Dear Coleen: My son cut me off after an ex-friend spun cruel lies about us
Dear Coleen
A former friend has been telling my family that I've been badmouthing them to her, which is not true.
I'm confused as to why she would do this because, as far as I know, I've done nothing to upset her, but because of her lies I've lost my lovely family. I've asked my three sons what I'm supposed to have done, but they won't tell me, so I can't fight my corner.
My eldest son turned 65 a few weeks ago, but I wasn't invited to the celebrations – it was kept hush-hush from me, which was very hurtful. I'm 87 and could do without this stress at my age.
I lost their dad just 18 months ago and have no one in the family here to help me. My only daughter lives in France and she's angry with her brothers.
This former friend, who's caused all this trouble, often asked me about my family and would say how lucky I was to have such caring children around me. She has two boys and two girls, but said only one of the children speaks to her. I'd love your opinion on all of this.
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Coleen says
I think it's very disappointing that your family believed this woman and not you, and didn't even give you the opportunity to tell your side. And what's so frustrating is they won't tell you what this friend has said.
They're basically ghosting you, which is horrible. It could be a case of good old-fashioned jealousy – maybe this friend was jealous that you had your children around you and she's messed it up for you. Now you're in the same situation as she is with only one of your kids talking to you.
If you have no idea what it's all about then try writing to your family, explaining how hurt you feel and that you're baffled by how this all came about. They might not answer, but at least you'll feel like you've got it off your chest.
You could ask your daughter to mediate too – maybe your sons would tell her what it's all about. I know she's in France, but maybe you could encourage her to visit over the summer.
It's sad that it's just 18 months since you lost your husband, so I imagine your grief is still raw and you're still getting used to living and coping on your own. You can reach out to friends and local community groups for support and companionship.
I understand how hard this is, not knowing what's been said and why you've been cut off. I had something similar with two friends, it tormented me for a long time because I had no clue what I'd done. I hope you get your answer and I hope your sons realise that whatever was said, it's not worth losing your mother over.
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Dear Coleen: My son cut me off after an ex-friend spun cruel lies about us
Dear Coleen A former friend has been telling my family that I've been badmouthing them to her, which is not true. I'm confused as to why she would do this because, as far as I know, I've done nothing to upset her, but because of her lies I've lost my lovely family. I've asked my three sons what I'm supposed to have done, but they won't tell me, so I can't fight my corner. My eldest son turned 65 a few weeks ago, but I wasn't invited to the celebrations – it was kept hush-hush from me, which was very hurtful. I'm 87 and could do without this stress at my age. I lost their dad just 18 months ago and have no one in the family here to help me. My only daughter lives in France and she's angry with her brothers. This former friend, who's caused all this trouble, often asked me about my family and would say how lucky I was to have such caring children around me. She has two boys and two girls, but said only one of the children speaks to her. I'd love your opinion on all of this. Join the Daily Record WhatsApp community! Get the latest news sent straight to your messages by joining our WhatsApp community today. You'll receive daily updates on breaking news as well as the top headlines across Scotland. No one will be able to see who is signed up and no one can send messages except the Daily Record team. All you have to do is click here if you're on mobile, select 'Join Community' and you're in! If you're on a desktop, simply scan the QR code above with your phone and click 'Join Community'. We also treat our community members to special offers, promotions, and adverts from us and our partners. If you don't like our community, you can check out any time you like. To leave our community click on the name at the top of your screen and choose 'exit group'. If you're curious, you can read our Privacy Notice. Coleen says I think it's very disappointing that your family believed this woman and not you, and didn't even give you the opportunity to tell your side. And what's so frustrating is they won't tell you what this friend has said. They're basically ghosting you, which is horrible. It could be a case of good old-fashioned jealousy – maybe this friend was jealous that you had your children around you and she's messed it up for you. Now you're in the same situation as she is with only one of your kids talking to you. If you have no idea what it's all about then try writing to your family, explaining how hurt you feel and that you're baffled by how this all came about. They might not answer, but at least you'll feel like you've got it off your chest. You could ask your daughter to mediate too – maybe your sons would tell her what it's all about. I know she's in France, but maybe you could encourage her to visit over the summer. It's sad that it's just 18 months since you lost your husband, so I imagine your grief is still raw and you're still getting used to living and coping on your own. You can reach out to friends and local community groups for support and companionship. I understand how hard this is, not knowing what's been said and why you've been cut off. I had something similar with two friends, it tormented me for a long time because I had no clue what I'd done. I hope you get your answer and I hope your sons realise that whatever was said, it's not worth losing your mother over.
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