Aggression, anxiety and bedwetting: Gaza's children bear the psychological cost of war

The National

a day ago

Umm Faraj Abu Zubeida, a Gazan mother of four, says her seven-year-old son wakes up screaming at night, terrified that Israeli war planes will drop bombs on their home.
The family were displaced when an air strike destroyed their house in Rafah. They survived because they left minutes before the bombing.
'He tells me I'm going to die,' the mother told The National. She said the boy's 14-year-old brother has also 'lost hope in everything'.
'He was an excellent student, now he says nothing matters,' she said of the elder child.
The boys' behavioural problems are not isolated cases in Gaza. Inside makeshift shelters perched amid the rubble of destroyed homes and schools, children are struggling to grow into young adults while bearing the psychological scars of war.
For many children, bread is prized so highly that it is hidden under mattresses, water is chased like a treasure, and the nights are punctuated by screams from the bereaved and wounded.
More than 21 months of horrific violence have fractured families and left deep emotional wounds on the war's youngest victims, parents and psychologists told The National.
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The conflict has given rise to an array of negative behaviours, including 'aggression, anxiety, and a complete loss of interest in education', said Dr Hamoda AbedAl'al, a psychologist working with displaced Palestinians.
'These young lives are not being lived – they're being endured,' he said, lamenting the collapse of Gaza 's education and social systems.
The most common behavioural concerns include patterns of defiance and rebellion, hoarding food, bedwetting, aggression towards siblings and peers, withdrawal from learning, severe anxiety and disrupted sleep, Dr AbedAl'al said.
'We're seeing behavioural disorders that stem from the destruction of psychological and nutritional security. These children had schools, clubs and daily routines. Education is not just academic, it shapes values and behaviour. Without it, and without basic stability, we see a surge in negative behaviours.'
Dr AbedAl'al shared the story of a seven-year-old girl who lost her father in 2019 and has been displaced from her home by the fighting.
'She was consumed by sadness. She didn't talk, didn't smile, didn't trust anyone,' he said.
Through psychological support and inclusion at a learning centre, the youngster began to open up. But while professional care can reduce the weight of the conflict, the pain may never fully leave, Dr AbedAl'al told The National.
Father of three Ali Al Attla, displaced from Rafah and living in Al Mawasi near Khan Younis, said he had watched his children slip away from the life they once knew.
'Before the war, my children went to school, studied and played freely. Today, my daughter hides bread because she fears not eating later. My son no longer opens his school books. He was so diligent, but how can a child focus on school when survival is all that matters?'
Israeli restrictions on the entry of aid into Gaza, along with damage to essential water, sanitation and health systems have fuelled the territory's hunger and health crisis. Last month the UN's children agency said the number of malnourished children was rising at an 'alarming rate'.
The daily burden of securing food and water has turned many children into caretakers and providers. 'They no longer ask for toys or outings. Their only wish is to eat, and to eat enough,' Mr Al Attla said.
'My children used to wake up with joy. Now, they wake up wondering if there's anything to eat. Their voices are always raised, as they want their screams to be louder than their hunger, louder than their fear.'
Iman Helmy, a 28-year-old mother of three, said she could see the change in her children in their eyes.
'My son used to be gentle. Now, I get complaints every day that he hits other children. He fights constantly. My daughter, just seven, now spends her day waiting to fill water containers. What kind of childhood is this?'
Ms Helmy's son, like many children in Gaza, is showing signs of extreme psychological stress: bedwetting, lying to obtain more food and compulsively counting from one to 10.
'They've become very defiant. They always refuse to do what I ask. There's constant rebellion; they won't listen to me,' she said.
'My son hides food and says he never got any. He's not lying to be dishonest, he's lying because he's still hungry. He wakes up in fear at night. How do I comfort him when I can't even provide a secure place to sleep?'