'You carry ghosts': Doctor's admission of 'falling apart' after patient's death goes viral

Time of India

26-05-2025

The death of a loved one is catastrophic for families. However, losing a patient can be devastating for doctors too. Recently, a doctor's gut-wrenching confession about spiraling into depression went viral on social media.
Taking to Instagram on May 16,
Dr. Dmitry Yaranov
shared a rather despondent video and wrote a heartfelt message on how helpless and sad a doctor feels when they fail to save a patient from the jaws of death.
Set to a hauntingly emotional soundtrack, the video opens with Dr. Yaranov standing still, his face etched with quiet sorrow. He doesn't speak—but his expression says it all. As the music swells, powerful words fade into view on the screen: 'No one ever tells you how to cope with losing a patient.' The silent grief in his eyes echoes a truth many in the medical field carry silently—one that lingers long after the monitors go quiet.
by Taboola
by Taboola
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In the caption, he poured his heart out. Dr. Yaranov reflected on the hidden aftermath of medical failure—a reality he admitted had taken him sixteen years to confront publicly. He described the quiet rituals that follow the death of a patient: stepping out of the room, offering a subtle nod to the nurse, and walking into the next patient's room as if nothing had happened. Yet, beneath the surface, the weight of that loss lingers.
When the world isn't watching, he shared, that's when the breakdown begins. Whether in the car, the call room, or even tucked away in a supply closet, the emotional toll reveals itself. Tears come freely. Self-doubt takes over. He replays every moment, questioning his actions, his decisions, and even his worth. The pain isn't just mental—it settles into the body, a silent burden carried in the chest and gut, one that doesn't fade with time.
This loss, he implied, doesn't simply disappear. It's absorbed into the rhythm of the work. Still, he continues to show up—driven by care, commitment, and an enduring sense of responsibility. In his words, the tools of the profession go far beyond medical instruments. Alongside the stethoscope, he carries the weight of every patient he couldn't save—silent reminders of the human cost behind every clinical decision.
'No one tells you this about the job: You don't just carry a stethoscope. You carry ghosts...' he wrote.
His post resonated with thousands, shedding light on the emotional cost of medicine—a truth often hidden behind the sterile walls of hospitals and the stoic demeanor of those who serve.
The post went viral, gaining over 500K likes. One Instagram user tried to console him. 'You have also saved thousands of lives, so let that be a comfort in those moments of grief,' she wrote.
Another reminisced at how her mother's doctor had cried with her after her demise. 'The doctor cried just as hard as I did when my mom passed away when I was 15. I remember his hug. He told me, 'Sorry.'
Dr. Dmitry Yaranov is a cardiologist associated with Baptist Memorial Healthcare.