. The mom will gaslight Sylvia for the smallest things, or say mean things about her weight, hair, underachieving at her job — and, five seconds later, pull her close and tell her she loves her. Sylvia is blind to her mom's meanness because she isn't willing or ready to see it yet. She excuses all her behavior and says her mom had a tough life. I can limit my time with her mom, but I love Sylvia. What happens if we get married and have kids? I wouldn't want kids influenced by her mom's nastiness. Do people break up because of their parents? I've asked Sylvia to go to therapy, but she says only doomed couples go to therapy before marriage. — Anonymous Anonymous: Not the right question. People break up because one of them chews too loudly. Plus, her 'doomed couples' view is a rigid, mindless, self-defeating response to a fair request from someone who seems pretty convincingly in her corner. So you have decent Sylvia reasons to question your future with Sylvia, before you even get to the mother. And that's before getting to deeply serious reasons: that the abuse from Mom that Sylvia ignores, excuses or doesn't comprehend is the abuse she is at risk, in some form, of carrying forward. Her nonsensical response to therapy is a little green shoot of extremist thinking. Readers with long memories will recall I once dismissed therapy this early in a relationship — so maybe it takes a mindless reflex to know one. I'll share what trained me out of mine, in hopes it can help you with Sylvia; given her intense family dysfunction, your opening her mind to therapeutic care in this small way could be handing her the proverbial file baked into a cake. First, every conversation about relationship health comes back around to trust. If you have conducted yourself as a decent human — meaning, you treat Sylvia's interests as inherently equal to yours vs. as props for your whims — then the good-faith answer to your therapy request, for your partner, is yes. Period. I mean, really. It's 50 minutes with a health professional. You're not insisting she juggle sharp things. Trust mechanisms, alas, tend to be the first casualties of abuse. In that case, couples counseling becomes a no — for good reason, maybe even for Sylvia. But talk about a six-word pitch for individual counseling: to be trust-challenged … and dating. Second, we all bring our stuff to relationships. When it reacts badly with someone else's, that's often a hint to break up. The younger me would advise that; why force it? But now I see how that becomes an easy excuse to hop from person to person, never admitting or fixing your stuff. It is both humbling and motivating to admit you want to get along with someone better than your current skills permit. Why quibble over the timing? So, third, for the Sylvias: 'Doomed' isn't from therapy itself, or admitting the need. It's from minds closed to new information. I hope she's ready to hear you.
The Sun
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Sun
Love Island star calls for show to be AXED – eight years after hitting rock bottom on it
LOVE Island star Malin Andersson has called for the show to be AXED - eight years after hitting rock bottom on it. Malin, 32, said it's 'shocking' the ITV2 staple is still on-air and accused it of fuelling eating disorders and glorifying toxic relationships. 4 She took to her Instagram Stories to share a powerful statement hours before the new series kicked off, nearly a decade after she appeared on it. Malin wrote: " Love Island. It starts tonight.. I'm quite shocked this show is still on air to be honest. "I was on it 8 years ago, and in that 8 years I've turned pain into purpose and used my platform for good. "Within the 8 years that have passed I've had to hit rockbottom to find a strength I never knew I had - and awaken to the truth of who we are. "However what young Malin didn't know was, how dangerous a show like this is - portraying toxicity as love, unrealistic body standards and women who maybe broken inside but wanting love for the wrong reasons - and thinking fame will save them.. and as for the men - similar things. "We need a show on how to show the world what it looks like to HEAL WITHIN & find love for ourselves first, then finding it in someone else. "We don't need a show making women especially feel bad about themselves - or fuelling eating disorders. That's outdated now. It's not it." Malin found fame on the second series of Love Island in 2016, spending 24 days in the villa where she was partnered with Terry Walsh. Though she's synonymous with the show, Malin has made it known before she isn't a fan. She previously told Bobby Norris on Fubar Radio: "I've not watched it. I haven't watched a single episode. I didn't even watch my own series. "From what I can see the format is the same and it's like the luggage belt at the airport arrivals and they're just spinning out the same characters. It's the same old bag every time. It sounds really bad.' She continued: 'I think Love Island has had its day a long time ago. And I think for the younger generation, there could be more put out there. I think all we're seeing now is a lot of dating shows.' Mum Malin recalled her obsession in the villa with viewers' perception of her appearance. She likened the experience to Jim Carrey 's classic film, The Truman Show, in which his character is the central figure in a reality construct he has no idea about. 'I remember being in the villa and I kept asking the producers 'are there any bad comments about my weight?'" she said. "That's all I cared about. 'Are there any comments calling me fat?' That's all I remember asking them. "They would say no to everything. You're in the Truman show in there. It is literally like a bubble. No time, they tell you when to eat, when to sleep. It's such a different false reality." ITV has been contacted for comment. Love Island continues tonight at 9pm on ITV2 and ITVX. Love Island's duty of care Pre Filming and Filming - Registered mental health professional engaged throughout the whole series - from pre-filming to aftercare. - Thorough pre-filming psychological and medical assessments including assessments by an independent doctor, psychological consultant and reports from each Islander's own GP to check medical history. - Potential Islanders are required to fully disclose in confidence any medical history that would be relevant to their inclusion in the Villa and the production's ability to provide a suitable environment for them. - Managing cast expectations: detailed explanations both verbally and in writing of the implications, both positive and negative, of taking part in the series are given to potential cast members throughout the casting process and reinforced within the contract so it is clear. - Cast are told they should consider all the potential implications of taking part in the show and work through this decision-making process in consultation with their family and those closest to them, to ensure they feel it is right for them. - Senior Team on the ground have received training in Mental Health First Aid. - A welfare team solely dedicated to the Islanders both during the show and after. Aftercare - Bespoke training on dealing with social media and advice on finance and adjusting to life back home. - A minimum of eight therapy sessions will be offered to each Islander when they return home. - Proactive contact with Islanders for a period of 14 months after the series in which they have appeared has ended, with additional help provided where applicable. - We encourage Islanders to secure management to represent them after the show and manage them should they choose to take part in other TV shows, advertising campaigns or other public appearance opportunities. ITV's support for Mental Health In 2019 ITV selected mental health as the main focus for its on air health campaigns aimed at its viewers. ITV partnered with Mind and YoungMinds, alongside SAMH in Scotland, and Ant and Dec launched the Britain Get Talking campaign in Britain's Got Talent, with the aim of encouraging 10m people to take action to support their mental or physical health by 2023. Since it launched, Britain Get Talking has resulted in over 100 million more meaningful conversations, and in 2022 ITV announced a further target of encouraging 200 million actions for better health by the end of 2023. Alongside Britain Get Talking, ITV has a mental wellbeing initiative aimed at a younger demographic in partnership with mental health charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). In 2022 it encouraged 1.8m young people to take action to feel better able to cope with life's ups and downs through the campaign ' What Gets You Through '. ITV's Mental Health Advisory Group, chaired by Ruth Davidson with members including CEOs of mental health charities Mind, YoungMinds and SAMH, provides guidance and support on all aspects of ITV, and STV's, approach to mental health and wellbeing among its people, production teams, participants in its shows and audiences. ITV also hosted the Mental Health in the Media conference in March 2023, bringing writers, producers, duty of care professionals, brands and broadcasters together to explore best practice around mental wellbeing on screen and behind the screens. 4 4 4
