Brother of murdered Valerie French Kilroy writing book about her death and its aftermath

Irish Examiner

11-05-2025

The brother of murdered West Cork mother of three Valerie French Kilroy has written a book about her tragic death and its terrible aftermath.
David French is also campaigning to change the law in his late sister's name to protect other families. Valerie's Law would strip someone convicted of intentionally killing their children's other parent of guardianship rights.
Currently, there "is a loophole in child safety in Ireland" because people who kill their partners or ex-partners fully retain guardianship of any shared children, Mr French said.
The book For Valerie by David French will be available from Thursday, May 15, and can be pre-ordered via Easons.
'The point of the book is to fill out the picture of who Valerie was, what she was like, and what the dynamics of the relationship were as well,' Mr French said.
Mr French thoroughly researched domestic homicide following his sister's death.
'When you see the research, you see that all the women are different, they're all individuals, but all the killers are remarkably similar.
They usually show up as fairly manipulative, fairly charming, but very narcissistic
'You see so many similarities in these women's stories. This book is for Valerie, but many other brothers and sisters could write the same thing about their loved ones.'
Writing the book was useful as a way to work through the case over the five years the family waited for it to go to trial and then re-trial, he said.
Once the verdict was given, Mr French had a manuscript ready.
'So it was good to write it because you make sense out of things by writing. It is helpful. You see the similarities across other cases.
You sit down and look at what was happening and what the dynamics were, and that side of it sometimes gets lost in all the usual emotion and grief
'You look all these problems that come from a central place and a system almost in denial that this happens."
Appeal system
Highlighting the huge amount of 'aftermath' for a victim's family — between court proceedings, handling wills and probate, dealing with all of their loved one's affairs — was another point to the book, he said.
'The perpetrator just sits around inside the prison, playing ball, and the victim's family is left cleaning up the mess,' he said.
And the killer, James Kilroy, is now appealing, he said. 'But 98% of killers do," Mr French said.
'The system just runs on its own. If you're the perpetrator and you're not happy with the sentence, you just say 'appeal' and then people go and do the work for you. You can go back to watching TV or whatever you're doing.
We're about six years after the murder — so he's halfway to his first parole application, which comes in 12 years
'They always have something in the near future to look forward to.'
Writing the book also helped inform the campaign for Valerie's Law, highlighting problems with the current system.
Two bills are now being proposed — by the Social Democrats and by Government — to bring Valerie's Law into Irish law, Mr French said.
'It does seem like everyone's on the same side at the moment [opposition and government parties],' Mr French said.
'It goes to the justice committee next," he added.
A meeting was also held in April with the European commissioner for justice, Michael McGrath, and MEP Kathleen Funchion in Brussels to discuss Valerie's Law in the EU.
Guardianship rights
Valerie was "savagely slaughtered" by her husband James Kilroy, who showed no remorse and tried to avoid accountability for her murder, Mr French said.
Kilroy was convicted of her murder and sentenced to life in prison last July.
However, despite a murder conviction, the killer retains his guardianship rights over their children.
This means the murderer has a right to know where they live, how they are progressing in school, and to be involved in major decisions affecting their lives, Mr French said.
'This is a loophole in child safety in Ireland," Mr French said.
Children exist in their own right and are not stepping stones in the rehabilitation of others. Their safety, privacy, rights, and opinions have to be taken into account
In May 2024, Britain enacted Jade's Law so that a person who is convicted of killing their partner or ex-partner will lose their parental responsibility for their children from that relationship, Mr French said.
'The law in Ireland also needs to change so that when someone is convicted of a killing there would be an automatic removal of guardianship of any children shared with the victim.
'We need legislation to protect children from killers by placing this recommendation into law as soon as possible," he said.