It's okay to feel like a foreigner in India—even if you're Indian

Time of India

25-04-2025

US Vice President
JD Vance is well known for making acerbic comments. But during his recent four-day visit to India, he narrated an anecdote in Jaipur that warmed the cockles of many Indian hearts. After dining on some really delicious food at the most famous address in Delhi, 7 Lok Kalyan Marg, and chatting with its prime occupant, seven-year-old
Ewan Vance
apparently said, "Dad, I think I can live in India." The rider, however, would also sound familiar to Indians.
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It seems that after a few hours of sweaty sightseeing around Jaipur, young Ewan eventually decided that moving to England might be a better idea. Those conflicting emotions must go through the minds of the offspring of even the most optimistic Indian (or half-Indian) families when visiting India, especially at any time other than that magical two-month winter window. They arrive full of excitement, expectations and enthusiasm but often leave with mixed feelings.
The fact is, much of the
Indian diaspora
is now like their Irish, Scottish, Polish, Italian and other peripatetic counterparts, with their idea of a homeland no longer coinciding with their ethnicity anymore. Generations of ethnic Indians have been born in and lived out their lives in other countries. They are culturally attuned to different rhythms, so expecting them to warm to Indian beats with any more alacrity than other visitors who have no Indian parentage at all, is naive.
Nevertheless, many desi relatives feel a twinge of sadness that their visiting
NRI
or mixed-race family seem more 'foreign' than Indian. That they respond to what they see, hear, taste or feel on visits "home" in the same way as Norwegian or Nigerian visitors of similar age, background and passports. Yes, many ethnic Indians do not feel any instinctive affinity to India, but many do come to love it, albeit more in the way other foreigners fall for India rather than as 'desis'.
Coinciding with India's rising world profile, the Indian-origin diaspora now seems more willing to acknowledge, learn about and relate to their desi background, no matter how many generations remote. Yet it is too much to expect that they will feel a natural empathy for all things Indian, from customs and weather to food and idiosyncrasies. Despite ethnic ties, desi notions of privacy, relationships, personal space and hospitality can seem odd or mystifying to many of them.
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Their detachment or unfamiliarity should not surprise, much less offend, resident Indians. After all, resident Irish or Poles rarely take umbrage if their diasporic tourists do not have the faintest idea about local cultures beyond, say, the stereotypical leprechauns and pierogies. India is now "the land of techies and chess geniuses" so it is alright if foreign-born ethnic Indians come "home" expecting to see those everywhere instead of the proverbial snake charmers and tigers.
The Vances had to tread a fine line between their official position as America's Second Family and their Indian link on this visit "home". The three children wore Indian outfits but the Telugu-origin, US-born-and-bred Second Lady Usha Vance did not wear a saree, or even a kurta set like former British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak's wife Akshata Murty wore during their G20 visit. Murty grew up in India and remains an Indian national, so it was natural. Usha Vance is American.
Many ethnic-Indian or part-Indian foreigners who no longer have any relatives in India tread a fine line too, as they often do not feel any special pull towards this 'homeland'. They regard India with the same way as any foreigner sees a land of great antiquity, modern relevance, philosophical and spiritual depth, business opportunities, and, yes, touristic value. Like Ewan Vance, they may love some things, change their minds about many other things. That's totally okay.