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The Sun
3 minutes ago
- The Sun
I'm 19 and only want to have sex with women twice my age – is this normal?
DEAR DEIDRE: WOMEN my age just don't do it for me. I am only attracted to older ladies after I had awesome sex with a woman twice my age. Most of my mates have been dating girls for the last few years, but no one I have met has ever attracted me — that is until I met this older woman. I am 19 and I have never had a girlfriend my own age. This woman is 38. I met her when our train was delayed and we spent an hour on the platform chatting. I ended up buying her a cup of tea and we then boarded the train together. I couldn't believe my luck when she said she was travelling to the same city as me. She was sexy, sophisticated and knew exactly what she wanted. Once we got off the train, she invited me back to her flat. After a couple of drinks, we ended up having amazing sex. Afterwards I told her how old I was and she couldn't believe it. She thought I was 26. She said she was only into casual sex and didn't do serious relationships. We only met up again a couple of times. I was disappointed but it didn't last long as I met another stunning woman in a club a few days later. I knew she was older; she told me she was 41 but she didn't look it. We had a great time dancing and drinking. We have been messaging ever since and are going to meet up at the same club next weekend. I am hoping it will end up with us having sex. I don't want anything serious but wonder if it is normal for guys my age to be attracted to women who are a lot older. Understanding open relationships DEIDRE SAYS: It is not unusual to be attracted to older people. Older people are often more confident, which is attractive. They may also be sexually confident – but you are less likely to develop a lasting relationship with them. While there may be specific reasons behind your attraction, as long as you are both consenting adults and looking after your sexual health, it is probably not worth overthinking it. It's worth bearing in mind though that these women will have a lot more life experience than you. So do be wary of anyone who tries to take advantage. My support packs Learning To Love and Age-Gap Relationships fully explain the issues you may face. SHOULD I LET FRIEND HELP ME PARENT EX'S BABY? DEAR DEIDRE: ONE of my best friends says he loves me and, even though I am pregnant by another man, he doesn't mind that my baby is not his. I promised myself I was through with relationships after my partner left me when he found out I was expecting. I was heartbroken but decided to focus on my future with my child. My family and friends have been so supportive. This particular pal, who I've known since school, has been amazing. I am 27 and he is 29. I really do like him and he says he loves me. He is cool about me being pregnant by another man but I am scared of being hurt again. It has taken me a while to come to terms with my partner leaving and I don't need any more stress. I keep wondering whether to give him a chance and perhaps turn our friendship into something more. DEIDRE SAYS: There's no rush to turn your friendship into a relationship until you are both sure. He is a good friend who is being supportive and, if he is willing, he can continue as he is without you needing to take things further right now. It is important that you allow yourself time to settle into a routine of being a new mum once your baby arrives. It will also give your friend an opportunity to see the realities of the responsibilities that come with a newborn. FEAR I'M ABUSER JUST LIKE MY DAD DEAR DEIDRE: MY dad abused me when I was a child and I'm scared I have inherited the trait. My partner wants me to move in with her and her five-year-old son – but what if I turn into my father? I am a 33-year-old guy and my girlfriend is 30. We met on a dating app almost a year ago and get on really well. Her son seems to like me, too. His dad left when he was a baby and it has just been him and his mum ever since. My father was a big boozer, and I vowed I would never be like him – even though I do enjoy a drink. It is not a problem for me but I worry I have my dad's taste for it. While I love my partner and her son, I am frightened about living with them. I think perhaps I would be better off alone. It would be safer. DEIDRE SAYS: I am sorry you were abused. Like you, many survivors end up worrying that they are destined to hurt children because of what happened to them – but this is a myth. You are your own person, not your father, and you deserve to enjoy the kind of happy family life that was sadly denied to you in childhood. Talk to your partner about how to handle any family pressures before you make the decision to move in. Seek support through NAPAC – National Association For People Abused In Childhood ( 0808 801 0331). XMAS ALREADY RUINED BY KIDS DEAR DEIDRE: IT'S only August but my family are already arguing about Christmas. My adult son and daughter don't get on – and as usual I am stuck in the middle. I was widowed five years ago and ever since my husband died we have always alternated Christmases between my son and his kids and my daughter and her family. My daughter is already looking at venues to have Christmas dinner out but my son says he won't be going because it is too expensive. He says he will be having a budget Christmas in his own home. I'm 65. I have offered to pay for him and his family, just to keep the peace but he is a proud man and won't accept any charity from me. I have tried to reason with him but he just gets so angry so I have had to back down. I used to love Christmas but I am starting to think it is going to be a disaster this year. I may miss out on seeing my lovely grandchildren and I know they will be disappointed too. I just wish my son and daughter could clear the air. They still have months until the big day. Surely it isn't too much to ask. DEIDRE SAYS: It isn't, but it is important to stay neutral rather than get caught up in their battles, which may be childhood rivalries being replayed. Say how unhappy the arguing makes you and point out that Christmas is supposed to be the season of goodwill. They have time to sort out the issue themselves or to let it go unresolved but, either way, it is their choice. You may miss out on seeing one set of grandchildren this year and decide to be with the ones who need you most. Vow to make Christmas different next year. My support pack Worried About Christmas will help.
The Sun
3 minutes ago
- The Sun
I tested popular ice cream makers perfect for summer – the winner is just £45 and on offer right now
I HAVE been on a life-long quest to track down the perfect ice cream. It must be sweet, but not sickly. Creamy, but not claggy. My search has taken me far and wide, and the closest I ever got to perfection was on holiday in sun-soaked Sicily, but that's not really an option without winning the lottery. So I have accepted that if I want the perfect scoop, I must make it myself. Luckily, there is a vast array of ice-cream makers on the market. I tested six of them – five of those cost no more than £60, though there was a huge jump to the sixth, which came with a chilling £449 price tag. I've rated them out of five for performance and value. For my first foray into ice-cream making, I went for strawberry flavour, using the recipe below. Read on to find out which gadget will make you want to jump on a gondola and belt out 'Just one Cornetto', and which will have you scurrying back to the supermarket freezer section. 500ml, £22.99, Amazon THIS cute gadget costs little more than four tubs of shop-bought ice cream. But as with all the cheaper models, you have to pre-freeze the inner ice-cream bowl for at least 12 hours, otherwise you'll end up with a strawberry milkshake. It was easy to assemble and the mixture turned into ice cream in 15 minutes. But it lacked the airiness of the perfect scoop and had a slightly gritty texture. Rating: 2/5 TIP: When you remove the ice-cream bowl from the freezer, hold it with a towel, or you'll end up with frozen fingers. LAKELAND DIGITAL ICE-CREAM MAKER 1.8L, £44.99 (down from £49.99), Lakeland THIS gadget looks solid – the sort of machine you can rely on to get a job done. The default setting on the digital screen is 40 minutes and towards the end, I worried it had overdone the churning. But I needn't have worried, the result was a deliciously creamy scoop that looked gorgeous on a cone, with a lovely silky sheen. And it tasted as good as it looked, with no trace of that synthetic tang that can spoil some shop-bought ice creams. Rating: 5/5 MAGIMIX LE GLACIER ICE-CREAM MAKER 1.1L, £60, Argos THIS is a compact, good-looking machine that does exactly what you ask of it. It was no slowcoach, either. After just 20 minutes, my ice cream had reached a perfect consistency. It tasted really good and was that perfect mix of light and creamy, while still achieving an authentic ice-cream texture. I'd recommend this one if you have limited time, plus the clever 'feed tube' feature on the lid makes adding your ingredients a doddle. Rating: 4/5 PROCOOK ICE-CREAM MAKER 1.5L, £49, AT 1,500ml this machine has a decent capacity, but when I filled the bowl up to the top, it seemed to struggle to build up the texture. Reducing the amount of the mixture by about a third made all the difference. After 45 minutes, the ice cream looked and tasted lovely. But it was lighter in texture than some of the others – more along the lines of a soft serve. If you prefer an ice cream with a little more bite, then this might not be the one for you. Rating: 3/5 475ml, £29.99, Lakeland MOST of the ice-cream makers I tested were easy and straightforward to use, but my stress levels started to rise with this machine. It is quite small and fiddly, and the paddle kept falling off as I was assembling it. To be fair, once it was up and running it was fine, and after 25 minutes the ice cream looked ready. As with the Procook, this one came out more like a soft serve in texture – too soft for my liking – but you can't argue with the great value for money. Rating: 2/5 MAGIMIX GELATO EXPERT ICE-CREAM MAKER 2L, £448.79, John Lewis THIS sleek machine really looks the business – but it's hard to see past that hefty price tag. With its in-built freezer system, you don't need to bother with putting the bowl in the freezer for 12 hours beforehand. That is, of course, a huge plus. The cycle lasted 60 minutes, but the finished product was well worth the wait. You could see instantly that this produced a top-class dessert. The texture was beautifully smooth and, as for the taste, it was like nectar from the gods. Rating: 4/5 AND THE WINNER IS… LET'S hear it for the wonderful Lakeland Digital machine. The Magimix Gelato Expert delivered equally delicious-tasting results, but for sheer value for money at a tenth of the price of that one, Lakeland's brilliant gadget takes the first prize. It produced ice cream that was divinely creamy as well as light and airy – and gorgeously flavoursome. One bite and I was instantly transported back to the sunshine of Sicily. How to make strawberry ice cream YOU NEED: Standard punnet of fresh strawberries, 200g of sugar, 500ml of cream, 250ml of milk, dash of vanilla essence, dash of lemon juice METHOD: Depending on your machine, make sure the bowl has been pre-chilled if necessary. First, crush the strawberries with a fork. Don't be tempted to use a blender, because the ice-cream has a better texture with little pieces of fruit running through it. Mix in the sugar and let it stand for 15 minutes. Chuck the mixture into a bowl filled with the cream and milk, add a dash of vanilla essence and lemon juice and put into the fridge. The mixture will be cold after about half an hour, but I recommend leaving it for an hour or so if possible. It will thicken up and that will give the ice-cream maker a head start. For our tests I poured the mixture into each of the six ice-cream makers and pressed the button. It took between 15 minutes to an hour for the machines to do their thing For me, there were clear winners and losers – all from the same mixture. But to ensure I hadn't been influenced by price or appearance, I conducted a blind taste test. My husband, Keith, and daughter, Dulci, tasted each of the ice creams and gave their verdict. And I can tell you the family was unanimous in its findings. And I can now report – with happiness – I have found a machine that magically transforms a bowl of liquid into heaven-sent ice cream.
The Sun
3 minutes ago
- The Sun
Wilko's £3.99 hot weather buy will keep your dog cool while lazing on patio this August – and no water is needed
WILKO'S has a cheap item on sale to help your dog to stay cool lying on the patio during the hot days this August, and you don't need water. This buy is paw-fect for pet owners gearing up for the temperatures that are set to reach 34C this week. 2 2 The Clever Paws Watermelon Fruit Pet Cooling Mat for £3.99 from Wilko's is great to keep dogs cool in the heat. It does not require electricity or water, making it an easy solution to help animals cope with the hotter days. The mat is non-toxic for animals, with a gel inside that is automatically activated. According to the production description, you can "simply place it on the floor and let them relax in style". This cooling mat comes in a fun fruity watermelon design, and measures 60 - 70 cm in size. There are also some other cooling mats from the homeware high street retailer that are selling for £3.99. Amongst those include the Abstract Tropical Cooling Pet Mat, that is also in a circular shape, and comes with a "funky vibrant pattern". There is also the Clever Paws Pet Cooling Mat, which is a medium size, that comes as just a a blue rectangular mat. This mat is said to have a design that is easily storable, with a cool gel core, and can be used alone or on top of a standard pet bed, measuring 40 - 50 cm and 45 cm in width. Additionally, Wilko's has a multicolour Kiwi and a Strawberry Pets Cooling Matt, that are one pound more at £4.99. How to keep pets safe during a heatwave The different cooling mats can be used at home or while travelling as they can easily be folded up. They are therefore useful when going away with your pets over the summer holidays. Earlier this summer, The Sun test seven of the cooling mats that are being sold around the UK for 2025. The best overall was found to be the Sunny Daze Pop-Up Dog Shelter which is going for £15. The Wilko's Clever Paws Watermelon Fruit Pet Cooling Mat was crowned the best budget item buy. People have even been seen using pet cooling mats, which have been hailed a "game-changer" to help sleep in the hot weather. One Sun reporter has opted for a £6 one from Amazon, which received dozens of five-star reviews online. It comes after Home Bargains was seen selling another cheap item that is great for keeping pets cool during the hot weather. For just 79p, Home Bargains has had a Pets Cooling Bandana available for pets to deal with the warmer days. Available in small, medium or large, this accessory can be used on cats or dogs to wrap around the necks.
