Adults Share Wild Childhood Misconceptions

Buzz Feed

2 days ago

As kids, there are many things about the world around us that simply don't make sense. Sometimes we even invent these misconceptions ourselves! And one way or another, most of us eventually realize how silly those beliefs were, even if we we don't realize it until we're adults...
So recently, when I wrote a post where people shared the silly childhood beliefs they held into adulthood, I received dozens of responses from the BuzzFeed Community sharing their weirdest, wackiest, and wildest childhood notions and couldn't stop laughing. From pink cows to roaring clouds, here are 21 of their best stories:
"I thought a Cheat Sheet was called a 'Cheat Cheat' until I was in my late 30s and I sent my boss and coworkers an email with the subject title and attachment both named 'Program Cheat Cheat.'"
"When I heard my boss laugh out loud and say, 'Cheat Cheat,' I realized I had been saying it wrong all these years! "—Anonymous
"A much older cousin once told me that if you stopped pooping mid-poop, your butthole would cut the poop in half, and the interior half would shoot directly to your brain, killing you instantly."
"I was 15 years old when I discovered that star signs are not based on anything other than when you were born. I am a twin, and my sign is Gemini. My mom was a virgin until marriage, and she was a Virgo. My dad and younger sister are very mean and rude people; they are Scorpios."
"When I was a kid, my mom had one rule for swimming: Get out of the water the second your fingers start to wrinkle. Why? Because if you didn't, they'd stay wrinkled FOREVER. Like, Benjamin-Button-meets-Raisinette levels of fear."
"So naturally, every time we were in a pool or the sea, my siblings and I would leap out of the water like soggy little gremlins the moment we spotted a single wrinkle.Fast forward 25 years: I was in my early 30s, hanging out at the beach with a friend and my mom. My friend and I went for a quick swim, and when we got out, my mom looked surprised. She asked us, 'Why so soon? You looked like you were having fun.' I, in complete seriousness, said, 'Because of our fingers. You know what happens if they stay wrinkled too long.'My mother absolutely lost it and nearly collapsed from laughter. Through her wheezing, she confessed, 'That was just the only way I could get you out of the water!''—currywurst8
"As a kid, I had straight hair, but I always loved curly hair. One day, my dad told me that since the crust slice of a loaf of bread was curled, if I always ate the crust, I would have curly hair. I believed that for about 10 years. "
"I grew up in Florida, so I didn't have much experience with trees that changed color and lost their leaves. I didn't realize that different kinds of trees turn the same color whenever they change. I thought that trees 'chose' a color they liked every year."
"As a young adult, I was having oral surgery and high on nitrous oxide. While free associating on the theme of dentistry, I remembered being in the dentist chair when I was, maybe, six or seven years old. The dentist asked me, very seriously, if I wanted a 'Mickey Mouse filling' or a 'Donald Duck filling.' I was adamant that it had to be Mickey — Donald was loud and unpleasant, I didn't want him in my mouth!"
"Obligingly, the dentist said to his assistant, 'Would you please mix up a Mickey Mouse filling for this young man?' She did so, and he squeezed it into my tooth. It wasn't until that day, when I was perhaps 25, that I ever thought of it again and realized that there had never been Mickey Mouse fillings! My first, shocked, reaction was, 'He lied to me!' After those two seconds, it was very funny."—Anonymous, 75 Dallas, TX
"I thought the clouds made loud roaring sounds when the wind blew between them or if they moved."
"I always thought musical groups and bands lived together in the same house. It never crossed my mind they might have spouses or children, and I was fully an adult before that thought crossed my mind."
"I thought pheasants were extinct. My grandma told me that the kings of England hunted them and ate them so much that they went extinct. Day one of studying in the UK and I saw a weird bird...lo and behold, a pheasant. I took a picture of it and sent it to my mom."
"The conversation went like this: 'Mom, I found this weird bird on campus. Didn't the kings of England eat them?' She texted back, 'Yes, but that doesn't make them extinct.'"—Anonymous, 25, Guatemala-UK
"I thought actors were wearing a super thin layer of plastic on their lips during make-out scenes because I couldn't fathom kissing someone you weren't at least engaged to."
"My mom always told me her poop didn't stink. One day, in my late twenties, I walked by her bathroom and noticed a smell. I asked if she had just 'used' the bathroom, and she said, 'Yes?'"
"Not me, but my mother-in-law always told my husband that dragonflies would sew a person's eyes shut if they let them get too close. When he first told me, I laughed and said, 'I've never heard of that, and it isn't true. Are they going to sew your hands behind your back first?'"
"I think he believed it until we were at the lake early one summer, napping in the sun, when he woke me up to show me about a dozen dragonflies resting on my legs."—Anonymous, 63, Texas
"When I was young, my parents told me whipped cream would only come out of the can if you pushed both red dots over the two 'I's' in Reddi Whip at the same time, so they would hold the can upside down so I could press the dots."
"I thought chocolate milk came from brown cows. I lost my ever-loving mind the first time my mom gave me strawberry milk and demanded she take me to see the pink cows immediately! I was sad to learn I was wrong."
"When I was little, Labyrinth was my favorite movie. Those who've watched the movie will remember how Jareth set a timer for 13 hours. When I watched that, I asked my mom why that clock had a 13 on it, and instead of explaining to me that it was a timer, she told me that clocks in England have 13 hours on them.'
"And I just believed that for an embarrassingly long time."—[deleted]
"I didn't know about the digestive process, so I thought that the food you ate just sort of filled up your body. I remember looking at myself one day and thinking that I had probably eaten enough food so that I was filled up to my knees, and I should slow down if I wanted to make it to adulthood."
"Growing up, my parents drank their coffee black and strong enough to slice. It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I realized I could drink my coffee weak and drowning in cream and sugar. I never liked the taste of coffee, and even now, I think black coffee is vile."
"Whenever my family would order pizza during my early childhood years, I thought the delivery person would come into our house and have a slice of pizza with us. I would always invite them in, and I was crushed every time that did not happen."
"I used to think those floodlights/spotlights that are used to advertise events like grand openings were like carnival rides, and people could strap into a seat on top of them and touch the clouds. (I was also convinced that clouds tasted like cotton balls!)"
"My grandma used to tell me that she had a magic telescope and could see everything I did, and that she would check up on me regularly to see if I behaved."
Which one of these beliefs was your favorite? Did you hold any childhood misconceptions into adulthood? Tell us in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below!