57 Hilarious Smartasses Who Can't Be Normal Humans

Buzz Feed

5 days ago

First, there's the husband who told his wife he got her a Gucci "hambag" (and he's lucky she didn't divorce him):
The wife who had quite the answer to "How many sexual partners have you had?":
And the smartass who left this gift in the crawlspace for the new owner's of his house to find:
The employee who — when their office manager went on vacation — put this masterpiece over their desk (and if you're too young to get it, watch The Silence of the Lambs):
The amputee who got the perfect tattoo:
If you can't read it, it says: "One foot in the grave."
And the cheeky person who got this one:
The guy who couldn't just eat this pear slice without showing it off to the whold damn world:
This wait person who found a novel way to deal with annoying customers:
And the kids who pulled this "starter-level" prank on their dad, lol:
The owner of this truck who thought, "You know what would be funny?":
The person who made this sign way more delightful than it had any right to be:
And the coffee shop owner who turned their matcha powder into the ultimate double take:
The grandma who brings extra bacon from home to add to her BLT:
The garbage truck driver who definitely has a sarcastic streak:
And the people who make this pickle-flavored dough (and 100% know what they're doing):
The guy who, after passing a bottle of Rumple Minze back and forth with his buddy for years, pulled the ultimate move and sneaked it back in a birthday cake:
The restaurant owner who'd HAD it with people complaining there was no T.P. in the bathroom:
And the wiseguy who couldn't just give his router a normal name:
The pranksters in Glasgow who vandalized this advert for the "Big Arch" burger:
This author who — after being told the Bible is the top-selling book of all-time — wrote this:
And the owners of this nursery who were surprisingly sarcastic for people who sell plants:
The person who made this flyer (I'm not sure if they're sincere or joking, lol):
The pain in management's ass who found a way around their stupid rules:
And this very prim and proper grandma who found a way to read slightly saucy books — by replacing the swears:
The blinds installer who drives this truck:
The Monty Python fan who did this when they got a scratch on their car:
And the friends who came up with this slightly excessive way to keep their drunk pal from driving home:
The smartass who went out this door to cancel their gym membership the easy way:
The person who couldn't afford a fancy bidet, but didn't let that stop them:
And the struggling math student who tried — and failed — to use Jesus to pass a test:
The person who didn't want people to know he was driving one of Elon's Cybertrucks:
The smart aleck who did THIS when mom told them to "stack the dishes in the sink":
And the pharmacy technician who was over their job:
The person who didn't have a fly swatter, so they let their pet gecko eat the flies buzzing about:
The restaurant that found a way to A) let kids eat free, and B) not lose a dime:
And the kid who found a hilarious way to stop birds from flying into this window:
The classmates who teamed up to pull this prank:
The man who was OVER discussing their accident:
And the sign maker who had a sneaky plan to get you to read it:
The prankster who put a couple layers of boot polish on one of their coworker's boots every day he was on vacation...and left the other boot totally as is:
And the timid driver who found a brilliant way to guilt people into letting them merge:
The grocery stocker who knew exactly what they were doing:
Ian, who tricked his wife into hanging a stocking for their new pup, Nala, so that when lined up they spelled...:
And the person who made their McDonald's order via playlist:
The driver behind this impressively clever way to cover up a cracked windshield:
And the co-worker who left this trap for whoever kept stealing their lunch:
The cat owner who called out their kitty:
The homeowner who — when they needed to spray their new kitchen cabinets — preempted anyone from thinking anything illegal was going down:
And the guy who — when a kid tossed rocks at his house and then took off running, forgetting his scooter — did this:
The person who — upon finding the store totally out of Christmas bags — improvised:
And the wife who is petrified of slugs, so when one came in the house, she did this:
The note reads: "Scary slug infiltrated. Hid him in a trolley under pile of salt under glass bowl. Very sorry, but could you deal with it? Love you x."
This person who got tired of answering the same question on job interviews, so they printed up this card to hand out when asked their greatest strength:
The sly devil who discovered their Christmas pillow can double as Valentine's Day decor:
And the movie theater employees who absolutely knew what they were doing when they put this standee here:
The wife who found a way to make her husband's jokey birthday request for "cocaine and hookers" come true:
The person who accidentally bought a card for a fifth birthday instead of 35th...and improvised:
And Katie, who was given an offer she couldn't refuse, but found a way to anyway: