Understanding lobola in Xhosa culture: inside Anele Mdoda's union of love

TimesLIVE

25-04-2025

Anele Mdoda and her partner, Prince Bonelela Ngubengcuka, have taken a significant step towards their traditional wedding after finalising the lobola negotiations.
On Sunday images of the couple in traditional regalia circulated on social media, with people present sharing glimpses from the celebration.
The couple's families came together to celebrate the occasion with a ceremony known as ukwamkelwa kwabakwenyana, which marks the formal acceptance of the groom by the bride's family.
Kaya 959 host Sizwe Dhlomo, a close friend of Anele, shed light on the matter as the family spokesperson.
'We wish these two incredible people an eternal union, filled with love and fulfilment. We look forward to the next phase of their ceremonies as this was just the initial step. In African culture a groom never really concludes lobola but we are pleased the Mgudlwa royal house of the Abathembu kingdom have honoured ooHlathi in bringing these two together in this dignified traditional process,' he said.
According to Khaya Dlanga, also a close friend of Anele, the approach ensures the groom remains committed to the union and maintains a strong relationship with both families.
While the lobola negotiations have been finalised, the traditional wedding ceremony will take place at the groom's family home. The couple and their families are excited to move forward with the next phase of their ceremonies, which will include traditional and civil elements.
"To clarify, what took place was not a wedding. It was the final stage of the lobola process, along with a ceremony called ukwamkela abakhwenyana, which is to say the formal acceptance of the groom by the bride's family," he wrote on X.
"In our isiXhosa custom, lobola is not a once-off payment, even if you can afford to do so. It is supposed to be done in stages and traditionally it is never entirely finished or completed. This is deliberate. It ensures the groom remains present and committed to the union of both families, rather than disappearing once the celebrations are over.
"What happened was the final lobola ceremony and the moment the groom was officially welcomed by Anele's family. In other words, ooMfene were welcoming ooMadiba.
"The traditional wedding has not yet happened because it takes place at the groom's family home. So while the couple are referred to as the bride and groom, this was not the traditional wedding itself."
As the couple celebrates the significant milestone, they have requested that they not be approached for press engagements related to their marriage.
The families look forward to the traditional and civil ceremonies, which will further solidify their union.
A source revealed to TshisaLIVE another ceremony to celebrate the union is set to take place in November.