I need to read smut before I'm able to have sex with my husband

Metro

21 hours ago

'I finished the Fourth Wing books and now I'm following on with ACOTAR,' writes Jayne*. 'Me and my husband have been having sex at least four times a week.'
The confession was shared on the Dead Bedrooms forum on Reddit, a support group for those who are in relationships 'lacking in sexual intimacy'.
In her post, Jayne explains that reading Rebecca Yarros' bestselling Empyrean series awoke something within her.
For years, the 34-year-old struggled with a low libido and was 'constantly' rejecting her husband's sexual advances, until she came across the spicy scenes in Fourth Wing, a fantasy romance book that follows the journey of dragon riders at a war college.
'Something in me turned on,' she explained. 'It was like a switch, I couldn't believe it. I almost believed I was asexual and then this book appeared in my life and… WOW. I was reading at night with my husband by my side and I woke him up!'
'He didn't understand anything at first, but now I think these kinds of books might actually save my marriage.
'Yesterday we had sex two times and it was AWESOME. This is a lot considering last year maybe we had sex three times, I feel like a teenager again. I want to regain all this lost time.'
This is a feeling Clare*, 42, from London knows only too well, as she tells Metro that erotic fiction has been central to her entire relationship with sex. She had her first orgasm aged 21 thanks to fiction on the page.
Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom?
Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us!
'Nothing in real life had ever done anything for me before and porn hadn't worked either,' she says.
'Men are often just ready to go the moment they think about sex and for many women it doesn't work that way. For me, leaving the day to day of this world behind and moving into a space where I can comfortably think about sexuality is difficult.
'I can't turn my ADHD brain off, but the books help with that and offer an escape.'
Clare has been with her partner for 13 years, but she's never told him that she needs to read a steamy scene in a book to get in the mood.
'He knows I need to be extremely relaxed and calm to have sex, but he doesn't really know what's going on. He's very alpha and I don't think he'd like the idea of me engaging in a fantasy that isn't specific to him.
'We once had a conversation about desire and he got really annoyed. He couldn't understand why I had to think so much about sex and kept asking if he turned me on or not, but it's nothing to do with that.
'It's all to do with where my body and mind are at that moment and the only way for me to get in the right mindset is to have a very rich fantasy life going on in my head, so much so that it takes me away from the constant to do list and chatter that lives inside my brain.'
As for what type of books she reads, Clare's open to anything and everything. She's a big fan of the website Literotica, but will also indulge in Outlander-style stuff as well as Young Adult fiction.
'I'm not specific to one type of fiction, it can be anything as long as it tantalizes my brain and excites the rest of my body,' she adds.
And Clare and Jayne aren't alone in turning the pages to get turned on.
A 2001 study by Harold Leitenberg of The Journal of Sex Research found that women who read romance or erotic novels have 74% more sex with their partners than those who don't.
Similarly, a 2025 survey by Lovehoney and Cint revealed 41% of men and 43% of women had masturbated or had sex after reading a book containing explicit content.
And sex toy manufacturer LELO recently revealed that almost half of Brits (46%) have, at one point or another, been more turned on by reading a steamy scene in a book than by watching porn or interacting with their partner.
Psychotherapist Kate Moyle, LELO's in-house sex expert, believes this could be partly due to the 'focused and engaged' nature of reading.
'In a world full of distractions, technology, and constant notifications, reading allows us to immerse ourselves in a narrative fully,' she explains.
'When this is combined with sexually interesting or erotic content, it can build anticipation — one of our most natural aphrodisiacs. By narrowing our attention on the story, reading plays a critical role in evoking desire and arousal.'
The expert continues: 'Reading also helps create the context for responsive desire, which can be triggered by sexual or erotic stimuli. When the environment feels right, and the brain is exposed to something it finds erotic, this can help shift us from a non-sexual headspace to a sexual mindset.'
Traditionally, spicy books have had a larger female readership, but men are also using smut to boost their sex drive – though some prefer audio erotic storytelling to physical books, with apps like Bloom and Quinn offering users thousands of spicy stories at the touch of a button.
A Bloom user, named Paul, tells Metro how listening to the audios has improved his sex life with his partner of 25 years, helping him become more adventurous in the bedroom.
'I listen to audiobooks on Audible so using Bloom just mirrors how I already consume books and I love that it's a more ethical way to explore porn – it doesn't come at the cost of anyone else's body,' he says.
The 40-year-old listens to erotica two or three times a week, usually in the car home from work, which 'makes the commute home more bearable' and gets him the mood.
'I don't tend to masturbate to it though, it just kind of gets the brain going,' he explains.
'It's made me more aware of the whole experience of sex – it's not just about the visuals. The stories have given me more words to use in the bedroom and provided ideas and scenarios to try.'
Paul things audio porn has the potential to help couple's in a dry spell – especially if they listen together – but his wife isn't keen. More Trending
'My wife doesn't listen to the audios, and I don't listen to them when she's next to me, but I do wish she would give it a try on her own or even together as a couple,' he says.
'To me, it's a good, risk-free thing to try – it can't promote jealousy as the pictures of characters are in your head. The ranch hand will look different to my wife than he looks to me, which is pretty cool.'
Opening up to your partner about changes in your libido, or what turns you on isn't always an easy conversation to have, and for some it could result in feelings of unease.
Annabelle Knight, sex and relationships expert at Lovehoney, told us: 'Smutty books can serve as a bit of a sexual pick-me-up when someone's feeling disconnected from their libido or struggling to get in the mood. There's nothing to be embarrassed about – it's incredibly common.
'That said, when someone's libido is consistently low, it can start to feel frustrating or even a little isolating – especially in a relationship where one partner still has a strong desire for intimacy, while the other might need to rely on stories or imagery.'
The relationship pro says it's 'understandable' that your partner might feel 'a bit unsure or even hurt' when you first discuss libido challenges with them, so it's crucial to reassure them that it's not a reflection of their attractiveness or how much you care about them.
'It's important to remember that low libido often has little to do with your partner and a lot more to do with what's happening mentally, emotionally, or hormonally. Coming from a place of honesty and vulnerability can really help your partner understand that it's not personal – and it can actually bring you closer.'
She recommends starting the conversation gently, by saying something like: 'I've been feeling a bit disconnected from myself lately and reading this helped me feel more in tune with my body again.'
You could even share what's been helping you in an inclusive way, by saying: 'I've found something that's helped me start to feel more in the mood again, and I'd love to explore that with you.'
This will help avoid it feeling 'separate' and instead becomes part of rebuilding intimacy, together.
View More »
*Names have been changed.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [e-mail].
MORE: I walked in on a full-blown porn film being made in my living room — do I move out?
MORE: I called my bride my ex's name at the altar — people are telling her to divorce me
MORE: I'm having the best sex of my life since my husband's gay affair