I click with my new man on every level – except he doesn't want to have sex
I am a very sensual person. My former partner and I had the best sex I've ever had in my life – however, he could be very distant at times and had poor emotional intelligence and communication with me (unlike my current partner). I have never had this issue with anyone else, so although I understand his vulnerability, I'm unsure what else to do other than wait. For now, I am willing to be patient. I have never had this issue with anyone else so although I understand his vulnerability, I'm unsure other than my plan to wait.
You are smart and empathic, and you are correct about the need to be patient and allow the circumstances and reasons to unfold. Not everyone would be so patient and understanding. At present, you seem to be balancing what your needs are against his, but it will be important to make sure his very specific requirements do not become all-consuming. Think about your caregiving qualities and consider whether they are healthy or not; if there is a compulsive aspect to them you may want to pull back. People who overgive – especially when they do it compulsively – often become burnt out, and end up being undervalued. And the recipients of overgiving can fall into a state of learned helplessness, which is not a healthy situation for either partner.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.
If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don't send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.
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Daily Mail
3 hours ago
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Terrifying 'zombie squirrels' with oozing flesh pods on their bodies invade US backyards
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Daily Mail
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Daily Mail
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From May 2024 to 2025 alone, Texas DEA agents reported 15 nitazene overdose deaths in people aged 17 to 59, the highest death count since the first drug seizure in 2022. Lucci's friend Hunter Clement, 21, was one of them. He took two pills sold to him in April, one a counterfeit Xanax and the other a counterfeit Percocet. He also overdosed and died. Most standard post-mortem drug screens do not test for nitazenes, and the local authorities in Houston did not have the type of comprehensive panel that would detect nitazenes So, the two moms took the pills they found near their sons' bodies to a specialized lab for testing. When the results came back as nitazenes, the women said they'd never heard of the drug. 'I'll never forget when the detective called,' McCallister, who has a background in pharmaceuticals, said. 'I had him repeat the name twice. I had him spell it two or three times. I was looking for an active ingredient in there, something I recognized the name of, and I didn't.' 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He had a few rough months, but he never overdosed or needed Narcan. And his personality hadn't changed much. From December through his death in April, he was the same son they knew and loved, his mom told the Daily Mail. But that night in April, his parents feared Hunter had made a sharp turn down the wrong path. 'The next day, when I went to work, he was sleeping. My husband went and checked on him around noon. He was sitting up in his bed,' Clement told the Daily Mail. 'And then, when I got home, I found him in his bed, and he must have taken one of each [counterfeit oxycodone and counterfeit Xanax].' The first version, or analog, of nitazenes was developed in the 1950s as a potent opioid painkiller, but was never used in medicine due to its dangerously high overdose risk. But still deadlier analogs of the original, like N-pyrrolidino protonitazene, which killed Lucci and Hunter, have resurfaced since 2019, infiltrating the illicit drug supplies of Europe, the UK, and the US. 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With the threat of a new wave of the opioid epidemic taking form, parents like McCallister and Clement have channeled their grief into an awareness campaign by sharing their sons' stories. 'Sadly, it just takes one pill, or one line of something, or, heaven forbid, in the future, a hit off of a vape,' McCallister said. 'I mean, this is very dangerous territory we're wading into.'
