‘Wasn't the plan': How Isibaya's Asavela Mqokiyana coped with divorce six months postpartum
Mqokiyana credited her and her ex-husband's strong co-parenting dynamic for helping her move forward.
Addressing unfounded rumours, Mqokiyana cleared the air about the timeline of her relationship, denying any involvement in her ex-husband's first marriage.
Just months after welcoming a new addition to the family, no first-time mom could truly be prepared to face the simultaneous reality of her marriage falling apart.
This was the reality of Isibaya actor Asavela Mqokiyana after welcoming her daughter with her former husband, Thabo.
Mqokiyana opened up about this in an interview with fellow actor Mapaseka Koetle in the latest episode of her Mommy Diaries podcast. As the actor's daughter turned two on Monday, Mqokiyana admitted that raising the toddler as a single mom was not part of the plan.
'It's hard navigating [parenting] alone because it wasn't the plan. The plan was to have a two-parent household. I didn't have that, so I was trying to build that for myself as well as for my inner child, and now it's stripped away. Like, that for me was just too hard and having to go through my divorce with a six-month-old baby… it was a lot and just having that whole vision broken down,' she told Koetle.
The mother of one said that even though she was 'breaking inside' and feeling like she was 'losing' herself, she still had to be responsible for her baby and rebuild her life.
'It was one of the hardest periods of my life, but she's grown now. She's a happy child, and I think I've done more than I can, and she's healed me as well. What has made it a bit easier is that we are fine with her father and co-parenting beautifully. He's always been a great father to his kids, so I never doubted that he could be that for her. In a sense, it does heal me cause I didn't grow up with my dad,' Mqokiyana said.
Watch a snippet of the interview here:
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The actor also addressed the trolls who claimed her marriage fell apart because she had allegedly taken her husband from his wife.
The claims swirled online as news of the couple's split at the beginning of 2024 spread, with other allegations that she was friends with his first wife and attended her ex's first wedding.
Mqokiyana denied the claims, stating that she was in matric when her husband was married to his first wife, adding that they only met when she was already on-screen on Isibaya.
'I was in matric, and he was living his whole life. We only met when I was on-screen, so where are these timelines that I was invited to weddings and so forth…,' she said. 'I am aware that they did invite the cast of the show, but I was not there.'
Elsewhere, she said: 'I was not even friends with her – I only saw this person years back. I don't even know what happened with them.'
Despite the flak she received because of the allegedly unfounded claims, Mqokiyana said she was unfazed because she had already had an opportunity to deal with everything with her family and friends behind the scenes.
'I'd already prepped because I knew it was going to come out. Someone would find a way—whether it was someone speaking on a podcast, or another way to put it out there. So, there's nothing I can do as long as we (Mqokiyana and her ex) are set and we are good. We'd spoken about how we're going to take care of our family and that the most important thing is how we'll move on going forward.'
Per a February City Press report, the divorce proceedings were quick because they wanted to go their separate ways, and had signed a prenuptial agreement. However, she did not disclose the details of the divorce or what led to the collapse of the union.
'There weren't any fights or anything like that. We just had one sit-down [to say] time is up. Some people do [wake up and decide it's over]. I don't think I'll share the why,' she told the publication. 'We are not people who like fighting. He is chilled, and I am chilled.'
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