Cancer Diaries: Today I'm getting cut open
The last week had been stressful as I was trying to get the house clean, make checklists, run errands and get everything in order for my three weeks off for recuperation.
One of my sisters scoffed at me: 'Just leave your house as-is. Have you seen my house?'
In that spirit I have decided that apart from my stash of soups and cup noodles, I will just give up on trying to cook the first week.
My body still feels as though it is slowly turning into stone but mentally, I can't seem to persuade myself to go out for walks.
After various encounters with stalkers and other weird men, and no longer feeling safe without my now-departed dog, going out in my neighbourhood feels like a fraught exercise — not to mention my legs being so unsteady.
Instead, I've just been doing dance workouts in my bedroom (thanks YouTube) though I can only manage up to five minutes before I'm too exhausted to manage more than a cooldown routine after.
As you're reading this I will be at the hospital for my lumpectomy and probably being discharged the same day. — Picture from pexels.com
Post-surgery, I already have a printed list of rehab exercises to do, but I will still have to find time for actual walks.
Maybe I will motivate myself by walking to Dou Dou Bake as a croissant seems like a good distraction from my likely agoraphobia.
There's no point in worrying about the surgery because, like everything else, all that's required of me is to just show up and avoid dodgy supplements.
All I can hope for is for the surgery to proceed smoothly, that I do not have any lingering active cancer (that would mean more chemotherapy), my wounds close up quickly and that the three weeks is enough rest.
I'm hoping that I get discharged the same day as it will mean my surgery was relatively minor without complications.
My lumpectomy (also known as a partial lumpectomy or breast conserving surgery) is a fairly routine procedure where they will remove what is left of my tumour.
I expect a few lymph nodes to also be removed in the process and I'm hoping to avoid drains but that won't be up to me.
Thank you for coming on this journey with me and I will see you on the flip side.
* This is the personal opinion of the columnist.
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