Another famous face declares Áras bid -- but he's not the first bird-brain to run
However, the top personality may well get out his spirit level and do a bit of tinkering before he moves in. Declaring his interest as he launched the new Chadwicks superstore in his home district of Sallynoggin, Dustin the Turkey said he believes he has what it takes to replace Michael D in Áras An Uachtaráin.
'The President thing is very important,' he says. 'But I have to keep my wing in at the building also, you know? I was one of the frontrunners. I was the first sort of celebrity to run for President against Mary Robinson and all them other people. In a week where the race to be the next President of Ireland has been heating up, one famous face from the world of celebrity has declared his interest in moving into the Áras. Pic: RTÉ
'I have to say Mary was the best choice and she did do Ireland proud, but the bang of feet off that woman, I'm not joking, you. And she was putting a torch in the window welcoming everyone in. A place in the northside and you're leaving your door open? You're just going to be robbed.
'Around 15 paintings went missing, 14 statues from the garden and two of Michael D Higgins's dogs.'
So are the rumours true that Dustin is going to run again?
'I am going to run,' says the Den favourite. 'I just have to get rid of Joe Duffy at the moment,' and there is the other great opening that Dustin has his eye on – the hot seat of Liveline. 'I just have to get rid of Joe Duffy at the moment,' Dustin remarked. Pic: Mary Browne via RTÉ
'Sure Joe Duffy's job is stupid,' he says. 'All you have to do is say: 'Mildred phoned in there and she had a coffee and it was too hot. And funnily enough, Sheila is on the line and she said her coffee was too cold.'
'And then people go mad and you get Baby Bear to ring in and say his coffee was just perfect. It's the easiest job in the world.' Dustin adds that 'Joe was the ringmaster and we were all the clowns that were phoning in.'
With names such as Katie Hannon, Philip Boucher-Hayes and Dermot Whelan in the frame, the race to the Liveline chair will be a hotly contested one. With names such as Katie Hannon, Philip Boucher-Hayes and Dermot Whelan in the frame, the race to the Liveline chair will be a hotly contested one. Pic: RTE
And given that Dustin is a former RTÉ employee, in this time of crisis and flux at the national broadcaster, he believes that the top brass at Montrose will be looking carefully at his CV.
'I genuinely think that I have a good chance of getting it,' he says. 'Because let's face it, Joe Duffy is a turkey and I am a turkey, so why not replace a turkey with a turkey?'
But there's one person Dustin might give the Liveline up for. 'I think RTÉ should bring back Ryan Tubridy,' he says. 'I think the man is a genius. If they'd given him another 15 years on The Late Late Show, he could have been the next Anton Savage or Pat Kenny. That's how good that man was. 'I think RTÉ should bring back Ryan Tubridy,' Dustin says. 'I think the man is a genius. Pic:'But life in RTÉ is good, I mean they have the longest-running comedy show in the world – Fair City has been on screen for over 30 years. It's one of the best comedies I've ever seen anyway.'
He adds: 'I offered to bring The Den back and make some decent television, but they said: 'No, that might keep the people happy, so we won't do that.''
But the real reason The Den didn't come back, Dustin insists, is that like the Gallagher brothers of Oasis, there is a serious rift in the camp. 'Zig and Zag weren't talking to each other for legal reasons to do with Vogue Williams,' he says. As for his plans for his Presidential role, Dustin has big ambitions. Pic: PA Wire
He adds: 'I don't want to go into it. Vogue's a good friend of mine, she's 79th in line to the throne.'
At Chadwicks in Sallynoggin, Dustin was joined by Olympic boxer and brand ambassador Jack Marley, and the bird-brained builder insists the area in south Dublin is where he was born.
'That's where the egg was found,' he says. 'And plus, the first bird I brought to a Debs was called Sally Noggin. She was lovely. Well, if you don't include the Seoige sisters. That was an expensive night, both of them wanted to go with me, so that's two orchids, two boxes of chocolates, and you know, you're up in Moore Street last minute.'
As for his plans for his Presidential role, Dustin has big ambitions. 'I think people haven't been looked after equally in this country,' he says. 'I would just make sure everyone is more equal. In other words, I'd be siphoning money off meself.'
In fact, he would turn to those building skills to transform Ireland's Presidential seat. 'I'd turn it into a bowling alley and make some money – I mean, no one needs to live in a house that size, let's be honest,' he says.
'I mean, I'd just like to be President, and I have represented Ireland at the highest level – Eurovision. And I am so big in Azerbaijan, I can't walk down the street in Baku.'
Mickey D did do a good job, but nobody wants to listen to him doing poems. And we both have the same tailor as we're both the same size. When Louis Copeland is knocking up a suit for Mickey D, he knocks one up for me too and only charges me half.'
It is only when I ask a probing question about bird flu that Dustin becomes enraged. 'Are you blaming me for bird flu?' he says. 'That was one night. I went to Coppers, and it wasn't my fault that those women from Tipperary were throwing themselves at me.
'They'd just won the camogie final. I do look after myself, I've trimmed down – I usually do that coming up to Christmas.'
And if his campaign for the Presidency fails, Dustin still has his trade to fall back on. 'I started Mrs Murphy's gates in 1990, but I had to take three months off for the World Cup to get over the shock. I am due to finish it by 2029,' he says.
'I'm doing another gig, the Children's Hospital, that's run over slightly, so I won't go into that.
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