Kate says her cancer led to divorce. The aftermath of it was even more surprising

SBS Australia

2 days ago

Kate navigated a divorce mediation soon after going through treatments for breast cancer. Source: Supplied Dealing with family can be tough enough. Throw money into the mix and it can be a recipe for disaster. Insight explores just how best to navigate separation, divorce, inheritance and succession — asking who gets the cash and is conflict inevitable? Watch Dividing Family Assets Tuesday 3 June 8.30PM on SBS or live on SBS On Demand . "It put a lot of stress on our family," Kate told Insight. "We also had quite young children, and it really was a very difficult time". Kate moved out of the home – initially for six months to recuperate after surgeries and cancer treatments – but the family never lived together again.
When they first got together, she and her husband talked about their assets with one another. She says although they had separate bank accounts, they tended to share most of their incomes. "We both had a similar approach to money, similar attitudes," Kate says, "... it was always very equitable and fair". However, when it came to dividing their assets in the divorce, they struggled to reach a solid agreement on their own. The pair hired lawyers for mediation, and they ended up splitting their assets roughly down the middle. Although her health was considered , according to family law statutes, "it wasn't probably as prominent an element as [she] had expected". Kate says she felt that her ongoing medical costs were accepted but weren't really accounted for. "The main thing that felt unfair to me [in the mediation] was my ongoing health situation," she says. "[I was] very unlikely to come out of breast cancer treatment, and not have chronic, ongoing health concerns".
The process of dividing assets was a smoother process for high school sweethearts Katherine and Damian Lance. The pair were best friends, but Katherine's ongoing mental health issues took a toll on their relationship. "I had been exhibiting depressive and manic episodes for a long time," Katherine told Insight. "Living with someone who has mental illness can be really taxing on a marriage." Katherine was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when she was 35. "By the time we were in our late 40s ... we had decided that it was probably best for our friendship and for our family unit that we would separate." Katherine and Damian ended their marriage amicably. They split their assets evenly, without mediation or any time in court. "We both came into our relationship as 17-year-olds," Damian says. "We started with nothing together, so it was easy to figure out who owned what. "We were partners ... what little we had when we were younger, was both of ours."
According to a 2023 Australian Bureau of Statistics report, 50,000 Australians get divorced each year. While neither the Lances nor Kate and her ex-husband went to court over their assets, lawyer Maggie Orman says the courts consider many factors when trying to reach a fair settlement for couples that do. "There's no hard and fast rule of the 50:50 at all," Orman, who specialises in family law and estate planning, says. "The court take into account initial contributions of both of the parties and what they've brought in."
"They look at the contributions during the marriage or the relationship. They also look at the contributions since separation." Factors such as contributions, custody of children, age, health, earning potential, income earning differential and potential inheritances are also all part of dividing a couple's assets. "But in the end, the court are wanting a settlement to be fair, just and equitable," Orman says.
For couples wanting to protect their assets in the event of separation, many couples use a binding financial agreement (BFA). Orman notes that BFAs are becoming more common for Australians who are wanting to protect their assets — especially people who are remarrying or have substantial wealth. "Having a BFA is a great tool to have if your relationship breaks down, and you're going to separate or divorce," Orman says, "because it gives a clear indication of what the assets, liabilities and superannuation were at the beginning of the relationship". "It gives a clear intention of what the separation [is] going to be at the [hypothetical] end of the relationship."
Others, such as financial adviser Stephen and his wife Bronwyn, are safeguarding their assets by another way: a testamentary trust in their wills. "If either one of us, or both of us were to die, our assets would move into that trust," Andrew says, " ...a surviving spouse would be a trustee of that trust, and a sibling of the deceased would become co-trustee". If both Andrew and Bronwyn died, their children would then become co-trustees at ages 25 and 28. "The whole idea is that these assets, then, are protected for our bloodline." "Our mindset was, we wanted to make sure our legacy of what we've created together is protected for our children," Andrew adds. "I think that's where the difference is with the testamentary trust: I still have control from the grave," Bronwyn says. "And I can stipulate who I want it to go to explicitly."
Damian attributes his and Katherine's successful breakup and division of assets to communication and trust. Ten years after their divorce, the exes are still friends. "I don't think we'd ever want to do anything wrong by each other," he says. "I think it's just basically sitting down and talking it through and working out what was the right thing to do ... to make each other's lives easier."
The division of assets is something that still plays on Kate's mind. She still has ongoing medical expenses, despite being in remission for five years. She requires regular physiotherapy for her lymphedema (swelling in the soft tissue caused by a build-up in the lymphatic system) and will continue to need specialist appointments and very expensive scans. "That fear of [cancer] coming back is very confronting – particularly when you're single," Kate says. "It has the potential to really derail someone financially."
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