Viral TikTok 'cookie challenge' tests family empathy, instinct, ethics

Fox News

05-05-2025

Parents throughout the country are putting their children's generosity, empathy and ethics to the test through the viral TikTok "cookie challenge."
The challenge leaves one parent without a cookie to see how children will respond.
Some toddlers happily share a cookie with their mom or dad — while others burst into tears, quickly scarf down their single treat or even suggest their parents buy more.
"I saw many different versions of the cookie challenge going around and was curious what my daughter's reaction would be," Haylee Jandreau of Portland, Maine, told Fox News Digital.
"She is sensitive, incredibly empathetic and very in tune with emotions. She regularly gets teary-eyed about dinosaurs being extinct, so I thought she would share with me right away."
Jandreau and her husband, Jacob, decided to try the challenge on their 4-year-old daughter, Maven. (See the video just above.)
When the child realized her mom was the only one who didn't get a cookie, the girl paused to consider the dilemma before taking a bite and suggesting that Jandreau get one "from Target."
"We had no idea what his reaction would be."
"She is wise beyond her four years and highly motivated by sugary treats," Jandreau said. "So, I should have known that she would have a well-thought-out plan to see me happy and enjoying a cookie, but not at her expense. Her mind is always going – and this was no exception."
Hannah Cook, a mother from Nashville, Tennessee, caught her son Judah's emotional reaction when she didn't get a cookie. He bawled for about two seconds and then handed his mom a cookie.
"A true empath," she captioned the video. "Love him so much."
Her video received more than 90 million views. (See the video at the top of this article.)
"We had no idea what his reaction would be," Cook told Fox News Digital. "We honestly weren't expecting what ended up happening. We had an inkling he'd share because that's what we prioritize in our house."
But is the cookie challenge any sort of measure of a child's capacity for empathy?
The short answer is no, according to Dallas-based licensed clinical social worker Mary Margaret Fair.
"Empathy is a complex emotion that requires a level of cognitive capacity, as well as emotional intelligence that develops throughout childhood," Fair said. "There is no scientific backing to this challenge. Thus, we are unsure if this challenge can measure empathy or if it's measuring something else."
Fair said basic empathy only starts to develop in children from 2 to 4 years old. Generosity or greediness aren't necessarily part of the equation either, she said.
"I would consider these as a learned behavior rather than empathy, which is a feeling," she said. "That said, there may not be a specific age [at] which this develops, though this would likely be taught within a structured learning environment [by] either other children or adults."
There are plenty of other factors that may be involved in a child's decision to share.
"I work with a lot of families from different socioeconomic backgrounds," Fair said.
"This cookie challenge is just a fun and lighthearted activity to do with your family."
"With this experience in mind, there could be a lot of factors at play in determining whether a child will or will not share in these types of challenges. Some factors include food security, current mood, time of day, relationships with parents or even cognitive or developmental limitations."
The only conclusion anyone can deduct from the cookie challenge is whether a child is willing to share a cookie in that moment, Fair said.
"Nothing more, from my perspective at least," Fair said. "This cookie challenge is just a fun and lighthearted activity to do with your family."
Cook agreed.
"I think every kid is different and each age is different," she said.
"[Judah's] only 2, and our expectations of him are not high for this age. But it does show us that what we're telling him and instilling in him is working."