‘They were steps away from their home': Mother of Pittsford native killed in DC recounts night of her son's death
His mother, Janet, has thought about that night every day since.
'It was a phone call that no parent ever, ever wants to receive, nor should receive,' she said, at a Peace Pole Planting ceremony in his honor Wednesday. 'They could have taken an Uber that night, but I was told by the friend that was with Ryan that they chose to walk home that evening because it was the first snowfall in DC, and they looked out and they saw the beauty in the snow, and it was just trickling down, they said, and they decided that they wanted to walk and experience the snow.'
That beauty, quickly turned to horror when she said Ryan was approached by a gunman on the street.
'They were steps away from their home,' Janet said. 'Ryan didn't have a chance to say, 'Wait a minute. I'll give you money.' Anybody that knows Ryan knows that Ryan would have also given his coat, his shirt, his shoes, whatever else that person wanted, because that was Ryan. I find it really ironic that of all people, it was Ryan, that this person chose to inflict horror on.'
She calls it a senseless act. One that has had a lasting impact on Ryan's family and friends. Janet emphasized the need for community safety.
'What did this act accomplish? Oh, nothing, nothing. He just drove away, senseless,' she said. 'This has been the hardest thing for me to comprehend and for our family to process. Violence can lead to death. Death is final. It's permanent. It's forever. It's a problem with no solution. There's no going back. There's no plan B. There are no options. One split second in your life is forever changed. The life you knew is gone.'
That life — honored Wednesday by the Rotary Club of Pittsford with a Peace Pole Planting. Ryan joined the Rotary-sponsored Interact Club at Pittsford Mendon High School during his freshman year and served on the club's leadership team for the next three years, receiving high praise for his dedication to service. Ryan graduated from PMHS in 2019.
'He was all about love and kindness. Ryan did not have a mean bone in his body. He was all about making the world a better place. He helped and served others whenever he could. It was never about him,' Janet said. 'Ryan was one that truly lived his faith.'
While Janet and her family continue to wrap their heads around what happened to Ryan, they are taking the time to emphasize what they call an overdue need for community safety.
'There are no more phone calls, no more text messages, no more walks, vacations, dinners, watching sports together, watching movies, going for a bike ride on the canal. There are no more new memories. We just carry the pain and the grief daily. No parent should ever have to bury a child due to violence. No brother should have to partake in monumental events without his brother there to share them.'
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