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Vogue
32 minutes ago
- Vogue
On the Grief—and the Joy—of Parental Estrangement
When I was eight, my mother stood in front of 12 third grade girls, teaching us how to make 'chicken ovens': fold sheets of aluminum foil into pockets; fill them with raw chicken, veggies, and spices; seal them; and place them in the fire. The other mothers who came to chaperone our Girl Scout camp had already praised my mom for organizing a wholesome weekend in the rustic Florida wilderness, but with her simple but delicious meals, she became the most popular Girl Scout leader our troop ever had. This was my mother at her best: playing board games, preparing vintage meals, and organizing elaborate birthday parties. 'I want us to be best friends,' she often said, with a tenderness that made me believe I could forgive her for anything. But my mother had also struggled with substance abuse and mental unwellness since she was a teenager. When I was in high school and my father passed away, Mom disappeared for weeks, leaving me to care for my younger brother. When she was home, she bounced between unpredictable rage and a childlike, booze-induced playfulness. Without meaning to, we reversed roles. I woke up early to make coffee and breakfast, went to school and work, and returned home to make dinner; she slept most of the day and left joints burning on the counter as she stumbled to bed at dawn. By 17, I'd had enough. I moved out and helped my brother move in with our uncle. For the next two decades, I cycled through periods of trying to connect with my mother and setting strong boundaries around her drug use and behavior. Then, in my mid-30s, I ended our relationship for good. I wasn't angry when I cut off contact. Years of therapy had brought me to a place of feeling compassion for my mother's struggles, while also knowing that supporting her through them was not my responsibility. I believe that saying goodbye to my mom was the healthiest move I could make, both for myself and for my children. But it was also one of the hardest things I've ever done. Redefining my life since then has been a process of unlearning, joy, and grief. After enduring the deaths of my dad, grandparents, and every other adult who knew me growing up, saying goodbye to Mom felt akin to severing myself from my own childhood. My only sibling is two years younger than I am, so nobody is left to tell me stories of my life from before my memory started. But over time, I realized that my grief over my mom had partly predated our estrangement. For my whole life, I'd longed for the kind of care that doesn't come with consequence. While my mom could orchestrate a gorgeous celebration and listen thoroughly when I needed a sounding board for my failures, at work or in relationships ('You can talk to Mom about anything,' my brother would say. 'She won't judge you because she's probably done worse'), anger and cruelty—and then shame and apologies—bloomed out of her unpredictably. I couldn't trust her softness.
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
Hank Poore Foundation gives inclusion kits to Rise Center families
The Hank Poore Foundation wants to make it easier for groups in the Tuscaloosa community to be able to include people with varying abilities in their activities. The Rise Center wanted to help the foundation get its message out. The collaboration produced an Aug. 15 ice cream social loaded with smiles dripping with the remains of the frozen confections and all the new Rise families received packages from the foundation containing helpful tips to make it inclusion easier. Organizers want the families to be the first to receive the packages and hope to distribute others in the community. Ashley Ferry, executive director of the Hank Poore Foundation, said, "We applied for a grant with the Tombigbee RC&D Council so we could collaborate with Rise on this parent support program. We worked with some of the staff and teachers here at Rise and we created an inclusion kit that parents can take and use." The kit includes a children's book written by Kelly Gregory, titled, "Say Hello." Also in the kit are suggestions, tips and pamphlets, stickers and magnets to help people learn how to make inclusion a normal part of life. More: Rise Center preschool program celebrates 50 years at University of Alabama "The idea with the book is if you see someone who is different or has different abilities, just say 'Hello,' be a friend," Ferry said. "What we really envision is parents can take this kit and give it to a coach, or a dance teacher, or an art teacher and say, 'Here are some tools to help you be more inclusive in what you do,' " Ferry said. The author of the book provided a substantial discount to the foundation and the grant from the RC&D Foundation was $10,000, allowing the foundation to create 325 kits. Parents attending the back-to-school ice cream social were given the kits to take and use. For more information about the Hank Poore Foundation, go to For more information about the Rise Center, go to Reach Gary Cosby Jr. at To support his work, please subscribe to The Tuscaloosa News. This article originally appeared on The Tuscaloosa News: Foundation's kits help make inclusion an everyday part of life Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
Strawbery Banke Museum announces opening date and renaming of historic building
PORTSMOUTH — Strawbery Banke Museum will celebrate the public opening of the newly restored Penhallow-Cousins House on Friday, April 24, 2026. Formerly known as the Penhallow House, the structure has undergone extensive restoration, research, and reinterpretation. The updated name pays tribute to the Cousins family, a Black family who lived in the home from 1937 to 1943, during the Great Depression and the early years of World War II. The house was home to Kenneth and Eleanor Cousins and their daughter, Geraldine 'Jeri' Cousins Palmer, a trailblazing community leader and founding member of the Seacoast African American Cultural Center. Palmer left behind a rich oral history recounting her time in the home. Her daughter, Judith Baumann, generously contributed family artifacts and stories, enabling the museum to authentically recreate the home's interior. Strawbery Banke has worked closely with the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire, the Seacoast African American Cultural Center, and other community partners to ensure the exhibit reflects and honors the lived experiences, history, and voices of those connected to the home. The restored house will feature a blend of family belongings and period-appropriate museum acquisitions, including handmade quilts, books, kitchenware, roller skates, and a framed photograph of Abraham Lincoln. Personal belongings like jewelry, hair combs, and a bottle of French perfume, all based on archaeological discoveries from around the house, will be displayed in Eleanor and Kenneth's bedroom. A reproduction of a portrait of Willietta Richardson, Palmer's maternal grandmother and a fortune teller and tarot reader, will hang in the living room. The exhibition will go beyond objects to immerse visitors in the daily life and social world of the Cousins family. Jazz music will capture the spirit of their social gatherings, while recreated church bulletins from The People's Baptist Church— known as 'The Pearl'— highlight their deep ties to faith and community. Oral histories have guided the precise placement of household elements, from the family piano to the kitchen table, making this one of the most personal and detailed interpretations ever undertaken by the museum. 'This is one of the most personal, immersive exhibits Strawbery Banke has ever created, and it marks a major step in telling more inclusive, community-centered histories of the people who lived in the Puddle Dock neighborhood of Portsmouth,' said Linnea Grim, president and CEO, Thomas W. Haas Endowed Chair, of Strawbery Banke Museum. About the Penhallow-Cousins House Built in 1750 by Samuel Penhallow, a respected magistrate and deacon of the North Church, the Penhallow-Cousins House is the only remaining saltbox-style home at Strawbery Banke and one of the few left in Portsmouth. Originally located at the southeast corner of Court and Pleasant Streets, the house was moved in 1862 on rollers to its current location on Washington Street—when the tide still flowed into Puddle Dock and Canoe Bridge spanned its upper end. Restoration of the building began in October 2023 and will open to the public on April 24, 2026. The home is part of the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire. For more information, visit Funding for the Penhallow House restoration was provided in part by grants from the National Endowment for the Humanities: Democracy Demands Wisdom and the New Hampshire Land and Community Heritage Investment Program. Additionally, funding came through the Cogswell Benevolent Trust, the Samuel P. Hunt Foundation, an anonymous foundation, and the McIninch Foundation, as well as from private donations to the Building Community: The Campaign for Strawbery Banke. This article originally appeared on Portsmouth Herald: Strawbery Banke Museum announces opening of Penhallow-Cousins House Solve the daily Crossword
