
Meredith Goldstein's newsletter: perimenopause, vampire slayers, and iced coffee
Today we have an episode about perimenopause, menopause, and dating, and how an aging body can make our romantic life better. It's an upbeat, funny story about a woman who thinks she's going to be alone forever and then isn't.
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Welcome to the Hellmouth
I love a good TV rewatch podcast.
I am partial to the ones that dive into every episode of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer,' because they help me revisit the lessons in a show that felt like therapy in my early 20s.
Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers. (The WB/Richard Cartwright)
THE WB/RICHARD CARTWRIGHT/WB
During lockdown I started '
,'
a podcast many 'Buffy' fans already knew about. It's had a loyal following since its launch in 2016. The hosts – musician
Youngs, whose songs have been featured in '
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At the start, I liked listening to 'Buffering' because I liked all of the talk about the show, paired with Youngs's music. But over time, I developed the
And then … I realized
they weren't married anymore.
At some point in 2018, they announced
As a Love Letters advice-columnist person, I was very interested in that.
Now Russo and Youngs have a new book: '
It's about 'Buffy,' the evolution of the 'Buffering' podcast, and how art can imitate life, even when the art is about vampires and demons.
Youngs and Russo will stop in Boston with their book
Before the event, Youngs, Russo, and I had a Zoom interview to talk about everything from having to tell fans you're getting a divorce, to the way a TV show can inspire a podcast, which inspires music and a book … which inspires others to make their own art.
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Jenny Owen Youngs and Kristin Russo, hosts of "Buffering the Vampire Slayer," a long-running podcast about "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and more.
Buffering the Vampire Slayer
This interview has been edited and condensed.
Meredith:
How quickly did you realize that a podcast about a show could be as powerful to an audience as the show itself?
Kristin:
We started the podcast and we wanted to have a good time, and we still are having a good time. But the 2016 presidential election is the thing that shaped where a lot of our needs were, and that shaped the heartbeat of 'Buffering the Vampire Slayer.' Jenny and I are both queer, and we're both women, and at that moment in time, those were two identities that were directly – I mean, that are always directly under attack – but they were specifically very under attack. And our listenership shares those and other marginalized identities. We could never have the power that 'Buffy' [the show] has. It transcends all things. But … the moment we realized the power that we had in revisiting the text and show was when we were at Union Hall in New York City in December, right after the election, and right before the inauguration, and we had a room full of people who so desperately needed something to hold on to, and so did we. It was that moment in that space, physically together, that we really understood how important we all were to each other, and started to see how that was going to continue.
Meredith:
Do you think there's something about audio in general, and the podcasting medium, that makes everything more personal? For me, to listen to you while doing ritualistic things in my house, like folding laundry or eating … I think it inspires a more powerful connection than if I was watching a TV show.
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Jenny:
If you think about it, a lot of people who are listening to podcasts, just as I am now talking to you, we're literally inside of their ears, like it's an intimate proposition.
Meredith:
One of the reasons I was so excited to read the book is that you do have this intimate relationship with a lot of listeners, and you kind of become moms to fans. You've probably had to negotiate how much personal information you share with them. How have you figured out what to keep for yourselves?
Kristin:
It's negotiation with ourselves and also with each other, right? I'm an open book to an extent. I have my limits, but they're quite high, and Jenny doesn't operate that way. I think we had to learn together what we were comfortable sharing.
Jenny:
What's been really special about our community is that people in it are just so unbelievably respectful. Just imagine me at Buffy Prom last weekend … people are like, 'I have a gift for you. 'That's the vibe. They're like, 'I hate to be a bother. I just did a really nice thing.'
Meredith:
I love the idea that there are inspirational pieces of media (like 'Buffy') that can lead to a whole new piece of art. That you (Jenny) have created so much music. I think about how the two of you have nurtured this creativity within your own fandom – that liking a show can inspire people to make art, music … something more.
Jenny:
What's been really incredible to me is to see the people who have found each other through the podcast, or people who listen to the podcast and then are making their own television recap podcast. I just watched the first season of 'The Last of Us,' so really, everything that I'm thinking about now is just in terms of
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Meredith:
I like that you're taking the very scary mushrooms from that show, but making them good and about networking.
Kristin:
[Laughing.] She keeps doing it, and I'm like, danger!
Jenny:
The mushrooms. Those yearning tendrils, they long to connect!
[Everyone laughs because this is sweet but gross.]
Meredith:
What can people expect when you're in Boston, for the die-hard fans and also for people who might not know about 'Buffering'?
Kristin:
It's a very loving space. It's a very caring space. And in terms of what we're going to show up to do, I mean, you know, we love nothing more than to have fun with the text. So we're going to be diving into the 'Buffy' of it all. But I think probably this will be one of our more vulnerable events, because it really will be the first time that Jenny and I are together in a space, physically with our book, sharing what we wrote.
If you're at
Good Reads
In The Big Day,
In Dinner With Cupid,
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In the Love Letters column, I am a woman and I actually
Parasocially delicious
'Buffering the Vampire Slayer' isn't the only podcast that has the best, kindest fans. A Love Letters podcast listener wanted a
Anyway, here's my pic of my treat. May all Love Letters readers and listeners find and give others treats, when appropriate.
This truly made my month.
Oatmilk included.
Meredith Goldstein
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