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The Guardian
5 days ago
- General
- The Guardian
My mentor and friend died suddenly while I was at work. The memory of his kindness kept me going
We are going through the list of overnight admissions when my phone beeps. Expecting a medical request to do something or see someone, my chest cramps at the message. I must be sufficiently distracted for the trainee to ask, 'All OK?' It's a split-second decision. My instinct is to blurt out that an old friend has died and I need time out. But this would inevitably incur an explanation causing the ward round to be consumed by sympathy for me instead of care for our patients. So, I muster the pretence to say, 'Just keep going', convincing myself this is what Mike would have wanted. Mike and I met more than 30 years ago. Medical student admissions are a multifaceted thing but I like to think that he was the administrator who 'let' me in. More accurately, he was the one who told me years later that after several rounds of offers, there was just one remaining spot and many deserving students but maybe the universe had spoken and I squeezed in. Getting into medicine would turn out to be the most consequential event of my life. The next year, Mike gave me my first job, the task of settling the nerves of the medical students who were appearing for their interview like I did once. It was a decidedly plum job; paid hours, free sandwiches and real orange juice. But even better was Mike introducing me to a fellow student, G. 'I think you will get along' turned out to be a singular understatement when I think about the bounties of our close friendship, which now embraces five children. Like other students, I stayed in touch with Mike because he was interested in what medical students did with their lives after the coveted degree. He attended my wedding and brought my children thoughtful gifts when he came to dinner. He was there for the celebrations and the lamentations, when they came. Fifteen years ago, driving home from a routine work day, Mike suffered a devastating stroke. I remember dashing to intensive care where he was expected to succumb. Miraculously and, in part, due to his relatively young age, he survived every complication and was discharged to the stroke unit, the place of my worst memories. Here, Mike was often insensate and when awake had no meaningful use of limb or language. The nurses were caring but the loss of his dignity was scathing. I would sit there stunned by the blow of fate, hoping he recognised me. Defying predictions, Mike not only survived his hospital ordeal but also emerged largely cognitively intact. However, his physical needs necessitated admission to a nursing home. My standout memory from the nursing home was that his only window to the outside had an opaque coating. It made him miserable and even the staff couldn't explain its existence as it was not related to privacy. Over months, Mike and I appealed to the management to allow him a glimpse of the sun, sky and trees, all in vain. After that dashed hope, I resorted to simpler ways of 'helping' by asking what kind of sushi he wanted. At least, that was always under our control. But we never stopped talking about his desire to get out of the nursing home. In service of his dream, he was diligent with physiotherapy and continued to train his brain. I knew plenty of people who yearned to leave residential care but none successfully. It took the best part of two years and a mountain of paperwork and advocacy from his valiant sister to get Mike back into his own home. That was a remarkable day. With sophisticated modifications and dutiful caregivers, Mike's life was again illuminated by friends, theatre, and current affairs. When we visited him and found him content, I told my children that Mike's transformation was also a testament to a society which had painstakingly restored dignity to an individual in circumstances where it would have been far easier to let him languish in residential care. This really was exemplary disability care in the community. I found it especially instructive to witness the loyalty of his childhood friends whose interest in him seemed unaffected by his limitations. They were a living reminder of the adage that if you have one true friend you have more than your fair share. As Mike acquired a social life, our interactions slowed. But I was always delighted when he couldn't see me because he had other plans – there had been many intervening years of drought. Some weeks ago, I sent him an email proposing lunch, never imagining that it would only be read by his sister undertaking the heartache of posthumously sifting through his affairs. Now she tells me that Mike, after enjoying a holiday, presented to hospital with sudden and fatal deterioration. There had been no time to let anyone know that he was dying. It is difficult for me to absorb the shock all at once but Mike's sister says something very generous – that in his years of greatest need, I was like a daughter to him. I will never know it for sure, but the thought itself is a lovely consolation. Mike was one of the people who derived personal satisfaction from my enjoyment of medicine. My friend, G, became a role model for honouring our relationships despite the demands of life. Who would understand the significance of this sudden loss? G is the first person I text. I picture Mike's satisfaction that the two of us, brought together by him, stop to reflect on a life and legacy that couldn't have been scripted, at least not by two doctors. Ranjana Srivastava is an Australian oncologist, award-winning author and Fulbright scholar. Her latest book is called A Better Death
Independent Singapore
27-05-2025
- Business
- Independent Singapore
‘Should I ask for an increment after probation?' — Fresh hire wonders if he should ask for a salary raise after his boss increased his workload
SINGAPORE: A fresh hire who's been putting in more than his fair share of effort at work took to Reddit to ask if it's appropriate to request a pay raise after completing his probation. In a post shared on the r/askSingapore subreddit, the man explained that although his probation period is officially three months, it is common in his department for it to be extended to six. He also heard from colleagues that many don't pass probation due to the high expectations and stressful environment. Despite that, he feels optimistic about his chances. With just two weeks left in probation, he shared that his hiring director has praised him for learning quickly and performing well above expectations. 'She also started giving me more responsibilities and workload that is beyond what a trainee should be handling,' he added, noting that a fellow trainee who joined later is doing the bare minimum in comparison. The man also shared that he had asked for a salary slightly above the listed range during his interview. While he was ultimately offered S$200 less than his expected figure, it was still a raise compared to his previous job. However, his offer letter didn't mention a pay adjustment after confirmation, nor was it brought up in any discussion. Now, as his confirmation approaches, he wonders if it's appropriate to ask for a salary bump or if doing so would come across as pushy. 'Should I ask for an increment after my confirmation, even if they already pay me higher than the listed salary range?' he asked his fellow users. 'Will I leave a bad impression if my request fails (kinda risky)? When is the best time to ask? Before or after confirmation? Face-to-face or via text?' 'If you really want to, go for it.' Many users in the comments advised him to wait before requesting a pay raise. They pointed out that since he is already earning more than the advertised salary range for the role, asking for an increment so soon after probation might come across as hasty or overly eager. One user said, 'It really sounds very entitled. It's three months….I am sure some people have worked there three, five, seven, or 10 years. I think it's more appropriate for someone with that length of service to start asking.' Another commented, 'I wouldn't. Typically, there won't be any increment after probation since it's only a short period of time; companies usually do increments once or twice a year after your performance review cycle ends.' Still, there were others who felt that the man should at least broach the topic with his supervisor, so he wouldn't have any regrets down the line. One wrote, 'If you really want to, go for it; it's better than regretting that you didn't or thinking of 'what if I did.'' Another shared, 'I've had salary increments after probation in two of the previous companies that I've worked in; it wasn't stated inside the contracts, but I just asked because the ones managing me seemed quite satisfied with my work. It doesn't hurt to ask even if it wasn't negotiated. It's up to them whether they want to grant it or not.' When to ask for a pay raise According to recruitment agency Michael Page, it's usually best for employees to wait at least six months before asking for a pay raise. The agency also explains that a salary increase should generally only be discussed if someone feels they're being 'underpaid' for the role or if they've been consistently putting in strong work that goes above and beyond what's expected. Read also: Woman 'feels stuck after graduation' as she's been jobless for 6 months, says, 'I have applied to countless roles, even approached job agencies' Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)
New York Times
07-05-2025
- General
- New York Times
How Lost Radar and Silent Radios Have Upended Newark Air Travel
On a recent afternoon in Philadelphia, an air traffic controller began shouting that he had lost his radar feed for planes flying in and out of Newark Liberty International Airport. Some of his colleagues still had radar but their radios went dead, prompting frantic calls to their counterparts in New York urging them to keep their planes away from Newark's airspace. Then, for 30 harrowing seconds until the radios came back, there was nothing more to do but hope — as they had no means of telling pilots how to avoid crashing their planes into one another. Shortly after that, one controller discovered a trainee, who had been directing Newark traffic under supervision just moments earlier, shaking in the hallway.
