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The Sun
20 minutes ago
- The Sun
I've lost my family because I cheated on my wife instead of sorting out our problems
DEAR DEIDRE: I'VE lost my family and the chance of a happy future with the love of my life because of my stupidity. I cheated on my wife instead of sorting out our problems, and the woman I left her for dumped me because I didn't want kids with her. The harsh truth is, I've messed up everything and I have nobody to blame but myself. I'm an idiot and a coward, and don't know how to get my life back on track. I'm 47 and was married for 15 years. We had two daughters. But five years ago, our marriage went through a rocky patch. I was under a lot of stress at work and took it out on my wife. Instead of talking to her, I shut her out. When a work colleague ten years younger than me showed interest, I jumped into bed with her. My wife discovered our affair and kicked me out. My girlfriend took me in. But I didn't treat her as well as I should have done. Instead of learning from my past mistakes, I again failed to communicate properly. And when she said she wanted to have children with me, I said 'no way' and refused to discuss it. I was still reeling from the loss of being a full-time dad to my daughters. My girlfriend said she couldn't wait to be a mum, as she was heading for 40. She didn't have time to waste, so broke up with me. It was only then that I realised how much I loved her and that I did want kids with her. But it was too late. She'd moved on and started dating someone else. I still think about her all the time and want to contact her. I don't know how to move on. DEIDRE SAYS: You're learning from your mistakes, and that is the first step in moving on. Contacting your ex, who now has another partner, is looking backward rather than forward, and this won't help you – especially if she responds negatively. Your feelings for her will fade in time. Instead, look to rebuild your life and make positive changes for the future. Be the best dad you can to your daughters. Try to form a new relationship, and don't repeat the same mistakes this time. Speaking to a counsellor could also be of help to you. See my support pack, Moving On, for more advice. HAUNTED BY LOVER WHO LEFT WITH NO EXPLANATION DEAR DEIDRE: MANY years after the love of my life left me, I still can't move on. I can't even go to the area where she lives in case I bump into her. I don't want her back but I do want to be able to stop thinking about her. I'm 64 and was with her for 20 years. Our relationship was wonderful and other people said we were the perfect couple. But after her 40th birthday, things changed and she stopped being affectionate. One day, I came home from work to find a note saying she'd left. I was blindsided and devastated. That was 12 years ago. Since then, although I've had a few girlfriends, I've never found love again. I just can't let her go. She's always on my mind and her spectre follows me around. Birthdays and anniversaries are especially hard. How can I get her out of my system once and for all? DEIDRE SAYS: The way your ex left you was shocking. Although there were signs she wasn't happy, she never talked to you. As a result, you didn't get closure and still can't move forward. Sometimes, we have to find closure elsewhere. It would help you greatly to talk to a counsellor. My support pack, How Counselling Can Help, tells you how this process works. Also read my support pack Moving On. On significant dates, make sure you have an activity planned, so you're not focusing on your ex. SO MANY EXCUSES NOT TO COMMIT DEAR DEIDRE: I'M dying to make our relationship official, but the guy I'm seeing won't ask me to be his girlfriend. He says he wants to wait until 'the honeymoon period is over', which doesn't ring true to me. I'm starting to doubt whether he really likes me. I feel so insecure. We're both in our mid-twenties and have been dating for four months. I have begun to fall for him. When I asked him why we aren't official yet, he said it was because he's rushed into relationships in the past, and then it's gone horribly wrong. He says he wants to make sure we're right for each other first. That all sounds logical but I don't fully believe him. He can be kind and affectionate, but often makes excuses for why we can't meet and sometimes drops me for his friends. He says he likes me and sees a future for us, but I feel really anxious. DEIDRE SAYS: Whatever his reason – he may be scared of getting hurt so is keeping you at arm's length – he's not ready to be official yet and, unfortunately, you can't force him to change. What's important is that you're feeling unhappy and insecure. Perhaps you need to set yourself a time limit. If things haven't changed by then, and you're still not secure, then walk away. My support pack, Learning About Relationships, may be helpful to read. SICK OF PLAYING SECOND FIDDLE DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner is still allowing his ex to run his life. He doesn't seem to be able to say no to her ever, and I'm sick of being second best. He's been separated from his ex-wife for nine years, and yet he still won't divorce her, even though he says he loves me. If we have a row, he goes running back to her for advice. What should I do? I'm 38 and he's 49. We've been together for eight years but don't live together. Years before we met, he was married to a woman with whom he has two kids. He left her for someone else (a relationship that ended quickly). Recently, he came into some money and promised to take me on holiday. But his ex said he should treat his kids instead, and he agreed. He told me our trip was off. He pays maintenance for his kids already, and I don't resent that – it's the right thing to do. But he also gives his ex extra all the time, and that's not fair when it means I lose out. I'm not worried he's still in love with her, or that he's cheating on me, but I do feel she comes first. It's making me very unhappy and we're having lots of rows. Am I wrong to feel like this? DEIDRE SAYS: You're not in the wrong to want your long-term partner to put you first. It sounds like his ex still has a hold over him and perhaps he feels guilty about the end of their relationship. But that's not an excuse to make you feel second best. Try talking to him again and telling him how you feel. My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to do this without making him defensive. It might also help you both to talk to a relationship counsellor. Make an appointment with
The Sun
an hour ago
- The Sun
Lottery results and numbers: Lotto and Thunderball draw tonight, August 20, 2025
THE NATIONAL Lottery results are in and it's time to find out who has won a life-changing amount of money tonight (August 20, 2025). Could tonight's £5.2million jackpot see you handing in your notice, jetting off to the Bahamas or driving a new Porsche off a garage forecourt? 3 3 You can find out by checking your ticket against tonight's numbers below. Good luck! Tonight's National Lottery Lotto winning numbers are: 01, 09, 10, 32, 44, 55 and the Bonus Ball is 49. Tonight's National Lottery Thunderball winning numbers are: 09, 13, 20, 25, 33 and the Thunderball is 09. The first National Lottery draw was held on November 19 1994 when seven winners shared a jackpot of £5,874,778. The largest amount ever to be won by a single ticket holder was £42million, won in 1996. Gareth Bull, a 49-year-old builder, won £41million in November, 2020 and ended up knocking down his bungalow to make way for a luxury manor house with a pool. TOP 5 BIGGEST LOTTERY WINS ACROSS THE WORLD £1.308 billion (Powerball) on January 13 2016 in the US, for which three winning tickets were sold, remains history's biggest lottery prize £1.267 billion (Mega Million) a winner from South Carolina took their time to come forward to claim their prize in March 2019 not long before the April deadline £633.76 million (Powerball draw) from a winner from Wisconsin £625.76 million (Powerball) Mavis L. Wanczyk of Chicopee, Massachusetts claimed the jackpot in August 2017 £575.53 million (Powerball) A lucky pair of winners scooped the jackpot in Iowa and New York in October 2018 Sue Davies, 64, bought a lottery ticket to celebrate ending five months of shielding during the pandemic — and won £500,000. Sandra Devine, 36, accidentally won £300k - she intended to buy her usual £100 National Lottery Scratchcard, but came home with a much bigger prize. The biggest jackpot ever to be up for grabs was £66million in January last year, which was won by two lucky ticket holders. Another winner, Karl managed to bag £11million aged just 23 in 1996. The odds of winning the lottery are estimated to be about one in 14million - BUT you've got to be in it to win it. 3
The Guardian
an hour ago
- The Guardian
Christopher Rowe obituary
My father, Christopher Rowe, who has died aged 81, was a classical scholar specialising in the philosophy of Socrates, Plato and Aristotle. He completed his final work, a translation into English of his edition in Greek of Aristotle's Eudemian Ethics, after being diagnosed as terminally ill with a glioblastoma in September 2024. The edition appeared in 2023, and the translation of it will be published in September 2025. Christopher's skills as a linguist, translator and philosopher enabled him to make celebrated contributions in this centuries-old field of study, which he believed had resonance in the modern age. Socrates, Plato and Aristotle, in their different ways, argued that philosophical thinking is necessary if we are to live a successful, happy life. Capitalists, the privileged, or people of whatever sort will have nothing of what they really want until they ask the simple question: 'What is it all for?' It was this thinking that guided Christopher in his studies, his politics and his personal relationships. Born in the town of March, Cambridgeshire, to Mary (nee Ashford), and Daniel, both teachers, Christopher was the second of six children, all of whom remained in close contact throughout his life. Christopher attended Christ's Hospital school and then went to Trinity College, Cambridge, in 1962. There he met Heather Knight, a fellow classicist from Girton College, whom he married in 1965. She was a critic, supporter, sounding board and cheerleader for Christopher throughout his life. In 1966 he joined Bristol University, where he was later appointed HO Wills professor of Greek. In the 1980s he was a founder member of the International Plato Society. In 1992, Christopher was invited to Madison, Wisconsin, where he began working with Terry Penner, whom he regarded as 'the most important philosophical influence' on his life. In 1995, Christopher became professor of Greek at Durham University, where he had a Leverhulme research professorship. His colleagues speak widely of his steadfast support of younger academics, and he would travel to places as diverse as Georgia, Brazil, South Korea and Japan in order to do so. Christopher and Heather loved to travel, often with friends they had made from around the world, and, for the last 50 years, regularly visited Puglia, in Italy, where his brother lives. Moving to Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire, in 2019 to be nearer to my sister, Sarah, and her family, they were regarded warmly by all, from neighbours to cafe owners and stall holders. Family was Christopher's overwhelming priority. He felt his greatest achievements were his children and his grandchildren, and people speak as much about his humility, generosity and kindness as his scholarly achievements. Perhaps he succeeded in living the 'good life' Aristotle wrote about. Christopher is survived by Heather, Sarah and me, his grandchildren, Sadie, Micky and Mia, and his siblings.
