Single mothers rebuild their lives for a more independent future

The Star

11-05-2025

PETALING JAYA: Facing soaring living costs, single mothers are rewriting their stories by cutting expenses, rebuilding confidence and reclaiming independence.
This includes avoiding the burden of any 'joint debts' with their former spouses.
In the case of a divorcee known only as Nina, she opted to take ownership of the house when her marriage ended five years ago.
She had thought it would be better than having to depend on alimony.
Little did she know that her ex-husband had already set the stage for his next move: a 'financial ambush' that would leave her drowning in debt.
Her former husband convinced Nina to take out a RM500,000 loan, using the house as collateral.
He had told her that his business was struggling. But in truth, he had a mistress and even children with the woman.
His plan was to disappear with the cash, leaving Nina to settle the loan.
Fortunately for Nina, her parents and siblings intervened just as she was about to sign the loan documents.
They saw through the ruse and helped give her a fresh start.
Nina was jobless then as she had quit her previous job as secretary to take care of her only child, who is a slow learner.
After the divorce, Nina took a lowly-paid job as she had been away from the employment market for too long then.
But she worked diligently and now has a full-time job with a stable income in the private sector. Her child has also enrolled in university after much hard work.
'I am glad that I took chances after the divorce. Life was hard after the marriage ended. But now, I have regained my confidence and independence,' said Nina, who is in her 40s.
Another single mother, Diyana Shahrum, 33, was saddled with debts as her ex-spouse had used her name to apply for personal loans and make hire purchases.
Now, she is embroiled in a court case over the matter.
She has also done much research on how to navigate tricky situations which could lead her to bankruptcy.
Diyana, who is a social media strategist, took steps as well to ensure her three children are well provided for.
'My ex-husband had wanted to put a claim for our house as it was listed as a matrimonial property with both our names on it.
'But after seeking lawyers' advice, I managed to prove to the court that I was the sole payer of the house. He was removed from the joint owner's list. This ensured that my children have a roof over their heads, instead of me having to sell the house and 'divide' the 'joint asset',' she said.
Diyana advised women in the same situation to educate themselves on financial matters.
'When a couple gets married, they vow to take care of each other. But this does not ring true all the time,' she said.
As such, she said there would be women struggling with their finances to care for their children.
Diyana called for a system for the affected spouses to report about such late payment.
'There should also be an organisation that could remind the former spouses to pay child support,' she added.