logo
My money rule to avoid arguments with my housemates and girlfriend – it's fair but not everyone will agree

My money rule to avoid arguments with my housemates and girlfriend – it's fair but not everyone will agree

Scottish Suna day ago

We also reveal tips from a financial therapist on how to avoid rows over money
BILL-IANT My money rule to avoid arguments with my housemates and girlfriend – it's fair but not everyone will agree
THERE'S nothing more British than the silence at the end of a meal in a restaurant as you wait for someone to say how you'll split the bill.
With my mates and girlfriend there's an unwritten rule that we always split the bill equally based on how many of us there are.
Advertisement
1
Consumer Reporter Sam Walker's easy trick avoids money-based arguments
Of course, this can get tricky if someone hasn't had booze or a much cheaper meal, as it can feel like they've got a raw deal.
On the other hand, there's always one in every friendship group who orders an extra side and pudding.
I can't help but feel a bit resentful that I'm funding their extra indulgence.
So I wasn't surprised to hear that the number one issue that couples row about is money, according to Royal London.
Advertisement
It gets even more complicated when you go on holiday.
I've often found myself in scenarios with mates where people have taken umbrage at having to split the cost of a night out the day after.
Other times people have kicked up a fuss about splitting the cost of off the cuff activities.
The bill splitting app I swear by
A few years ago on a weekend away with University mates where we play sport, including football, cricket and rounders, one of my friends suggested we use Splitwise.
Advertisement
We were trying to figure out how to share the cost of all the food and drink we'd bought when one friend recommended using the app.
It's free to download off the Apple App Store or Google Play and couldn't be easier to navigate.
There's also a Pro version which costs £3.99 a month or £39.99 a year, letting you add an unlimited number of expenses and scan and add receipts to a running your running total.
Once downloaded, you create a new group (of friends, family or between you and a partner) and can allocate a "type" to that group.
Advertisement
For example, you can make it a "trip", "home" or "couple"-based group.
Once you've done this, you add any expenses to the group and can decide how it's split between the members.
The options are:
you paid, split equally
you are owed the full amount
someone else paid, split equally
someone else paid and is owed the full amount
Once you've added any expenses, they are added to a grand total which tells you whether you owe money, or are owed it.
Advertisement
How it has made my life easier
Splitwise has easily become one of my most-used apps, especially since moving in with my partner a year ago.
We use it to split the cost of the weekly food shop, monthly utility bills and takeaways.
You might ask "why would you need a bill-splitting app" for these basic expenses, but in reality it's a lifesaver.
Her job involves shift work and I work occasional weekends meaning we can sometimes go days without having a proper conversation.
Advertisement
So being able to quickly add a little Tesco Express basket of food or a holiday car rental cost to the app in a matter of seconds, and know how much each person owes, makes for a much more efficient way of tracking our shared expenses.
Using the app for trips abroad with friends has been incredibly helpful as well, especially with larger groups.
I've used it on stag dos where costs can quickly add up and various members of the group have different budgets and need to track how much they've spent.
Putting everything through the app can avoid awkward conversations where you ask for a few quid back.
Advertisement
It might seem stingy that I'm quibbling with my girlfriend and mates over a couple of quid - but it can quickly add up and it really helps us all feel like things are fair.
Other apps you could use
Unsurprisingly, Splitwise is not the only bill-splitting app out there.
There is also Settle Up which also comes in a basic free version and works similarly to Splitwise.
You can also pay £3.99 a month for Premium which comes with no ads, charts and lets you scan receipts.
Advertisement
The app comes with a 4.8* rating on the Apple App Store, compared with 3.8* for Splitwise.
Splid is another option which comes with no ads even in the free version.
You can also choose to add expenses in 150 currencies while on the Apple App Store reviews show it with a 4.9* rating.
Then there's acasa, which unlike Splid, Settle Up and Splitwise, lets you pay bills like council tax directly through the app.
Advertisement
It's free to download and comes with a 4.5* customer rating on the Apple App Store.
How to avoid finance-based tension in relationships
WE spoke to Vicky Reynal, financial psychotherapist, who shared her tips for avoiding arguments over money:
Don't assume that everyone has the same money values
People have different views when it comes to money: what's frugal or excessive, what's too risky vs. responsible, what's reasonable or petty.
We can't assume that others will see what's right or fair the same way we'll see it come up all the time because we all have different views on what money is for and how it should be used.
When conflict comes up, be curious not attacking
When couples or close friends clash over money, the most powerful thing they can do is create a safe space for honest conversations - free from blame.
Instead of trying to convince the other that they are wrong and you are right, try to be curious about why they might be seeing things their way and share how you feel about it.
It can be helpful – particularly when couples have very different ways of handling money – to ask: 'What are the downsides of my approach to money?' and 'What are the upsides of theirs?'
As an example, your caution might protect your future, but your partner's spontaneity might help you live more fully in the present.
Once you begin appreciating each other's perspectives, it becomes easier to blend approaches and make collaborative financial decisions.
Never rely on assumptions - be crystal clear in your financial agreements
Common sources of conflict I see involve informal financial arrangements among loved ones: 'I thought it was a gift—now they're asking for it back.' 'I thought we were splitting the cost evenly'.
The real issue usually lies in the lack of clarity from the start. People often avoid being specific because they don't want to make things 'weird' with someone they care about—but it's precisely because you care that it's essential to set clear, unambiguous expectations.
Use financial tools and apps thoughtfully
Apps like Splitwise or Monzo's shared tabs can be great tools for transparency but it's best when they are introduced early and used consistently.
If you bring them in after tension has built, they can sometimes feel accusatory. Frame their use as a shared effort to be fair, not to keep score or place blame.
If conflict persists, look at the bigger picture
What I mean by this is that sometimes money conflict is not about money at all. Sometimes a friend making a big deal about £7 you owe them could actually be feeling owed a lot more (has she felt you have been a neglecting friend lately?).
A partner who is uncomfortable because you spent 'too much' on a gift might be feeling they don't have enough to give you emotionally in the relationship.
The point is: ask yourself whether there is a different message that you or the other are trying to convey through this financial conflict.
Do you have a money problem that needs sorting? Get in touch by emailing money-sm@news.co.uk.
Plus, you can join our Sun Money Chats and Tips Facebook group to share your tips and stories

Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

City centre restaurant with Gordon Ramsay trained chef crowned ‘Scotland's best'
City centre restaurant with Gordon Ramsay trained chef crowned ‘Scotland's best'

Scottish Sun

timean hour ago

  • Scottish Sun

City centre restaurant with Gordon Ramsay trained chef crowned ‘Scotland's best'

Read on to discover if you've dined in one of the UK's best spots Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) SCOTLAND'S best food spot has been crowned at a prestigious industry bash. Lyla in Edinburgh - helmed by a Gordon Ramsay-trained chef - was handed the plaudit from the National Restaurant Awards. Sign up for Scottish Sun newsletter Sign up 4 Chef Stuart Ralston's restaurant was crowned the best in Scotland Credit: Justin Rodrigues 4 Chef Ralston and the team accept a Michelin star outside the Edinburgh food spot Credit: Lyla/Instagram 4 The Ritz bagged first place on the list compiled by National Restaurant Awards Credit: Getty The ceremony celebrates the best of British grub as it compiles the country's top 100 places to eat. And Lyla, the brainchild of chef Stuart Ralston, bagged 17th place alongside the crème de la crème of culinary excellence. The Ritz in Mayfair, London scooped first place, Restaurant Moor Hall in Lancashire was second while The Ledbury in Notting Hill, London took home the bronze medal. Triumphant chef Ralston said: 'We are immensely proud and grateful to have been voted Scotland's best restaurant, and for coming 17th in the top 100 in the UK. 'Thank you, National Restaurant Awards for this accolade and to our incredible staff who have worked so hard to make it a possibility.' Ralston once gained experience working in Gordon Ramsay's Michelin-starred restaurant in New York. NATIONAL RESTAURANT AWARDS - TOP 20 The Ritz, London: The top-ranked restaurant, a renowned establishment in Mayfair. Moor Hall, Aughton: A three-Michelin-starred restaurant in Lancashire. The Ledbury, Notting Hill, London: Known for its innovative and refined fine dining experience. Trinity, Clapham, London: A popular restaurant offering modern British cuisine. Bouchon Racine, Clerkenwell, London: Renowned for its expertly crafted French bistro classics. OMA, Southwark, London: A new entrant to the list, known for its chic, Greek-inspired tapas. AngloThai, Marylebone, London: A restaurant celebrating the fusion of Anglo and Thai cuisines. Osip, Bruton, Somerset: Known for its focus on sustainability and local ingredients. Ynyshir, Machynlleth, Powys: A previous winner, known for its unique and idiosyncratic approach to dining. Dorian, Notting Hill, London: A restaurant offering a diverse and flavorful menu. Mountain, Soho, London: Known for its modern take on classic dishes. The Devonshire, Soho, London: A gastropub with a strong focus on locally sourced ingredients. Kiln, Soho, London: A restaurant known for its vibrant and creative dishes. Restaurant Gordon Ramsay, Chelsea, London: A highly acclaimed fine dining establishment. Woven by Adam Smith: Located at Coworth Park, known for its service and food quality. Ikoyi, Covent Garden, London: A restaurant offering a unique and innovative dining experience. Lyla, Edinburgh: A restaurant celebrating Scottish cuisine. A Wong, Victoria, London: Known for its modern and innovative take on Cantonese cuisine. Da Terra, Bethnal Green, London: A restaurant offering a dynamic and creative dining experience. Brooklands by Claude Bosi, Knightsbridge, London: A restaurant offering a refined and elegant dining experience. In 2023, the award-winning chef opened Lyla in premises once occupied by Paul Kitching's influential 21212 on Royal Terrace. The 28-cover restaurant, billed by Ralston as 'unapologetically fine dining', received a Michelin star in February 2025. The National Restaurant Awards this week commented: 'Lyla is not a fish restaurant per se but is fish-focused, with the majority of the courses on its tasting menu seafood-based. 'With just 10 tables to worry about (and a maximum party size of four), Ralston has been able to up the culinary ante significantly. Gordon Ramsay reveals customers are using BATHROOMS in new skyscraper restaurant for X-rated acts "His previous flagship Aizle has 50 covers – delivering picture-perfect dishes that demonstrate good technique while still allowing his high-quality ingredients to do the talking.' Elsewhere in Edinburgh, The Little Chartroom ranked at number 79 while nearby The Palmerston came in at 97th place.

EXCLUSIVE British high society tycoon, 65, is found dead at his luxury villa in Marbella after returning from Italian car rally
EXCLUSIVE British high society tycoon, 65, is found dead at his luxury villa in Marbella after returning from Italian car rally

Daily Mail​

timean hour ago

  • Daily Mail​

EXCLUSIVE British high society tycoon, 65, is found dead at his luxury villa in Marbella after returning from Italian car rally

A British high society tycoon has been found dead at his luxury villa in Marbella, MailOnline has learned. Tarik Wildman, 65, was found dead just hours after returning from a car rally in Italy. A close friend told MailOnline that he died on Sunday at his home in the upmarket and gated La Virginia complex. He said all signs point to natural causes being behind the death, but that an autopsy will shed more light on what happened. MailOnline has contacted the local police and authorities in Marbella for comment. Wildman's American father was Frederick Wildman Jnr., son of Frederick Wildman Snr, who founded the family's wine empire in the 1950s. Frederick Wildman & Sons exports wines and champagne from France to the US and remains a multi-million dollar business. Wildman's British mother, the late Hon Corinna Cunliffe, was a famous fashion magazine editor and the daughter of a baron. Three portraits of her hang in London's National Portrait Gallery. He was also married Susan O'Reilllly, daughter of the late Sir Anthony O'Reilly, from one of Ireland's most prominent families. It is thought he had British, American and Irish citizenship. Tarik's friend from the Classic and Sports Car Club of Andalucia (CSCCA) wrote: 'It is with the utmost sadness that I have to report the death today of my great friend and CSCCA stalwart, Tarik Wildman. 'He had just returned from organising and running his Team Schh rally in Italy which he had done in his beautiful Lancia Flamina, a car he loved. 'He died peacefully in his sleep but, at this moment, the cause is not known. 'He had amazing friends all over the world, had competed in the Monte Carlo Classic rally and had a depth of knowledge of all things that always astonished me. 'His passion for life in general and motoring in particular was something that others could only envy. 'To all his amazing friends, to Susy, his wife and to all the family left behind our heartfelt sympathies go out to you. 'Tarik, you were taken too soon and I for one am going to really miss you. 'The world here will never see the like and will never be the same again. RIP Tarik Wildman, a legend and a titan.' Tarik was known to be a speed freak rally driver and a vintage car enthusiast - and once filmed himself driving 190mph in North Africa. Former model and current writer and campaigner Kristiane Backer said: 'We are all devastated and desperate to hear what happened, Tarik was a party animal and such a force of nature, a kind, thoughtful man… I was due to see him soon , it is very sad'. US TV presenter Ingrid Hoffmann shared a photo of Tarik with her and wrote a fond tribute. She wrote: 'Thank you for being a stand up kind and generous friend, host extraordinaire, creator, planner, navigator and pilot to the most fun adventures and Team Shhhh rally's. 'I am going to miss you and the days and nights spend cooking, talking, drinking, driving and telling stories at your Marbella "La Virginia" and Casa Hombre Salvaje center of the universe of all things fun. 'Capileira that little house above the clouds you loved so much and took all of your friends so we could love it too. Grateful for all the cast of characters now friends you introduced me too. You always wanted all of us to be friends. You leave behind a beautiful family a bigger than life legacy. 'I will miss your naughty spirit, history lessons, poetry, writings, waking all up to beautiful classical music.' Tarik was a well-connected figure, whose friends included the Duke of Rutlands ex-mistress Andrea Webb and the Hon Alexandra Foley.

Bus users protected from price hikes as Rachel Reeves gives update on £3 cap
Bus users protected from price hikes as Rachel Reeves gives update on £3 cap

Daily Mirror

timean hour ago

  • Daily Mirror

Bus users protected from price hikes as Rachel Reeves gives update on £3 cap

Rachel Reeves is expected to extend the nationwide price cap on single trips for bus passengers in the Spending Review - which was due to run out at the end of the year Bus passengers will be protected from fare hikes as the £3 cap on single tickets is set to be extended. In a major boost for bus users, Chancellor Rachel Reeves is expected to protect the nationwide price cap on single trips, which had been due to run out at the end of the year. The cost-of-living lifeline will now be in place across England until March 2027, the Mirror understands. ‌ Single fares could rise by up to £12 in the worst hit areas if the cap is lifted. The Department for Transport previously said a journey between Leeds and Scarborough could cost £15, while a fare from Hull to York would hit £8.50. ‌ The decision, which will be confirmed in the Spending Review on Wednesday, is a major boost to millions of Brits who rely on buses every day. A Treasury source told the Mirror: 'We understand the cost of living is a priority for the British people. That is why we are investing in Britain's renewal to make working people better off. Rachel Reeves' Spending Review major predictions on what will and won't be in it 'That's why we're keeping bus fares down by extending the £3 cap to put more money in people's pockets.' The cap covers around 5,000 bus routes across England, costing the Treasury around £150million a year to keep fares at £3. The Tories previously introduced a £2 cap on bus fares but only provided funding until the end of 2024. Last year, Keir Starmer said it would rise to £3 for 2025 but its future was uncertain beyond the end of this year. ‌ A Government source said: "Buses provide lifeline access to opportunity for people across the country. "Keeping fares affordable is a top priority for the Transport Secretary, as our landmark Buses Bill overhauls how services are delivered. Better buses are around the corner with Labour." The Chancellor will unveil plans to splash tens of billions of pounds on public services such as the NHS, defence and schools over the next three years in the long-awaited Spending Review on Wednesday. ‌ But other departments are expected to feel the squeeze, with cuts looming to unprotected areas such as local government and the Home Office. Ministers have been locked in fraught negotiations for months over their budgets. The final settlement for the Home Office was only signed off on Monday after a row with Home Secretary Yvette Cooper over cash for policing. ‌ Ms Reeves will also announce funding for infrastructure investment, including big ticket items like road, rail and energy projects. She will confirm changes to Treasury rules to make it easier to pour cash into projects outside of London and the South East. It comes after a blitz of announcements, including some £15.6 billion of spending on public transport in England's city regions, and £16.7 billion for nuclear power projects, the bulk of which will fund the new Sizewell C plant in Suffolk. Ms Reeves also confirmed on Monday that some 9 million pensioners would be eligible for the winter fuel allowance this year after backtracking on the unpopular decision to strip the benefit from all but the poorest pensioners. The Government also announced plans to expand free school meals eligibility to another 500,000 children whose families get Universal Credit, in a major win for the Mirror's campaign to end hunger in classrooms.

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into the world of global news and events? Download our app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store