Workplace Trust Is A Language. Here's How To Speak It.

Forbes

28-07-2025

Trust is the language of modern leadership. getty
Workplace trust is fraying. Only 1 in 5 U.S. employees strongly trust their leadership, and 63% fear leaders may purposely mislead them. But it's not just leadership we mistrust — it's each other. Some coworkers light us up, others drain us. That's trust, too. And while it can feel elusive, trust isn't lost forever — or one-size-fits-all.
Uncertainty fuels fear and fatigue. Layoffs, political pressure, and daily headline whiplash make people question: Do leaders mean what they say? Can I trust their decisions? Tensions and frustration simmer, spill into careless comments and reactive choices, and quietly erode relationships.
Yet trust fuels everything companies care about: engagement, innovation, retention, and performance. Without it, people self-protect. Productivity drops. Turnover rises. And high-trust companies? They deliver up to 286% higher shareholder returns .
As Brené Brown says, trust is earned in the smallest of moments. And in my experience, those moments are where your presence, your assumptions, and your willingness to repair matter most.
Trust in the workplace is rarely lost all at once. It erodes quietly when questions go unasked, feedback goes unspoken, and credit goes unshared. Motives get second-guessed. Energy fades. Collaboration gives way to cautious compliance. Over time, even high-performing teams slip into quiet resignation.
It fractures further when feedback is vague, decisions lack context, leaders disappear in moments of uncertainty — or when a a blind eye is turned. It also breaks down between colleagues through misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and the stories we start telling ourselves when communication misses the mark.
When trust breaks, control rushes in, and control breeds fear, compliance and burnout, not performance. Gallup estimates that low engagement costs the global economy nearly $9 trillion annually. That's the price of workplaces where trust is in short supply.
Trust gets built in micro-moments of connection: how feedback is given, how people feel heard, how people show up when things get hard. It grows when we say what we mean and try not to let each other down. And it's not just about being trustworthy, you must also be trusting. Believing in others' ability to rise matters just as much as showing up yourself.
That's why understanding how different people experience trust is essential. Minda Harts, author of Talk to Me Nice and workplace consultant, shared a personal experience that shaped her perspective: 'I had a manager early in my career who never gave me feedback. I started questioning whether he valued my work or if I even belonged on the team. My trust language is feedback — I need specific input to feel trusted and valued. But he didn't know that. We were both trying, but speaking completely different languages.'
She added: 'How can people build trust if they don't know what you need from them?' Read The Signals Of Workplace Trust
As Minda explains: 'That's what trust is: a language. When someone speaks one language and you keep speaking another louder, communication doesn't improve. But we do this with trust all the time.'
She adds: 'A leader might think they're building trust by being transparent, but if their employees' trust language is follow-through, all that transparency means nothing if commitments aren't kept.' That's why understanding and speaking someone's trust language matters just as much as what you say.
In a tech-driven world that flattens emotion, quietly erases what makes us unique, and distances us, human connection stands out. Trust thrives on proximity, authenticity, logic, and empathy, and wobbles when any of those are missing. It's communicated in intentional moments: how often we engage, the words we choose, the care behind our actions. We tend to trust those who show up consistently and with vulnerability — sharing openly, owning their missteps, and being emotionally present — and who speak in ways that resonate, not those we only hear from through impersonal leadership talking points.
When leaders understand how people experience trust, they can transform tension into collaboration. And the payoff is real. Research from Paul J. Zak , founding director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies, found that employees at high-trust organizations are: 74% less stressed
50% more productive
76% more engaged
It even increases joy. And who doesn't want more of that? The 7+1 Trust Languages at Work
Leadership is tested — and proven — in how we earn, show, and speak trust.
In his book Trusted Leader, David Horsager identifies eight pillars of trust: clarity, compassion, character, competency, commitment, connection, contribution, and consistency. These are the qualities leaders need to cultivate trust.
But how do those values show up in everyday team interactions? In Talk to Me Nice , Minda adds a practical layer: seven trust languages that translate those values into action. 'The biggest mistake leaders make is trying to repair trust using their language,' she says. For some, trust looks like transparency — explaining decisions and sharing context. For others, it's follow-through — keeping commitments and delivering on promises. Minda outlines seven trust languages that help leaders better connect with their teams: Transparency — Explaining not just what decisions are made, but why.
— Explaining not just what decisions are made, but why. Security — Creating intellectual, psychological, and physical safety so people can speak up without fear.
— Creating intellectual, psychological, and physical safety so people can speak up without fear. Demonstration — Modeling expected behaviors instead of merely telling others what to do.
— Modeling expected behaviors instead of merely telling others what to do. Feedback — Offering clear, actionable input rather than vague praise.
— Offering clear, actionable input rather than vague praise. Acknowledgment — Recognizing contributions in ways that matter personally to each individual.
— Recognizing contributions in ways that matter personally to each individual. Sensitivity — Being emotionally aware and thoughtful about timing during challenging conversations.
— Being emotionally aware and thoughtful about timing during challenging conversations. Follow-through — Consistently doing what you say you'll do.
While David Horsager's research points to 'connection' as one of the eight pillars of trust, I see it as an essential language of trust, too. We can't shortcut the moments that build trust: stay interviews, coaching conversations, meaningful celebrations, thoughtful feedback, and those small, unexpected check-ins that quietly say 'I see you.'
When I asked which of these languages leaders neglect most, Minda didn't hesitate: 'Sensitivity, hands down. We've gotten so focused on 'efficiency' and 'getting things done' that we've forgotten people are human beings first, and employees second.'
She shares examples of leaders delivering harsh feedback via email, announcing layoffs in all-hands meetings, or making major changes with no emotional context. For employees whose primary trust language is sensitivity, this doesn't feel impersonal but rather a betrayal. As Minda puts it: 'How and when you communicate matters as much as what you communicate.' How To Re-Earn Workplace Trust
When workplace trust breaks, it echoes. And when it breaks within the very functions meant to model it — leadership and HR — the fallout runs deeper. Take the "kiss cam" scandal: Astronomer's CEO resigned after being caught on camera in what appeared to be a personal entanglement with the company's chief people officer, sparking headlines and shaking internal trust. HR's role is to safeguard culture and steady people through uncertainty. When that trust collapses, it can feel like the ground disappears.
Like in any relationship, workplace trust will face ruptures. But those moments don't have to define your work reputation or relationships. What sets trusted colleagues and great leaders apart is their willingness to face conflict, engage in honest repair, and pursue deeper understanding.
So where do you begin? By naming where trust has broken and owning your part. That starts with honest self-reflection.
Minda recommends that you ask your teams two questions:
1. What does trust look like to you?
2. What would make you feel most supported right now?'
Then listen. Someone might need more transparency about decisions, another might want acknowledgement for their extra hours, and someone else might need sensitivity around a health issue. You don't have to fix everything, but understanding how each person defines trust is a powerful first step.
Another practice I use often: Pause. Breathe. Reflect. Ask yourself, "Am I responding to what's actually happening or to the story I'm telling myself?" When I feel myself slipping into impatient, fire-breathing mode, I take a moment. Do I need a walk? A quick breathing exercise? Should I text my husband or a friend to sanity-check my assumptions?
Then, check in, especially with the person you're struggling to connect with or your team after a big decision or shift. Ask these two questions: "How did that land for you?" 'What's still on your mind?'
These practices matter even more in make-or-break moments: public crises, layoffs, or when companies pull back from diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) efforts. As Minda puts it: "It's devastating because it breaks multiple trust languages at once. Pulling back on inclusion breaks follow-through and acknowledgment. For marginalized employees, it feels like a fundamental breach."
In my experience working with senior leaders and teams, I've seen how deeply trust and DEI are connected. When companies retreat from DEI, employees wonder: Do I still belong here? Were those promises only performative? Will I be next?
This is where leadership can re-earn trust: Name the reality. If DEI initiatives are shifting, say so clearly. Silence breeds mistrust.
If DEI initiatives are shifting, say so clearly. Silence breeds mistrust. Keep checking in. Don't assume everyone feels equally safe. Ask what's changed for them and what support they need.
Don't assume everyone feels equally safe. Ask what's changed for them and what support they need. Match words to actions. Don't just say belonging matters. Show it through decisions, resources, and daily behavior.
Trust may not bounce back overnight, but it can be restored with consistency, care, honest conversation, and the courage to meet the moment with humanity. Trust Is The Language Of Modern Leadership
Leadership today demands trusting relationships and a deeper awareness of how people work and feel, and you need to nurture those connections and instincts before urgency takes over. Trust steadies people in uncertain times, and it's spoken and reinforced in everyday moments: giving feedback, acknowledging what people carry or when you have let them down, staying honest when the answers aren't clear. As Minda says, 'Titles don't build trust. People do.'
Workplace trust is the foundation of how we live well, lead well and create organizations worth believing in — places that light us up, not burn us out.