Parenting expert's warning after Molly Mae Hague reveals her daughter Bambi, two, bit children at nursery

Daily Mail​

4 hours ago

A parenting expert has advised what to do if your child has started biting others - after Molly Mae Hague revealed she'd experienced the issue with her daughter Bambi.
The Manchester-based influencer, 26, who speaks candidly about her parenting online, revealed her daughter, two, had bitten two other children at nursery in a new video shared to YouTube.
The former Love Island star also said she wasn't sure about the nursery's 'gentle parenting' approach because she didn't know if Bambi would know biting was wrong.
Gentle parenting, which is increasingly fashionable with Millennial and Gen Z parents, encourages adults to never raise their voice and to calmly explain corrections instead - but many claim it fails to show kids the consequences of their negative actions.
Molly opened up about the experience with her fans in her latest post, as she declared: 'It's the complete opposite of what I want my child to be'.
She also said she was conflicted over taking her little girl for ice cream after the incident because she was concerned she would view it as a 'reward for bad behaviour' - and had asked AI assistant Chat GPT for advice as she was unsure what to do.
According to parenting experts, biting other children, especially at such a young age, is actually very common - but it does need to be firmly corrected.
Kirsty Ketley, who has 30 years of experience as a nursery manager and early years educator, told the Metro that the key to putting an end to the biting is responding with a calm and consistent manner.
She advised to: 'Keep language simple: "No biting. Biting hurts." Then guide them towards a more positive behaviour, like offering words they can use ("I don't like that"), or giving them something safe to bite if they're teething.
'Notice and praise when they express themselves without biting – very important!'
If the biting is happening when you are not present, for example if your child is at nursery, Kirsty recommends speaking to staff and asking if they've noticed any particular triggers occurring before the incident takes place.
However, Kirsty doesn't believe that the rise of 'gentle parenting' is to blame for the rise of biting in young children.
'It's something that has always happened in nurseries and early years settings,' she told Metro.
Molly, who recently reunited with partner Tommy Fury, had told her social media followers: 'I got a call from nursery today to tell me that she has bitten another child at nursery. This isn't the first time it's happened.'
'Basically at her nursery at the minute, there's a bit of a biting pandemic going on and all of the children are biting one another.
'I got a call the other day to tell me that she'd been bitten and she came home with a full-on bite mark on her arm.
'I wasn't even cross or upset about it because I knew it would be a matter of days before they'd call me to say she'd done the same thing back to another child.
'I feel like especially in her nursery, they're all seeing each other doing it and copying the behaviour basically.'
She added: 'So I got a call from her key worker to say that she'd bitten again today and I just feel like is taking her for ice cream later on rewarding her...when she's done something at nursery that's really not good?
'But equally, I don't even know if I should bring attention to it. When it happened the other week, I decided to go with the method of not bringing attention to it at all.
'So not talking about it, because I think they do it because maybe they want a reaction, or she wants a rise, or she wants us to talk about it.
'So I didn't talk about it at all, but that method has clearly not worked because she's gone into nursery and done it again today so even with no reaction, it's still happening.
'She's getting the reaction she wants…if we're all talking about it.'
Later on in the video, Molly-Mae shared an update on the incident and revealed Zoe had said she doesn't think they should be taking Bambi for ice cream.
Explaining the development, Molly-Mae said: 'She's [Bambi] bit another child at nursery today. I know that's sad to come on here and admit. A lot of parents probably wouldn't want to admit that their child had done that.
'But the only reason I feel slightly better about it is because I had a call last week saying that Bambi had been bitten and all the children seem to be biting one another a the moment.
'One of my good friends, her daughter is in the same class and her daughter has been bitten like every day this week. It's really, really sad, it's horrible.
'But equally the children in her room at the moment are at an age where trying to explain to them...
'It's confusing because if we talk to her about it when we put her in the car, are we giving her the attention that she wants from the biting?
'But if I was listening to this video right now I'd be thinking no, you need to tell her it's not okay. Because it's not okay.
'It's so embarrassing for me because it's the complete opposite of what I want my child to be. All I want her to be in this life is kind, gentle, caring, loving and just like so lovely to the people around her. That's what I want her to be to her core.
'And her biting is just so far removed from who I want her to be. Equally she is two and a half and she is testing boundaries. Also it's hard because at their nursery their way of disciplining is that they don't really discipline.
'They have very much a gentle parenting approach on the accident report form that I got about the bite. They were like we've told her that her mouth is for chewing and for eating her food, for biting down on food and nothing else.
'I think that she knows [in] the environment she's in she is not going to get told off, there's not going to be an issue when she does bite. She's not going to have anything taken off of her, or put on a naughty step - or really be told no.
'But then is that the right approach? Because clearly whatever is going on now isn't working because it is the second time that it has happened.
'So I don't know, I'm a bit stuck on this one. Probably going to get some comments on... I don't know what the right thing is to do'.
Many took to the comments section of the video to share their thoughts on the situation and complimented Molly-Mae on her 'realness and relatability'
'I asked ChatGPT for some advice, I know people will probably have something to say about this because it's AI and controversial.'
'Controversial is my middle name at the moment. But I got some really incredible advice. So I explained the full situation and her age etc. Told [ChatGPT] what we're struggling with.'
Molly-Mae explained the advice was not to punish Bambi twice because she will be unable to link the negative repercussions in the afternoon to the incident which took place in the morning.
The rules of the nursery meant that Molly-Mae wasn't told who the child was that Bambi had bitten, but she worked out it was a close friend of her child and called her mother to apologise, which she said made her 'feel much better'.
Many took to the comments section of the video to share their thoughts on the situation and complimented Molly-Mae on her 'realness and relatability'.
'Don't worry about the biting. There are far worst [sic] things that could be happening. It's just a phase. Like you said she's testing boundaries. I wouldn't give her a second thought. It has nothing to do with you as a parent. I feel parents get caught up in what others are going to think of them but at the end of the day what you think is all that matters.'
'As a fellow mama to littles, thank you for being so honest and relatable. You are the only YouTuber I can relate to on so many levels especially your thoughts on parenting! Thank you for being real.'
'As someone born in 1994, I find the gentle parenting trend both fascinating and at times, perplexing. While I appreciate the emphasis on empathy and positive reinforcement, I sometimes wonder where the line is drawn between nurturing and permissiveness. For example, is it truly harmful to give a child a firm but respectful reprimand when they've done something wrong? I'm not referring to harsh punishment or yelling either.
'Just clear, constructive guidance to help them understand why certain actions are unacceptable. Without any form of correction or discussion about consequences, how do children learn accountability and self discipline? Anyway you're doing your best Molly! Keep your head up.'
'Molly I love your open honesty with parenting it makes me feel like I'm not the only one struggling at times so thank you.'
'Your realness surrounding motherhood and parenting is so comforting.'
'Sorry to hear about the biting situation it's not easy. Can be very upsetting. I recommend reading stories with Bambi about being kind and gentle. You could say to her to remember teeth are for biting our food not our friends. Demonstrating what she could do instead when she's angry could help too!'
Meanwhile, according to a new study, children who experience more 'authoritative' parenting do better at school up until the age of 11.
The analysis of nearly 6,000 children from across England suggests 'clear boundaries' and a bit of tough love help youngsters thrive.
'Higher parental limit-setting was associated with a greater likelihood of children achieving the expected level,' say the study authors.
One critic of gentle parenting is Katharine Birbalsingh, commonly known as Britain's strictest headmistress, who thinks the approach makes modern parents 'infantilised' and doesn't hold children to account.
'The culture and the language that's being used means parents feel that they're not in a position of authority over their child,' she said.
Professor Vivien Hill, psychologist at University College London's Institute of Education, thinks gentle parenting can lead to problems when the child starts school.
'That child is going to be entering the world of school where a teacher has to be able to control and teach 30 children,' she told the Telegraph.
'Nobody has the capacity to negotiate in that environment.'
On the other hand, Sarah Ockwell-Smith, gentle parenting advocate and author, claims the philosophy results in 'calmer, happier children'.
Gentle parenting will 'validate a child's feelings and employ kindness, empathy and understanding', she said, but many believe that in practice it fails to curb chaos.