ALEXANDRA SHULMAN'S NOTEBOOK: What if I lose my son to a total wife-mare?

Daily Mail​

10-05-2025

As a mother of one son, occasionally in the small hours I fret about what will happen when he marries and I'm shunted into second place by his new wife.
What if he falls in love with a South American and starts a family in Sao Paolo? What if he marries someone who views his old life as something to be scrubbed out as soon as possible?
Then I think I'm being irrational and try to go back to sleep. But maybe my fears aren't so wide of the mark.
Look at what's going on with Harry and Meghan or Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz. If he picks the wrong woman it can be a total wife-mare as she takes control of your cherished son.
While Meghan appears to have turned Harry into a vengeful Cali boy, all feeding the chickens and therapy speak, Nicola seems to have inserted a wedge between Brooklyn and the rest of the family he was once so close to.
He was always there for them – cheerfully taking part in the Instagram-fest that is Planet Beckham – and they for him, even down to promoting his chilli sauce.
While it's completely understandable his wife may not have been keen to attend all five of her father-in-law's 50th birthday celebrations, you'd have thought she could have squeezed in David's dinner at a Notting Hill restaurant.
But no – it seems that what Nicola wants, Nicola gets (unless it was Brooklyn who was too busy washing his hair… admittedly, we still don't know the ins and outs).
Whatever the truth, it has made me more aware than ever that if a wedding looks to be in the offing, my number one task is to be liked by my son's wife-to-be. How I will go about this is not yet clear, though presently it appears I have a bit of time to work it out.
Mothers and sons often have very close relationships – especially if he is an only child. That's certainly the case with mine. There's a co-dependency that can flip between extreme admiration, love and trust to total infuriation.
And we both know how to flick those emotional switches. Add another woman into the mix and it's a rich setting for a proper drama triangle.
Harry, clearly still living with the trauma of his mother's death and seething with the injustice of being the 'spare' second son, was seemingly ripe for the picking by a woman on a mission to 'save' him from his past and his family.
Brooklyn is a less obvious victim. If it can happen to him and Victoria, it can happen to any of us who think the matriarchal bond is in pretty good shape.
Fortunately, I have always admired the women my son has been attached to, and if they've had a problem with me they certainly haven't shown it. But there's always time.
Who knows who's lurking round the corner . . .
Off the shoulder – and a bit off-piste
Speaking of the Beckhams, the new John Lewis occasionwear collection incorporates more than a dash of Victoria's evening style, showcasing the slinky, strappy slips her own range is full of.
While she and her girlfriends typically look fabulous in her clothes, most women find slivers of unforgiving fabric that won't allow you to wear a bra rather demanding – and far from a dead cert for the summer party season.
Although there are pretty one-shouldered dresses and a floral pyjama suit, the new John Lewis collection is an odd choice for a store whose heartland is middle-aged middle England.
There's nothing wrong with that being your core demographic – it's full of women longing to find clothes to buy.
But time after time when brands want to launch a more upmarket range, they seem to forget who their core customer is and suddenly go wildly off-piste in an attempt to look fashionable.
I hope I'm wrong, but I can't see this new line flying off the rails and on to the mother of the bride.
Here's one offer I'd like to refuse
I never expected to be choosing between taking a bath and watering the garden, but that's where this household is at the moment.
We have just got our water bill which, thanks to Thames Water, has increased by 40 per cent.
If I were a handy type I would be able to use a pipe to drain the bath into the garden, but that's not going to happen.
When I objected to the size of the bill, Thames Water just gave me the old guff about improving its infrastructure.
As compensation it has offered to put me on the pensioner's list for priority treatment should the water supply fail – a sop that, to be honest, hasn't made me feel any better.
A summit that was worth trekking to
Tina Brown's third investigative journalism summit in honour of her late husband Sir Harry Evans was a welcome affirmation of the necessity of the fourth estate – and a wonderful demonstration of how much journalists enjoy the company of other journalists.
The panel discussions were interesting (if you were a journalist) and provided each speaker the opportunity to expound on how their business – whether The New York Times, the BBC, the Economist or a local newspaper – was doing brilliantly and had all the answers.
There was, of course, a lot of time built in for networking. It confirmed my long-held opinion that the best guests at parties are journalists, with their love of gossip and a good conspiracy theory.
So much more fun than the Met Gala, which also took place last week over in New York. But rather less extravagantly dressed.
Sold... thanks to the fun of Fergie
At a lunch in aid of Cancer Research UK, the Duchess of York demonstrated untapped skills as an auctioneer.
The qualities that make her a bit too raucous for the Royal Family (or too foot-in-the-mouth, one might say) were perfect for squeezing substantial sums out of the assembled guests.
She was shameless in telling us just to get on with it, raising the cash for the Celine-sponsored auction prize in no time at all – and with a lot of laughter.