At Quinceañeros, a Changing Culture Emerges

New York Times

30-01-2025

Long before I reached 15, my Cuban American relatives were asking if I had set a date for my quinceañera, a coming-of-age celebration for girls in many Latino cultures. I disappointed some of my aunts when, instead of having a party, I decided to take a trip to New York City.
At the time, I didn't understand how important the quinceañera was to many families. Then I attended my cousin's celebration.
She wore a fluffy white dress and a sparkling tiara. Her friends and I wore hot pink dresses for a choreographed dance, which we had practiced beforehand. I also danced with my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I realized that occasions like this, which bring families together, are foundational to our culture.
Since I became a journalist, I've wanted to write about the meaning of quinceañeras, and how the celebrations have changed over the years.
I got my chance in the fall, after I was assigned to The New York Times's National desk to report on Latino communities in the United States. And yet instead of writing about the traditional quinceañera (from the Spanish word quince, which means 15), I decided to cover a modern twist on the festivities: the quinceañero, a version of the party for boys.
Quinceañeros are a surprising development in a centuries-old tradition that started as a way of presenting a young woman who was 'ready for marriage' to the world. In the modern United States, the parties became akin to a sweet 16.
Growing up, I knew that most Latino families generally maintained strict gender roles. Quinceañeras were viewed as girlie and dainty, characteristics boys and men were taught to avoid. My cousin's party in Miami more than a decade ago had been exactly that: It was a Paris-themed party, with Eiffel Tower decorations and hot pink table cloths.
So when I saw all the TikTok videos and Facebook posts from mothers showing off the parties they were hosting for their teenage boys, I knew that there was an interesting change happening.
I contacted mothers who had posted questions about quinceañeros in Facebook groups. I called dance halls, D.J.s and photographers throughout Texas, where the trend appeared to be strongest, and asked if they were handling any upcoming parties for boys. My editor and I decided to focus on four teenagers whose families would be hosting celebrations in the fall.
That's how the photographer Christopher Lee and I ended up in a ballroom in Corpus Christi, Texas, as guests at Javier Calderon's ornate 15th birthday party. Javier is Mexican American, and his party included some traditions that were similar to those I've seen at Cuban American celebrations. I watched as he danced with his mother to classical music, played by a string quartet. I saw his stepfather get emotional during a video dedication. I interviewed guests by the bar as relatives and friends with balloons danced nearby, beneath a towering robot.
I spoke with all of the boys and their mothers. I wanted to understand why they were hosting these parties, and why some families were spending more than $70,000 to do so. I also talked to fathers, stepfathers and grandfathers about their ideas of masculinity. (Most family members who attended the parties were supportive, though some of the friends of the families we met did not approve of the celebration for teenage boys.)
Through my reporting, it became clear to me that some Latino teenagers were adopting more open views of gender, much like other young people in America. Quinceañeros seemed to exemplify how traditions can change as more and more Latinos settle into the United States, the essence of what I'm assigned to cover for the National desk.
Searching for subjects, I often look inward at the dynamics that have influenced my life as a second-generation Cuban American. But I also try to tap into what new immigrants are experiencing by putting myself in the shoes of my parents and grandparents when they were first living in the United States. I speak Spanish, which has opened up my coverage to include more sources and stories.
The work is not all parties. I've written about recent immigrants targeted in armed robberies in Montgomery, Ala., and reported on Latino hurricane recovery workers bracing for Hurricane Milton in Florida while helping residents recover from Hurricane Helene. I have explored how the deported spouses of American citizens try to keep their families together, and years ago, I called many of the Latino families whose children died in a school shooting in Uvalde, Texas.
But it's articles like the one about quinceañeros that are among my favorites to write. With these stories, I know I'm telling a fuller story of my culture.