Mom Feels Overwhelmed on Vacation With In-Laws ... So She Leaves. Would You Do the Same?

Yahoo

4 days ago

After 12 days vacationing with her husband's family under one roof, with children ages 6, 4, and 2, Kelly Hubbell reached her breaking point.
The kids were staying in one bedroom, fueled by ice cream and running on barely any sleep. Hubbell, 37, says she spent her days chasing toddlers around a lakefront property in upstate New York, gasping for a moment's breath. To make matters worse, she was sick.
'I was just feeling really overwhelmed,' Hubbell tells TODAY.com.
So, she left — and shared her decision on social media, to mixed reactions.
With less than a week left, Hubbell chose not to stick it out and instead decided to fly back to Oregon. She asked her husband, Shane, to deliver the tough news to his parents that they would all be leaving.
'He was disappointed and I know he felt guilty about it, but he understood,' Hubbell reveals. Her in-laws, whom she says she loves, were less accepting.
'They're taking it personally,' she adds.
Hubbell opened up about the early departure on Instagram, posting a candid video of herself and her kids aboard an airplane. In the post, she acknowledged that while Shane was 'bummed' and his family was still talking about the abrupt exit, she had no regrets about cutting the visit short.
'Despite what mom guilt propaganda might tell you, you ARE allowed to protect your peace,' Hubbell wrote. "(News flash: you don't get a medal for being the 'easygoing' one.) Because when you're running on empty, everyone loses.'
She says that when mom is 'running on empty' the impact ripples through the whole family: Tantrums escalate and joy is harder to come by.
'You're allowed to say: 'This isn't working.' 'I need support.' 'We're going home,'' she continued. 'The only way your family thrives is when you do.'
Hubbell's position struck a nerve, prompting a wider conversation and a wave of mixed reactions. Some applauded her for speaking openly about burnout and boundaries; others viewed her departure as selfish.
'So because you haven't learned to regulate your own emotions as a grown adult, the whole family had to suffer? This isn't a win, ma'am,' one person wrote. Other comments include:
"I've done this twice on both sides of our family. Everyone ends up getting over it! Hurts in the moment but your sanity is most important to keep you and the littles alive.'
'You ruined your kids' trip, your husband's time with his (aging) parents, and made it weird for everyone else... because you were tired? That's not self-care. It's narcissism.'
'I probably would have just said 'all right, your turn' to my husband and then locked myself in a bedroom and read an entire book.'
"Bravo for doing what worked for your family and your sanity."
"It's perfectly acceptable to go home early. It's also OK to just stay home. Moms and parents are allowed to do whatever they need to do to remain sane.'
'On my way home now early from the same situation. Go us.'
For Hubbell, the experience highlighted the need for greater empathy toward families traveling with young children, and the heavy mental load that usually falls on the primary parent, often the mom.
'We were at a six-hour barbecue, and I didn't have the luxury of sitting back with a cocktail and enjoying a grown-up conversation because I was constantly running after my kids,' she says. 'There were so many water hazards, and what I've found is, if everyone's watching your kid, no one really is.'
She's hopeful that her in-laws will eventually sees things from her perspective.
'I adore them. We share so many moments of joy together,' she says. 'But it had become an unhealthy situation, and my anxiety was through the roof. Sometimes, you just have to stop people-pleasing. It's not selfish, it's protecting your peace."
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
Solve the daily Crossword