Times Concise No 9918 The Times & The Sunday Times
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Daily Mail
31 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Barking up the wrong trees: RHS visitors left howling over trial that lets in dogs to garden
Royal Horticultural Society chiefs have been hounded by members – over opening its gardens to dogs for the first time. Visitors of RHS Rosemoor in Torrington, Devon, are now able to walk their pet on short leads three days a week. But at the annual general meeting held at Rosemoor, top brass were dogged by complaints about the trial being a stepping stone to introducing the same policy across other RHS gardens. Members' misgivings included accounts of children being licked by dogs and wildlife such as dormice being killed. An outraged member said: 'I am not against people having dogs but... we have a lot of vulnerable people and children who come here.' She added that providing bags and scoopers for dog poo would 'change the atmosphere'. Another member said: 'I have unfortunately come across dead dormice where I have actually seen the dog ahead of me kill it. 'We are guardians of these grounds and every plant, animal, insect and that's why I am concerned about these dog days.' One member has also threatened to cancel her membership if dog days are made permanent at the end of the trial. RHS president Keith Weed told the AGM the trial would be closely monitored until September before any decision is made. He said: 'The great thing about a trial is to learn from it. We had this debate at the last AGM and it was a bit noisier from those in favour of dogs.' Dogs are not currently allowed in most RHS gardens, except for at planned 'walkie' events. Under the trial at Rosemoor, dogs under the control of owners on a short lead are permitted on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays in specific areas. But there is a strict 'paws on paths' policy and restricted zones such as the children's play area and the vegetable gardens. The six-month trial comes after the RHS commissioned Monty Don to create a dog-friendly garden for the Chelsea Flower Show – the first time the BBC Gardeners' World presenter had designed a space at the event. Don took his beloved golden retriever Ned to try out his garden's features for dogs, including a lawn, water to wallow in and trees to cast shade. It also followed a National Trust plan to install 'wee poles' to prevent dogs from urinating on trees and historic buildings at some sites. High amounts of dog urine can increase the acidity of the soil and affect plants and the surrounding environment, the Trust said.
The Sun
31 minutes ago
- The Sun
Sex I had with my brother haunts me and I'm so worried history will repeat itself I can't leave my own kids together
DEAR DEIDRE: THE inappropriately close relationship I had with my brother is now ruining my experience of motherhood. I'm so scared that history will repeat itself that I can't leave my young children alone together, and I panic when they touch each other. When I was 17 and my brother was 18, we had a secret relationship — which I instigated. What started as naive, teenage experimentation turned into an incestuously sexual relationship, which lasted until I left home. I've never told a soul about it, and neither has he. It wasn't abusive but we are both aware it was socially unacceptable and against the law, and feel ashamed of what happened. I can't explain it, except to say that we were brought up in a strictly religious household where sex was considered to be a sin. Neither of us was allowed to date or go out to parties and the like. We were also exceptionally close, perhaps because we were so near to each other in age, without many friends. I'm now 39 and married with two young children — a boy and a girl who are six and four. He's still single. We're still in touch but we don't talk about the past. I didn't dwell on it until my daughter became a toddler, and began to interact with her brother. Spotting the signs your partner is cheating Suddenly, I felt terrified of what might occur if I didn't prevent it. I started keeping my kids apart, making them play alone in their rooms. If I see them play-fighting, I pull them apart. My husband is starting to notice. I know this isn't normal, and I worry it's harming their development. Please help. All I want is for my children to have a happy, ordinary childhood. DEIDRE SAYS: You're brave to admit what happened and to ask for help. You're not a bad person. Clearly you love your children and don't want to damage them. But, as you're aware, it's important they are allowed to interact normally. What occurred between you and your brother was unusual – though not unheard of – and it's very unlikely history will repeat itself, especially if your children aren't brought up in the strictly religious way you were. It sounds like you may be more traumatised by what happened – and more guilty about it – than you'd allowed yourself to believe. Speaking about this to people who understand and won't judge will help you. You can talk in confidence to (0808 800 5000). You would also benefit from counselling. Read my support pack, How Counselling Can Help. PAL HAS CROSSED THE LINE DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend never liked how close I was to my male mate, but I told him it was platonic. Now I'm worried his fear was well-founded, after my friend crossed a line. I'm 29, my partner is 30 and we've been together two years. My pal and I have known each other since uni. We'd meet for drinks or text about music and life – nothing flirty. My boyfriend didn't love it but I told him there he had nothing to fear. Yet a few nights ago, when my friend walked me home after a gig, without warning he grabbed me and kissed me on the mouth. I pushed him away and told him he was out of order. He just shrugged and said he 'had to try'. I told my boyfriend immediately – but instead of supporting me, he called me a cheat and stormed out. I'm upset at how they've both behaved. How can I get life back on track? You can contact (0808 168 9111), who can offer free, confidential help. You did the right thing by being honest with your boyfriend, but his reaction isn't fair or helpful. Jealousy can be painful, but it shouldn't lead to unfair accusations. Consider having a calm conversation when he's ready, explaining how his response to this situation has made you feel. PORN AND BISEXUAL CONFUSION DEAR DEIDRE: MY addiction to inter-racial porn is stopping me from developing relationships. I think I need help but I don't know what sort. I am a 25-year-old man. I have dated women but I have never had a sex life. The first few times I attempted sex were a complete failure and an embarrassment so I stopped trying. I then discovered porn and I find it suits me best to watch it. I am a white guy but I especially like watching white women with black men. It literally makes me stop in my tracks if I am out in the street and I see a white woman and a black man together. I know full well that my addiction is preventing me from developing relationships. I am worried that I might be bisexual too, as I can be turned on by both men and women. I am so confused. DEIDRE SAYS: Online porn is designed to be addictive and it is brave of you to admit to having a problem. My support packs Internet Pornography Worry? and Addicted To Sex have lots of information about this and on where you can turn for help. The best way to try to understand more about your sexuality is to talk through your feelings with someone who understands. Contact (0300 330 0630) for confidential advice and my support pack, Bisexual Questions, will help you, too. WIFE'S DOGS ARE RUINING MY LIFE DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife has just bought another dog after we had to have two rehomed a year ago because the neighbours complained about the noise they made. They wouldn't stop barking if we left them on their own and were still pretty noisy even when one of us was there. I am 44 and my wife is 39. We have been together for ten years. We both work full time and are often out in the evening, so the dogs were left alone for quite long periods on our work days. One of our neighbours became very aggressive when he complained about the noise. He swore at me and my wife and threatened us. It was a very stressful time and in the end it really got to me – the constant barking of the dogs, the rows I was having with my wife about it and then this neighbour having a go at me every time I went outside. One day I ended up in a fight with this guy when he saw me in the nearby pub – all because of the dogs. The police were called to break it up. After that, the only option I could see was that the dogs had to be rehomed. My wife was very much against it and still resents me for making it happen. I thought that was the end of it, but she has now spent money which we can't afford on a puppy. She didn't even ask my opinion. I arrived home one evening to find the dog in our kitchen. Worse still, even though it cries all night she is talking about getting another one. I wish she could see what it's doing to me. DEIDRE SAYS: She is disregarding your feelings. You need to talk to her and explain how hurtful her behaviour is. Things can be different this time but your wife needs to understand the puppy needs proper training. You can talk to the vet for advice on classes. Your puppy also needs plenty of exercise once it is old enough. The result will be a happier, more settled dog and your neighbours will benefit, too.
Times
an hour ago
- Times
The price of peace seems high in an occupied city
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