New York Times therapist tackles whether family should keep toddler away from Donald Trump-supporting grandparents
A New York Times "Ask the Therapist" piece tackled whether a liberal family should keep their two-year-old son away from his Trump-supporting grandparents.
"My husband and I are raising our wonderful 2-year-old son," the person seeking advice asked. "He isn't close with his family, while I have a somewhat closer relationship with mine, particularly my dad and stepmom. However, they are Trump voters, and my husband doesn't want our son spending time with them because they endorse values we do not share."
The piece, headlined "I Hate My Parents' Politics. Should I Keep My Son Away?" was published Thursday and included the reader's question and a response written by Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist.
"We are liberal, and our occupations are currently being negatively impacted by Trump administration changes, which has only heightened my husband's concerns. While I don't entirely disagree with his perspective, it's still important to me that our son has the opportunity to know his grandparents. I've made it clear to my husband that he's welcome to sit out visits if he prefers, but he remains uncomfortable with this arrangement," the parent asking Gottlieb for advice continued.
Gottlieb said that exposing a child to different viewpoints could be valuable.
"That's why it's not just OK for your son to be around people with different worldviews — it can be valuable," she said.
"Moreover, by barring your son — or excluding himself — from visits with the grandparents, your husband would be modeling values that I'm guessing he wouldn't ordinarily endorse or want to pass along to your child, such as seeing others in a very narrowly defined way," Gottlieb continued.
Gottlieb said the husband should consider what their son might think when he's older about being cut off from his grandparents.
"Keeping your son from his grandparents neither protects nor connects, but giving him access does both. You can, of course, attempt to set some ground rules. If visits veer into ideological territory that makes time together tense, you can say to your father and stepmother something like: 'We so enjoy being with you and watching you spend time with your grandson. Because we don't agree on politics and want these visits to be pleasant, we'd like to avoid sharing political opinions when we're together,'" Gottlieb continued.
A similar New York Times Ethicist column responded to a reader's question about how Democratic voters should deal with close relatives who supported Trump in November.
The Times author encouraged the person who was troubled by their mother being a Trump supporter to remember that people are much more than "the sum of their political views."
Another Times Ethicist piece from October responded to a reader's question about whether it was appropriate to leave the country if the "wrong" candidate became president.
Originally published as New York Times therapist tackles whether family should keep toddler away from Donald Trump-supporting grandparents
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October 5, 2024: Musk makes first campaign appearance at Trump rally Returning to the site of his assassination attempt in Butler, Pennsylvania, Trump addressed crowds with Musk – wearing a black 'Make America Great Again' cap – jumping up and down on stage. 'As you can see, I'm not just MAGA, I'm dark MAGA,' Musk said to applause. Weeks later, Musk pledged $US1 million a day to a lottery for voters in swing states who signed his America PAC petition supporting the First and Second Amendments, which protect free speech and the right to bear arms respectively. November 5, 2024: Trump's victory secures Musk's unelected role Shortly after Musk spent election night with Trump and other MAGA supporters at Mar-a-Lago, Trump announced Musk and 39-year-old billionaire and former presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy would lead a new Department of Government Efficiency. Loading Trump likened the department, colloquially referred to as DOGE – a reference to Musk's favoured internet meme – to the Manhattan Project, implying the unofficial federal government department, intended to operate as an independent advisory group slashing waste and spending, would be as transformative in nature as the creation of the atomic bomb. Reports that Trump – who travelled to Texas to watch SpaceX's Starship launch alongside Musk that month – and Musk spent 'almost every day together' also emerged at this time, as did reports Musk had held and sat in on meetings with foreign leaders. November 16, 2024: Trump's inner circle dines on McDonald's on a jet Musk's place among Trump's most-trusted was confirmed with a photo shared by presidential son Donald Trump Jr en route to an Ultimate Fighting Championship event in New York. 'Make America Health Again starts TOMORROW,' Trump Jr. wrote alongside the snap, which shows Musk, Trump, Trump Jr, Republican House speaker Mike Johnson and Robert F. Kennedy Jr, the then-nominee for health secretary, dining on McDonald's meals at 35,000 feet. December 23, 2024: Trump addresses complaints about Musk's role 'No, he's not taking the presidency,' Trump told an Arizona audience at a rally less than one month before his second inauguration. 'All the different hoaxes. The new one is that president Trump has ceded the presidency to Elon Musk. No, no, that's not happening.' Trump and Musk's unsuccessful attempt at stopping a spending bill that would prevent a government shutdown from passing in Congress had reportedly left Democrats and Republicans exhausted at Musk's political influence. That same month, The New York Times reported Musk had been renting a $US2000 a night cottage on Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate, putting him within a few hundred feet of the then-president-elect's main residence. January 20, 2025: Musk's questionable salute overshadows Trump's inauguration It's rare that bridesmaids outshine the bride on the big day, but Musk's actions on stage at a Make America Great Again event after Trump's swearing-in well and truly stole the president's thunder. After attending Trump's address inside Washington DC's Capitol rotunda, Musk addressed a crowd of Trump devotees at Capital Arena, revving up the audience as he took the stage. He then raised his arm in a gesture that resembled a Nazi salute, which defenders claimed was Musk merely trying to thank the crowd. He performed the gesture again that same day, though he denied either act was a Nazi salute. February 11, 2025: Musk brings son to watch Trump sign executive order Musk's son then-three-year-old X Æ A-Xii pulled faces and put his hand on Trump's desk in the Oval Office, watching on with his father as Trump signed an executive order seeking 'large-scale reductions' in the federal government workforce. Singer Grimes, with whom Musk shares X Æ A-Xii and two other children, later alleged on X that she was not aware of her son's public appearance until photos of it emerged on social media. 'He should not be in public like this,' Grimes, who was in an on-off relationship with Musk for four years until 2022, wrote on X. 'I did not see this, thank u for alerting me. But I'm glad he was polite. Sigh.' February 20, 2025: Musk wields sparkly chainsaw at DOGE progress update Musk accessorised his black Make America Great Again cap with a bedazzled chainsaw during an appearance at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Maryland, when he criticised the Biden administration and said he had gone from political 'neutrality' to aligning himself with Trump because he felt he had 'no choice'. But back to 'the chainsaw for democracy', which is what Musk called it after he took the stage with the prop wielded as if he was slashing government spending. It had been gifted to the billionaire by Argentinian President Javier Milei, who had used it himself as a symbol of cost-cutting measures. 'Legalise comedy … It seems like we should have a good time, you know,' Musk told the crowd, spruiking DOGE cuts that he claimed would help save Medicare and Social Security. March 4, 2025: Trump shouts out Musk in Congress address 'DOGE, perhaps you've heard of it,' Trump said to Congress before singling out Musk, who was watching from the third row of the Republican gallery in a rare suit and tie. 'Thank you, Elon. You're working very hard,' Trump said, adding, 'He didn't need this. He didn't need this. We appreciate it.' Loading Gesturing to the Democrats' gallery, Trump continued: 'Everybody here, even this side, appreciates it, I believe. They just don't want to admit that.' Seven weeks into Trump's presidency, Musk – who responded by saluting Trump with his right hand and nodded his head – was, according to a Marist/NPR poll, facing a 50 per cent disapproval rating. In March, DOGE cut the Department of Education's staffing by roughly half and suspended USAID, and also announced other plans to curb what Trump called 'appalling waste' in further departments. 'My administration will reclaim power from this unaccountable bureaucracy, and we will restore true democracy to America again,' Trump said. 'Any federal bureaucrat who resists this change will be removed from office immediately because we are draining the swamp. It's very simple. And the days of rule by unelected bureaucrats are over.' In his address to Congress, Trump also referred to Musk, who was not elected by US voters to his position, as the 'head' of DOGE, despite his administration previously arguing in court that Musk was not the leader of DOGE or an employee of the department. Musk, per the Trump administration's court argument, was a senior adviser to DOGE without any decision-making authority. Former US Digital Service official Amy Gleason had been named DOGE's administrator the week prior. Days later, it was reported that Musk and Secretary of State Marco Rubio had clashed in a heated confrontation, in which Musk reportedly accused Rubio of not being good for much except appearing on television, and Trump stepped in to defend Rubio. It was also earlier alleged that Musk and Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent had a World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE)-style shouting match in April. Musk took a public swipe at Trump's top trade adviser, Peter Navarro, separately that same month on X. March 11, 2025: White House doubles as Tesla showroom The South Lawn was effectively turned into a Tesla dealership as the White House hosted an event showcasing the vehicles, which elsewhere in the US and overseas had been subject to firebombs from demonstrators in protest of Musk's influence. Critics claimed the event was a violation of federal laws prohibiting government employees from endorsing specific products due to ethics. April 1, 2025: April Fool's Day election outcome no joke Musk, who wore a cheese hat on his head to a rally in Wisconsin in honour of a local custom, spent more than $US20 million trying to get a conservative judge elected to the midwestern state's supreme court. Democratic endorsee Susan Crawford was ultimately elected with a 10 per cent majority. Hours later, reports emerged that Musk was planning to step back from his position in the Trump administration. April 30, 2025: Musk attends what could be his final cabinet meeting The Tesla chief executive was given a round of applause by Trump's cabinet secretaries, with reports suggesting that was his last day physically working at the White House. Analysis later released by Politico found Trump ceased talking about Musk on his Truth Social platform entirely by April, in comparison to his peak of 11 weekly mentions of Musk in February. May 1, 2025: Musk confirms he's stepping back from DOGE One day after the cabinet meeting, Musk fronted a room of reporters in the White House and gave his most extensive remarks to the gathered media since launching DOGE. Loading As a 'special government employee', the world's richest man was barred from working more than 130 days in a calendar year for the administration. Musk was appointed to his role in January, meaning that period would have ended in late May. 'In the grand scheme of things, I think we've been effective. Not as effective as I'd like. I think we could be more effective,' Musk said at a press conference. 'But we've made progress.' Musk pledged to reduce federal government spending by $US1 trillion with DOGE, and boasted the department had so far achieved at least $US150 billion of savings, though audits suggest the actual figure is far smaller. May 27, 2025: Musk criticises Trump's 'One Big Beautiful Bill' In an interview with CBS News almost a month after stepping back from DOGE, Musk said he was 'disappointed' in the centrepiece of Trump's legislative agenda – the One Big Beautiful Bill Act, Trump's signature tax and spending bill being considered by the Senate after passing the House Republicans in April. He also told The Washington Post that DOGE was the 'whipping boy for everything'. Two weeks earlier, he had attended Trump's four-day trip to the Middle East, and told the Qatari Economic Forum he would be travelling to Washington and having dinner with Trump before returning to Silicon Valley. He also said he was spending up to two days a week on government work. May 31, 2025: Musk's subdued White House farewell complete with black eye and gold key 'He does love our country, I know that very much,' Trump said of Musk while presenting him with a golden key to the White House. 'He's all about the USA. Americans owe him a great debt of gratitude.' Trump said the tech titan had endured 'outrageous abuse and slander and lies and attacks' in the line of duty, echoing Musk's recent public lamentations. Notably, Musk was sporting a black DOGE hat, a black T-shirt with 'The Dogefather' on it, and a black eye he later said was courtesy of a play-fight with X Æ A-Xii. 'This is not the end of DOGE but really the beginning,' Musk said. 'I liken it to a sort of Buddhism. It's like a way of life.' One day earlier, Musk denied a New York Times report that he was taking so much ketamine he couldn't urinate properly. 'To be clear, I am NOT taking drugs! The New York Times was lying their ass off. I tried *prescription* ketamine a few years ago and said so on X, so this not [sic] even news. It helps for getting out of dark mental holes, but haven't taken it since then,' he wrote on X. June 4, 2025: Musk ramps up attack on Trump's 'beautiful bill' Less than 100 hours after leaving the White House, Musk called Trump's sweeping spending and tax bill a 'disgusting abomination' that will increase the deficit. 'I'm sorry, but I just can't stand it any more,' the billionaire wrote on X. 'This massive, outrageous, pork-filled Congressional spending bill is a disgusting abomination … Shame on those who voted for it: you know you did wrong. You know it.' Loading He also claimed on X: 'It will massively increase the already gigantic budget deficit to $[US]2.5 trillion (!!!) and burden America [sic] citizens with crushingly unsustainable debt.' White House spokeswoman Karoline Leavitt dismissed Musk's criticism, saying in a briefing that Trump was aware of Musk's feelings on the matter and 'it doesn't change the president's opinion. This is one big, beautiful bill, and he's sticking to it.' June 5, 2025: Musk channels Quentin Tarantino in fresh attack on Trump 'Call your Senator, Call your Congressman,' Musk wrote on X, urging Americans to speak up and 'KILL' Trump's 'Big Beautiful Bill'. 'Bankrupting America is NOT ok! KILL the BILL,' he added, before sharing an image of Uma Thurman from Tarantino's Kill Bill films.
