‘Main duniya mein bekar insaan hoon': As Ira Khan battles self-doubt over not earning, father Aamir reassures her; why this is an important parenting lesson

Indian Express

09-05-2025

Ira Khan, daughter of actor Aamir Khan, spoke about her guilt and frustration over not earning money before launching her mental health initiative, Agatsu, in a recent interview. Reflecting on her struggles, Ira shared during a chat with Pinkvilla, 'Mere maa baap ne mere upar — main 26-27 saal ki hoon — bahut paise kharch kiye hain aur main duniya mein bekar insaan hoon, main kuch nhi kar rahi hoon (My parents have spent a lot of money on me, I am 26–27 years old, and I feel like a useless person in this world, I am not doing anything).'
Aamir Khan then gently reassured his daughter, offering a broader perspective on self-worth and contribution. He clarified, 'Inka matlab hai, paise naa kamana… (She means to say, not earning any money…),' and added, 'Kuch log logon ke kaam aate hain, aur uske awaz mein paisa lete hain, as long as main logon ke kaam aaun, and uske badle paisa loon ya nhi, that's a separate issue. Aap logon ke kaam aao, ye kaafi hai (Some people help others and take money for it; whether or not you take money, as long as you are helping others, that's enough).'
Emphasising the value of helping others over financial success, he said, 'Aap itna logon ki help kar rahin hain, as a father, ye mere liye bahot badi cheez hai. Aap paise kama rahe ho ya nhi, wo mere liye important nhi hai, aap kaam accha kar rahe ho, ye mere liye important hai (You are helping so many people, and as a father, that means a lot to me. Whether you are earning money or not is not important to me; the important thing is that you are doing good work).'
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Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, 'Growing up, money is often tied closely to feelings of self-worth and independence. In many Indian households, whether parents spoke positively or negatively about spending on us, there was an underlying message: 'You are valuable when you contribute.' Even well-meaning reminders like 'We do so much for you,' or casual jokes about expenses plant early seeds of guilt.'
As we grow, she says, there's a deep, intrinsic drive to want to support ourselves — and eventually give back to our families. When that doesn't happen by a particular timeline society has created — say by your mid-twenties — young adults often internalise it as personal failure, even if they're doing meaningful, important work.
'Financial independence becomes more than just about money — it becomes proof that 'I am capable,' 'I am responsible,' and 'I am enough',' notes the expert.
Khangarot mentions, 'Parental reassurance is hugely important — especially in Indian families where expectations around money and success run deep. Financial reassurance — where parents make it clear that their love, pride, and support are not tied to earnings — takes a massive psychological load off young adults.'
When financial pressure is left unspoken, Khangarot states, it hangs heavy like invisible homework. 'But when parents, like Aamir Khan did, openly tell their children, 'It's okay, take your time, we are here to support you,' it takes one major item — survival anxiety — off their mental checklist.'
When that basic safety net is acknowledged, she says that the young adult's brain can shift from threat mode to growth mode.