Backing your creative kids may do them no favours
I feel sad for him, and also concerned for the aspiring creative artists. Young people are told by inspirational adults to follow their dreams, but the people who preach that doctrine tend to be the successful ones. The vast majority of those who follow artistic dreams fail to realise them. Young people who come from prosperous homes probably haven't met the disappointed dreamers, but the odds are that they will be among them, because that's the way in the creative arts. The chances are, therefore, that they will find themselves in their thirties without a profession or a useful skill.
It's a difficult issue for well-off parents who want to do their best for their children. Subsidising your offspring when they enter adulthood so they don't have to limit their aspirations may seem like a kindness, but in the long run it may be a curse.
No change
In search of something cheerful to read in these gloomy times I chose my colleague India Knight's Darling, a modern retelling of one of my favourite comfort books, Nancy Mitford's The Pursuit of Love. I wasn't surprised that the book was exceedingly funny, but I was by how easily Mitford's satire transposes to the present day. The horrible smug rich boy with his vulgar taste and extravagant toys, the ghastly self-righteous Etonian lefty who pretends to be working class, the outrageously camp fashion-designer who releases pink-dyed doves at his party: all of them work just as well now as they did 80 years ago. I'm not sure if it's comforting or depressing how little we have changed. Is our society stable or stagnant?
Bag a bargain
Are you concerned you might be conned out of your savings by Jack Watkin, aka the Kardashian of Cheshire, who removed thousands of pounds from people on the pretext that he was going to provide them with Hermès Birkin bags? I have a foolproof way of avoiding losing money to such villains: carry your belongings in a receptacle that costs less than £10,000.
A wide range of alternative options are available, among them Tesco's capacious but discreet carrier bags for 30p, Sainsbury's more ostentatious orange version at a similar price and, for those prepared to invest the full 50p, Waitrose's more durable version in an attractive, environmentally themed green. I have an extensive and enviable collection of these bags, which have many advantages over a Birkin. As well as keeping you safe from handbag scammers, they are unlikely to be stolen from you on the bus, they fit into your pocket when not in use, and when you carry them in public they do not mark you out as somebody who has more money than sense.
I'm interested to see that America's State Department is seeking to create a new Office of Remigration as part of the restructuring of the US diplomatic service, to ensure that migrants go back to the places they came from. This sounds like good news for Native Americans, who will presumably get their country back once all the Europeans have been turfed out.
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Daily Mail
18 hours ago
- Daily Mail
I have proof you can make your dreams come true... 4 simple steps to do before bedtime to win the lottery
A dream expert who says she's helped people manifest love, healing - and even lottery wins - insists the key to getting what you want lies not in hard work or hustle, but in what you do before bed. Kelly Sullivan, a hypnotherapist and bestselling author, has spent decades studying dreams. Her new book, Dreamifesting: Harnessing the Power of Your Dreams to Create the Life You Desire (out September 30), offers a practical guide to tapping into the power of the subconscious to manifest the life you want - starting with your sleep. And yes, she claims it's worked for real people trying to win the lottery. 'There are people who have literally dreamed the winning numbers,' Sullivan told Daily Mail. 'Others dreamed business ideas that made them millionaires, or cures for illnesses their doctors couldn't find. One man even dreamed his soulmate's phone number.' That story, she says, was one of her favorites: a British man named David Brown woke up with a strange sequence of numbers stuck in his head. It wasn't a winning lottery ticket - but it was a real phone number. On a whim, he texted it. On the other end was a woman who lived across the country. They started talking, met up, and ended up falling in love. Another client dreamed of a cell tower disguised as a tree. He drew it, patented the concept, and is now a multi-millionaire. A woman diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor dreamed of floating and being told to 'smile as big as you can'. Kelly advised her to meditate on that feeling for five minutes a day. Six months later, her tumor had vanished - without surgery, chemo, or radiation. These aren't isolated stories, Sullivan insists. In fact, they're part of what she calls the Dreamifesting Hall of Fame - real-life cases she's collected where people followed her process and saw astonishing results. Sullivan says you too can start tonight - no crystals, vision boards, or Instagram quotes required. Her four-step method is designed to rewire your brain for success while you sleep. 'This isn't woo-woo,' she says. 'There's neuroscience to back this up. And it works because your dreaming mind is the most powerful, untapped part of who you are.' 1. Clarify your 'ego goal' and your 'soul goal' First, figure out what you think you want - what Sullivan calls your 'ego goal'. Maybe it's winning the lottery, landing a big promotion, or buying a red Ferrari. Don't judge it. Then, ask yourself why. 'If someone says they want a Ferrari, I'll say great - but how would that make you feel?' Sullivan explains. 'Usually they'll say it means success, freedom, pride. So I say - that's your soul goal.' To anchor it, Sullivan recommends placing a small object on your nightstand that symbolizes both goals. It could be a toy car, a feather, a coin - whatever feels meaningful. 'Touch it before bed,' she says. 'It becomes your signal to the subconscious: This is what I'm ready to receive.' 2. Sleep - and pass the baton to your dream self Your only job here is to go to sleep, but Sullivan says what you think about before bed matters deeply. 'Your last thought before sleep is the baton you pass to your dreaming mind,' she says. 'It will pick up where your conscious mind left off.' 3. Record your dream - even if it's just one word When you wake up, write down anything you remember - even fragments. 'One morning all I could remember was a shoe,' she laughs. 'But even that tiny symbol held meaning when I unpacked it.' She recommends the Temenos app, which lets you whisper into your phone as soon as you wake up. 'You're still in dream state, so your logical mind won't reject it yet,' she explains. 'That's where the gold is.' 4. Decode your dream - and act on it This step is where Sullivan's signature dream interpretation method comes in. She calls it the JETSET formula, and it's a simple six-step tool anyone can use to break down a dream - even the weird ones: J - Jumpstart: Start with anything you remember from the dream, no matter how small. E - Emotion: Identify the key feeling in the dream - fear, joy, confusion, peace. T - Theme: Look for a storyline or recurring dynamic - are you searching? Running? Winning? S - Standout Symbols: Pick one or two specific images or objects from the dream. E - Explore Associations: What do those symbols mean to you personally - not just what a dream dictionary says. T - Take It Into Your Day: Do one small real-world action inspired by the dream - something that keeps the message alive in waking life. Sullivan says this final 'action' step is crucial. One woman dreamed of biking at the beach and feeling pure joy. Inspired by that image, she rented a bike the next weekend - and met her future husband while checking out rentals. They're now married. 'It's not about obsessing over symbols,' Sullivan says. 'It's about using the dream as a nudge, a compass, and doing something with it in the real world.' 'You've already won the lottery' Sullivan says Dreamifesting isn't just about money or fame - it's about shifting your mindset and accessing a part of your brain most people ignore. She opens her book with a bold statement: 'You've already won the lottery.' 'Most self-help books start by making you feel broken,' she says. 'They tell you your life is a mess, and have the solution. I think that's manipulative - and false. You've already overcome astronomical odds just to exist.' Her book doesn't shame you into improvement. Instead, she says it reminds readers they already have everything they need - if they're willing to listen to the deepest, wisest part of themselves. And what if you don't dream? You do. You just don't remember them - yet. According to Sullivan, the average person has between three and nine dreams a night. If you're not recalling any, she says, it's a habit issue - not a biological one. To fix this, she says before touching your phone in the morning, spend 60 seconds writing down anything - a feeling, a song lyric, a memory, a word. 'Even if you didn't dream, you woke up thinking something,' she says. 'That's your thread. Write it down, and your dreams will start to reappear. It's like saying to your subconscious: 'I'm listening now.' So whether you're trying to meet your soulmate, heal your body, or hit the jackpot, Sullivan's message is the same: your dreams hold more power than you think. 'It's not about forcing your life into shape,' she says. 'It's about aligning with what your soul already wants for you - and dreaming your way there.' Dreamifesting published by St. Martin's essentials will be on sale September 30, 2025.
Daily Mail
19 hours ago
- Daily Mail
I earned a six-figure salary, ran marathons and lived a life of luxury - but I was in denial about my heavy drinking habit... I was an 'alcoholic'
A woman who was earning a six-figure salary and enjoying considerable success in her career has opened up about her battle with alcohol - and the extent to which she kept it hidden from those around her. Sandra Parker, 56, who hails from Scotland and now lives in London, is a certified alcohol coach and founder of Just the Tonic. Now, her alcohol-free life is a far cry from her old approach to drinking. Sandra began drinking started when she went to university at the age of 17. While she had tried alcohol a few times before, it was during her student days that she started drinking more regularly, and in increasing quantities, Sandra told FEMAIL. This time also saw a social shift taking place, one that would have a significant impact on the drinking habits of many - including Sandra. The foundation of what would become an addition was laid against the backdrop of the rise of ladette culture, which saw young women rebel against societal expectations that confined them to roles that were demure by embracing more masculine behaviours like swearing, partying, and drinking heavily. According to Sandra, the new trend was very different to how older women, like those from her mother's generation, had been expected to behave, and it was 'fun' to try and keep up with the lads. Her drink of choice at university was a half pint of cider with a large blackcurrant top to hide the taste of the alcohol. When she graduated and moved to London, and lived in a house share with three other women, they used to drink an alcopop called Hooch, which they bought from the Waitrose across the road. 'If you bought a certain number of bottles,' she said, 'they would give you a free glass, which we all thought was really cool.' She also dipped into a cider called Diamond White that a friend introduced her to. Describing an advert for the beverage, Sandra said: 'There was a picture of two girls [who seemed drunk] and one of them was carting the other one around in a shopping trolley. 'The slogan said they were having 'a diamond night out'. 'I think nowadays, that would have been seen as really quite shocking. But at the time, it was all a bit of a laugh.' Her career, meanwhile, was going well - after moving down to London, she had got a job at an investment bank in Canary Wharf. Going from university to office, her environment had changed - but the drinking remained a constant. She explained: 'There was very much that sort of work hard, play hard culture, going out for drinks a couple of nights a week. If you got drunk, there was sort of a badge of honour when you went into work the next day.' Sandra continued: 'I had a manager, and if we were going for a night out, and someone asked whether we were going for something to eat, he would say 'eating is cheating'.' 'I don't think people would get away with that now, but then, it was very much like you had to prove yourself, and be able to hold your own. 'And I'm not very tall, I'm about 5'3' and about eight stone, so many of the guys were much bigger than me, and there weren't many women working there. Because it was a career thing, you felt like you were quite sophisticated, but it was still very heavy drinking.' Apart from the booze-fuelled weekday evenings, Sandra live a healthy life; she would eat well and go running - even taking part in several half marathons as well as two full marathons (she ran one of them after drinking the night before). 'I think the weekend running was a good way for me to de-stress. I was never particularly sporty at school, but I had quite good stamina for running, and I quite enjoyed it,' she said. 'I think that was also part of drinking culture as well, because, like, I was in a running club, and it was seen as a badge of honour that you finished a run, and you had a few drinks.' She added that she would sometimes follow eating plans, or exercise regimes, but while she would stick to everything the plan recommended, she would ignore anything about giving up alcohol. Sandra explained: 'As I was getting older, I was interested in feeling healthier, but alcohol was a bit of a blind spot. And I didn't realise how much it had a grip over me. I thought I was being quite clever by ignoring the alcohol part and focusing on the other parts [of a healthy eating and exercise regime].' As she continued to succeed at work, with regular promotions and a six-figure salary to boot, she traded in alcopops and cider for something stronger - and more sophisticated. 'There's a place in London called The Wine and Spirit Education Trust,' she said. 'And I did a wine tasting course there, and I'd been to Sonoma Valley, and had a friend who was a real wine connoisseur. I used to go out with him, and a crowd of others, and we would pretend that we were really sophisticated.' However, she added, while she said she only drank 'really good quality wine', if she went on holiday, she would drink whatever was available. Sandra explained: 'If I look back, I just wanted the hit from the alcohol.' There were times when she would be concerned how much she was drinking. 'From time to time, I would wake up and I would feel absolutely horrendous,' she said. 'I would never go out and plan to get drunk, but there would be times I would wake up and wouldn't quite remember the night before. 'I would have described myself as an anxious person, and I used to have panic attacks when I was a student, and I would get this horrendous anxiety the [day after getting drunk], and when I felt like that, I always wanted to learn how to control alcohol.' She added: 'I never really wanted to get drunk, but at no point did I ever, ever consider giving up. And what happened was, as I was getting older, I think the hangovers were affecting me worse, and I noticed my moods were affected too: I was getting really down and I remember deciding to try harder to moderate my drinking as I still didn't want to give up. 'The thought for me, of not drinking was horrific. To be honest, I thought I would be incredibly miserable, and it sounds like odd now, but I just thought there wouldn't be any point in life if I couldn't drink alcohol. So [giving up] was never, ever something I wanted to do.' She added: 'I was really good at convincing myself that feeling that way was normal. I know it sounds ridiculous now, but when I look back, I deliberately avoided people, say at work, who didn't drink. I think there was a part of me that thought 'they're not any fun'. 'I would try and find ways to convince myself that my attitude to drinking was healthy and that people who didn't drink just didn't know how to enjoy themselves. So I think I did recognise that it was a bit of a problem, but at the same time, it wasn't something that I was that constantly aware of.' On what the people around her thought about her drinking, Sandra said she tried to dismiss it as a serious issue. 'It wasn't like I was getting drunk every night and falling over. But let's say that after work, I got really drunk,' she said. 'The people I socialised with at the weekend didn't really know. I also tried hard to pretend that I didn't feel that bad the next day. So from time to time, people would say, 'you're drinking a bit too much'. 'But there were ways where I was probably hiding people said, 'oh, you got really drunk last night,' I would say that I had felt fine. I would never, ever admit it. I would feel embarrassed.' However, Sandra got to a point where she knew she 'needed to get control'. She decided to follow a Dry January-style programme, ditching alcohol for a month, but throughout that time, she was planning to return to drinking once the designated time period was over. Sandra explained: 'I was really sick of hangovers. At the time, I was working with a really good life coach, and had been doing a lot of work on my mindset.' Abstaining from the drink, Sandra started to feel better, and started to think that she should try to stay away from alcohol for longer. She said: 'My plan was to be alcohol-free for six months and then a year. But I still really wanted to moderate [my alcohol intake] after that.' But after she'd abstained for around six months, one of her friends said to her: 'I can't wait to go out, to go out with you after the year's up. ' Sandra said: 'I turned around her and I said, 'I don't think I'm going to go back to drinking'. When I said it out loud, I was quite shocked, because I hadn't really thought about it. But I thought, 'Why would I go back?' 'I think part of me was worried that I wouldn't be able to moderate, but the other part of me couldn't deny that I was happier. I was like, surprised - I was quite shocked, really, to be honest. But I thought, 'Look, you wanted to moderate, but like, let's be honest, you're a lot happier now, so why not just keep going?'.' That was seven years ago, and Sandra hasn't drunk alcohol since - which led to another major life change. 'In the job that I was doing, I managed people, and I had always enjoyed doing that. I had trained to become a coach, and I was thinking that coaching is something I may do part-time after retiring. 'It had given me the chance to train to help people to get control over alcohol, which is something I was really fascinated by.' And then the pandemic happened. 'Covid was like a big shift,' said Sandra, 'because I could see how many people were struggling, people's alcohol intake just seemed to shoot up. At the same time, the company I worked for gave us the opportunity to take redundancy. So, I had learned how to become a coach. I could see all these people were struggling, and I thought, 'Why not?" 'I'd never planned to do this full time, but it just felt like the right thing to do. If I'd spoken to you 10 years and you said I was drinking, I would have thought 'you've got me mixed up with somebody else'. 'If you told me that I was going to be helping other people stop drinking, I would have been really shocked.' Despite being such a major change, leaving her old job to embark on a career as a certified alcohol coach was such a major change, but as Sandra says, 'felt like the right thing to do'. The people she works with come to her, which means they have identified that their drinking is an issue, and are in the mindset of wanting to stop. Sandra added: 'The people I work with are pretty high-achieving, and they're not at rock bottom.' Describing her typical clients, she said they had 'high standards' for themselves, were usually over-45, and beginning to worry that heavy drinking might be impacting their health. 'Or sometimes they're just realising that for their job, the mental clarity that they need, they're not going to be able to maintain it,' she continued. Because the people Sandra works with are successful, it is often easier for them to hide their drinking behind upmarket activities - like expensive wine tastings. Sandra added: 'There are clients I have worked with who have had wine fridges, who have been really into wine tasting. 'And there's definitely a demographic where people are able to kind of fool themselves because they'll say, 'I never touch spirits, or I never drink before six o'clock, or I only drink quality red wine'. 'And there are so many ways that when we do that, we can tell ourselves that alcohol is just a harmless, sophisticated indulgence. But the reality is, it doesn't actually matter what type of alcohol it is.' She noted that when people start to get defensive about their drinking, or try and justify it, there is 'probably something there', that needs further looking at. When it comes to the best way to tackle problem drinking, Sandra said: 'I think some people worry about whether they are an alcoholic. And I think what's good to know is that the doctors don't use that term anymore, so they would talk about Alcohol Use Disorder. 'So when I'm speaking to people, what I tend to ask is, 'Are you drinking more than you want?'. I think that's the first question to ask, because then the amount becomes a bit irrelevant, and it's about whether the person is regularly drinking more than they want.' If they reply affirmatively, she continued, Sandra asks them: 'What would it feel like right now if someone said to you, "Don't drink for a week or a month?" For most people, if they don't have any problem with alcohol, that shouldn't be an issue, she continued. 'But if you suddenly thought of all the reasons why you wouldn't be able to give up for a week or a month, then that's a sign that is taking a bit of a hold,' Sandra explained. Her best advice for people trying to control their drinking is simply to be honest with themselves and 'not to try and normalise' the habit. Sandra added that she recommends people cut their drinking down over a period of time, and while doing so, they may notice why they've been drinking, and what they are trying to numb by drinking to excess - whether that is work stress, boredom, or something else. There is still a stigma around alcohol misuse, according to Sandra, who said one of the things clients often say to her is that she is the first person they've spoken to about their drinking. She added that it is 'incredibly rewarding' when people give up alcohol, and you see them go from struggling to seeing their confidence and quality of life surge. For people who are struggling with drinking, Sandra said: 'If people have tried to cut down before, and have framed it as being really hard, and making them miserable, then there is a different way to do it. 'I focus on helping people change their mindset, because if you're not bothered about alcohol, then you don't feel deprived. 'There's definitely a way that we can look at the different reasons why people are stuck, and we can change those beliefs. And if you change those beliefs and you don't want to drink, you're going to be so much happier than trying and failing with willpower. If somebody had told me that 20 years ago, I would have been delighted.'
Daily Mail
21 hours ago
- Daily Mail
Daughter of INXS rock legend Kirk Pengilly hits back at nepo baby label: 'I didn't want to be in my dad's shadow'
She's the famous daughter of famed INXS rock legend Kirk Pengilly. But April Rose Pengilly insists that after forging her own successful career as a model and actress, she does not want to live in her dad's 'shadow'. April Rose, 37, who is set to marry fiancé Adam Paul in France this month, says that she did not even use her surname when she started modelling as a teen. 'I didn't want to be in [my dad's] shadow. I kept travelling around and starting over again – I worked in Japan, New York, London,' she told Stellar on Sunday. 'But eventually people figured it out. I'm glad I did it though, because I basically proved to myself that I could make it work.' The daughter of the INXS star and designer Karen Hutchinson, April Rose started modelling at 16 - and used the interview to address being labelled a ' nepo baby '. The well-known derogatory term applies to celebrity offspring who pursue a show business career, and who supposedly owe success to their famous family name. She continued: 'Anything written about me, they'd usually bring my father into it. I'd see comments, and any success I had, it was, "Oh, it's just because of her dad"...That does play on your mind.' Still, April Rose said she would use the Pengilly name even after she marries, even though she says her husband-to-be wants her to change it. 'I've had this name my whole life, so I do feel attached to it. It makes me feel close to my dad, that it's his name. My mum has a different surname; they were never married,' she said. 'They were together for 10 years. But it never bothered me that I had a different surname to her.' Elsewhere in the chat April Rose said she was very proud that it was INXS came in at number one in Triple J's Hottest 100 Aussie song poll for their hit Never Tear Us Apart. 'I think Australia definitely voted correctly, and it is well deserved,' she said. It comes after April Rose flaunted her enormous diamond engagement ring during an outing with her beau back earlier this year. The former Neighbours actress announced her engagement to Adam Paul in December 2023. 'BEST DAY OF THE YEAR,' the petite blonde captioned the share featuring pictures from her excursion to Sydney's Royal Easter Show back in April. The couple had been together for just under two years when Adam popped the question. Details of the upcoming nuptials have been scarce so far, with April Rose saying last month that clothes shopping had taken priority over wedding planning. 'Starting to look for my future groom's suit,' she captioned an Instagram post in March. 'Honestly, we're doing a lot more outfit shopping than wedding planning. Priorities innit.' April has forged a career for herself as an actress and television star with her father previously saying she didn't 'want to live off my coat-tails'. The star joined Neighbours in 2017, playing Chloe Brennan, and left the famed soap in 2023.
