I review TVs for a living — here's why I don't let my daughter watch any of them
The way my mom tells it, she plopped me in front of Sesame Street starting at two weeks old and never gave it a second thought. In her eyes, having kids huddled around the TV was the norm in the '80s and '90s, and she felt good knowing that at least I was watching informative educational TV rather than something geared for older audiences.
Around 12 months ago, I became a father to an adorable little girl — and she wants nothing more than to watch any one of the 10 TVs I have stationed around the house. But that's not going to happen. At least not until she's much older. Here's why.
I wasn't always so staunchly opposed to my daughter watching TV. While she was recovering at Oishei Children's Hospital here in Buffalo, I would put the TV on in her room so she'd have some background noise in the hopes she'd feel less alone when I left for the night.
But when she came home, my wife and I decided that TV shows — no matter how educational — shouldn't be part of her everyday routine. And science backs that up.
'Pediatric guidelines from organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics suggest avoiding screen media for children under 18 months, except for video chatting,' says Rachel Kowert, PhD, a research psychologist and digital parenting expert at Nurture.
Around age 2, limited and high-quality screen time can be introduced — especially when it's used with a caregiver
That's been difficult, especially considering that my job here at Tom's Guide requires a constant parade of TVs coming into and going out of the house. Thankfully, it won't have to be that way forever.
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'Around age 2, limited and high-quality screen time can be introduced — especially when it's used with a caregiver,' Dr. Kowert says. 'Still, less than an hour is best.'
It wasn't long after I started watching TV that I picked up an NES controller. Before I learned how to read, I could beat the first few levels of Super Mario Bros. and give my brother's friends a run for their money in Tecmo Super Bowl.
These days, however, most kids' first introduction to gaming is via a tablet or phone. As a newish parent that concerns me — playing a console had a specific time and place. But phones and tablets can be taken anywhere, which means kids can request to play games at inappropriate times at inappropriate places.
That's a possible concern, says Dr. Kowert, but parents really set the tone for their kids.
'Screen time works best for kids and parents when it's intentional. Even if that intention is just entertaining so mom or dad can make dinner, or more complex like teaching critical thinking skills, the intent matters.
'When kids understand that screens have different purposes — some for learning, some for relaxing, some for connecting — they build healthy habits around media use.'
I don't think I'll be able to keep my daughter from using screens indefinitely, obviously, and I'm looking forward to introducing her to a PC when the time's right. But the time just isn't right for her right now.
Both can support learning, development, and just living, in different ways.
According to Dr. Kowert, the 'games vs. shows' question comes up a lot: 'The truth is, both can support learning, development, and just living, in different ways. Games are typically more interactive. They ask kids to make choices, solve problems, and practice skills actively. That kind of engagement is great for building critical thinking and reinforcing early concepts through repetition and play.'
Of course, my mom wasn't totally in the wrong by letting me watch TV — especially because she was choosing shows that were great for early brain development.
Thoughtful shows, especially ones like Sesame Street, also have tremendous value, especially for modeling kindness, cooperation, and early academic skills.
'Thoughtful shows, especially ones like Sesame Street, also have tremendous value, especially for modeling kindness, cooperation, and early academic skills … They also offer a shared cultural experience that many families value and enjoy together.'
It should be noted here that Nurture is itself a learning app that's aimed at kids aged 4-7 to teach them 'essential life skills through engaging, story-driven play.' She's spent the last 15 years conducting data-driven research focused on mental health and trust and safety in digital games, so you might hear a slightly different story from someone with less knowledge in the visual media space.
Still, Dr. Kowert's claims are backed up by years of research conducted by universities like NYU and the University of Burlington, who all say that games are far more beneficial than they are harmful to a child's development.
When I asked specifically about how to prevent my daughter from becoming a so-called 'iPad Kid,' Dr. Kowert had some reassuring advice that all parents need to hear.
If it becomes a crutch, not a tool, there's probably a good reason to rein it in. But 'iPad kid' oversimplifies the relationship kids have with screens.
'Parents tend to have a really strong feeling when screen time feels like 'too much.' If it becomes a crutch, not a tool, there's probably a good reason to rein it in. But 'iPad kid' oversimplifies the relationship kids have with screens. Kids are drawn to them because they're fun, rewarding, and stimulating. So we just have to be very intentional about what's on that screen and why they're reaching for it.'
Finally, when it comes time to put them down for the night, set clear expectations and give verbal warnings that it's time to power down. These won't always go over well, obviously, but when we as parents snatch tablets away too quickly, we're almost always going to get a negative response.
According to Dr. Kowert, this is like someone snatching a donut away from you mid-bite. 'Just like we'd be annoyed if someone snatched a donut from our grip right as we had another bite, kids won't enjoy having the screen turned off without warning or too suddenly … Giving them 5, 2, and 1-minute warnings is one way we can help them stay aware of the passage of time and ease out of their high-focus state.'
Admittedly, this is the part I'm least looking forward to — but sadly it's part of being a responsible parent in a time when we've got screens everywhere in the house.
Ultimately, I'm excited to introduce my little one to the world of big-screen entertainment. I'm dreaming of the day when we can sit down together for some all-day gaming sessions, but for her health, I'm going to adhere to Dr. Kowert's advice and keep her away from screens for at least another six months before slowly introducing them in a responsible manner.
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