Gen Z can may hate Tinder's height filter but swerving short blokes & giant-arsed women is what singles do in real life
FOR years and years, women have been whanging on about male objectification.
So wolf-whistles are out, it is sexist for a man to hold open a door for us, and 'Grid Girls' — Formula 1's all-female parade — are a thing of the past.
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Now, here we are in 2025, doing the very same thing to blokes, all in the name of progression.
Tinder, the world's most successful dating site with more than 75million members, has introduced a height filter so women can wheedle out shorties.
In a trial, users of Tinder Premium, which costs £16.67 a month, can remove anyone in need of a Simon Cowell -esque Cuban heel. (Let's hope, then, 5ft 7in Emmanuel Macron' s recent marital woes resolve themselves, or he's buggered).
'We're always listening to what matters most to our Tinder users — and testing the paid height preference is a great example of how we're building with urgency, clarity and focus,' confirmed a Tinder spokesperson.
All chaps under 5ft 8in are, of course, outraged.
'Out and out prejudice,' screamed one online. 'Women can shift their weight but we can't do anything about our height,' huffed another vertically challenged bloke. Women also chimed in, calling out the app for its blatant double standards.
'It's so hypocritical that men are demonised for having preferences but it's OK for women, often about things men can't change,' posted another commentator on X. 'Imagine if there was a fat filter.'
Quite! But, actually, why not? Why stop at height?
Let's introduce filters for weight, boob size, and penis length (no need for pictorial evidence of the latter, please, rather a ruler measurement to the centimetre).
Online dating is soul-destroying, and some of my single friends regard apps, such as Tinder and Hinge, as their second job.
The Tinder hack guaranteed to make you the most liked on the app
In my thirties, I wasted months of my life chatting to people, who looked absolutely nothing like their photos when we met in person.
Woke warriors
I would politely go through with painful dates because, being British, I didn't want to be rude.
So let's just cut out the middle man (or woman). Get to the crux of the matter. Think of the hours saved.
After all, as one man on Reddit recalled: 'I was chatting to a girl for months online, and just before we arranged to meet up, I noticed a rear- view mirror shot in one of her photos. Her arse was huge.
'She had airbrushed her frontal pics to make her a size ten.
In reality she was a solid 20. I didn't mind the weight so much, but our entire 'relationship' was built on lies.'
In a world so quick to categorise itself — Gen Z are tripping over themselves to come up with new labels — why not make online dating equally specific?
Sure, it would be problematic for the woke warriors.
But, really, people make instantaneous judgments in the flesh every single day.
Let's separate the wheat from the chaff, and do it online too.
LAST week saw Prince Harry being peak Prince Harry.
Ahead of World Environmental Day, Montecito's biggest hypocrite jetted off to Shanghai, China, for a lecture on, yep, climate change.
While we don't know whether our crusading eco-warrior flew private jet or a commercial flight, he certainly didn't swim or rickshaw there.
Will he – and this is a rhetorical question – ever learn?
A NO WYNNE AT BBC
SO, predictably enough, Wynne Evans has been dropped from his BBC Radio Wales show after bringing the corporation into disrepute.
His crime? Using the word 'spitroast' – a sexual reference you'd do well not to Google – while talking about Strictly co-star Jamie Borthwick during an official photocall.
I interviewed Wynne last month and found him to be warm, kind, surprisingly smart (sorry Wynne) and naive.
In it, he insisted the word wasn't used in a sexual way, rather a reference to a chicken position Jamie could contort his legs into.
Whatever the truth, his sacking seems a zealous over-reaction, but is indicative of the current cancel culture: The Beeb was damned if it did, and damned if it didn't.
Anyway, after our interview, Wynne and I went to the pub for many, many drinks.
Speak as you find. He was fantastic company, regaling me with hilarious tales of the opera world.
Here's hoping his new radio show takes off – and the memoirs are incoming.
Brooke (not Kylie) is Fit for the Gods
A NEW poll has revealed Kylie Jenner has the 'dream' female body shape.
Apparently her cartoonish curves, described as 'slim thick', is what men fancy and women want to emulate.
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While it is a huge improvement on the 'heroin chic' trend I was brought up on – think Kate Moss in the Nineties – Kylie's surgically enhanced figure is not achievable for the average woman.
For me – a bit of a failed sportsperson, who is now into very cliched activities like fitness race Hyrox – the ideal body type is that of a CrossFitter.
A mix of functional training, a bit of running or rowing and heavyweight lifting, CrossFit is the ultimate test of strength and mental resilience.
And CrossFit Games winners, like American Brooke Wells – who has massive traps, incredible legs and a six-pack – are who we should be idolising.
These athletes consume around 3,500 calories a day, of simple wholefoods and protein. They don't demonise food.
Let's look up to them instead.
FLIGHT FRIGHT
AND to think people complain about kids on flights.
Shocking footage has been leaked showing a vile British man threatening easyJet staff, using homophobic language and swearing loudly and aggressively at fellow passengers as he attempted to board a plane.
The cretin held up his flight from Manchester to Chania, Greece, and was eventually slapped around the face by an airport worker.
What a time to be alive.
RUFF DAY AT WORK
NOTE to my Editor . . .
James Middleton appeared on GMB last week with hosts Susanna Reid and Ed Balls, pleading the case for dogs to be allowed in the office.
Kate and Pippa's baby brother brought his two pooches, Isla and Inka, on set for a mildly chaotic interview.
'Dogs improve prod in the workplace,' he reasoned. 'So I think if you can't have a dog in the workplace you should be encouraged to bring it because they do increase productivity.'
He's absolutely right, and frankly it is a travesty my miniature dachshund isn't allowed into our London HQ.
Granted, the one time I sneaked her in past security, she had an unfortunate accident under the Sports Editor's desk, and trailed raw chicken across the production floor. But still.
A BOY needed hospital treatment for withdrawal symptoms after his parents confiscated his mobile, a doctor has revealed.
The 15-year-old required tranquillisers to calm him down.
Phone addiction, I'm certain, will one day be the biggest killer of all.
The other day my screen time read 11 hours and 32 minutes, which is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING, and I've developed RSI in my right thumb from over-use.
On Saturday, I travelled from London to Margate and the young girl next to me was scrolling on her phone for the entire two-hour journey.
Kids are categorically addicted to their smart phones, and Big Tech are deliberately reeling them in with their algorithms.
The Government needs to do more, before it is too late.
It must introduce mandatory maximum screen times for kids under 18, as well as actively look at ways to reduce youngsters' reliance on them.
SUPERMODEL Linda Evangelista once bemoaned modern dating in an interview – and it is now going viral on TikTok.
Speaking to the Sunday Times in 2023, she said: 'Not interested. I don't want to sleep with anybody any more. I don't want to hear somebody breathing.'
Same, hun, same.
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