‘I Am Someone To Sleep With, Not Marry': Dalit Woman Shares Painful Dating Story
Discriminated for her caste and mistreated by men, this lady took to Reddit and revealed her terrible dating experience, writing a viral online post.
Even love fails to transcend centuries-old caste-based discrimination in India. A Dalit woman's horror account of dating Indian men left everyone shocked on the internet, as she wrote about being treated as a sexual object, not an equal and respectful partner. In a Reddit post, this lady revealed how multiple men shattered the hope and confidence with which she entered the dating world, underlining how deeply caste still impacts relationships in the country.
The woman said men would initially approach her for her appearance and intelligence, but soon lose interest as they found out about her caste. The revelation brought a complete U-turn in their behaviour, cutting down all contact while giving family pressure as a major excuse behind the break-up.
''It's not you,' they'd say. 'But our families would never accept it.' Or worse: 'You deserve someone who won't have to fight this hard'," the Reddit user wrote, disclosing how she faced derogatory remarks, such as 'You don't look like a Dalit", and being treated as a mere sexual object.
'I've been told that Dalit women are 'wild', 'great in bed', 'more open-minded'. I've been fetishised more times than I can count. To them, I'm exciting, a break from the norm. I'm someone to sleep with, not someone to marry. I've begun to feel like I'm part of a private ritual that savarna men go through before they settle down with someone from their caste. I'm the hidden phase they never speak of: the shame wrapped in lust."
The woman's traumatic dating experience also included facing career-based insults, with men assuming that her achievements were down to the caste reservations offered to her. 'I've worked incredibly hard to be where I am. I've studied, built a career and supported myself. But even then, it's not enough," she wrote. The lady also declared she has stopped dating altogether.
'Not because I stopped believing in love, but because I couldn't keep subjecting myself to this cycle of fetish, rejection, erasure, and pain. I couldn't keep being someone's experiment, someone's thrill, someone's secret. We are not disposable. We are not secret histories in someone else's life," she added, calling on all women to respect and value themselves.
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First Published:
July 19, 2025, 10:42 IST
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