Indie legend Miki Berenyi: ‘There was a falling out in Lush. And, if I'm honest, it still hurts'

The Guardian

20-02-2025

You've talked about how trying to break America led to Lush almost breaking up by the time of Chris Acland's death. Did you actually want that level of success? tomfowler500If we had, then we wouldn't have been on 4AD – because Pixies and Cocteau Twins were on 4AD and neither of them had a Top 10 single. They were popular and respected, but 4AD was not the label to push you up the Billboard charts. I don't think any of us were built for that treadmill, or those long distances, and it's hard not to lose your mind. I used to prepare for tours by taking Linguaphone tapes and thinking, 'I'm going to learn Italian'. But within two weeks I was pissed out of my mind and shagging around and acting like an animal.
Do you have a favourite memory of Chris you'd like to share? Mr_202I was at college with Chris. I went out with him. I knew him closely for a decade, so there's not a single anecdote that sums him up. He was genuine, honest, likeable, good humoured. Not a shred of arrogance. What you got was really him. He wasn't putting it on. He was just a joy to be around. I think he obviously went through something very difficult which must have overwhelmed him and ended with him taking his own life, but that wasn't who he was. When I got the news, my overwhelming feeling was that I just wanted to run out of the room, up the street and away from it. I like to think that now he'd have been very happy, with a big family up in the Lakes.
Thank you for the Lush reunion gigs and the wonderful Blind Spot EP. But why was it all over so quickly? Robot3021The tour was always intended as a one-off, partly because I've got two kids, was the main breadwinner and wasn't going to give up my job in publishing for the precarious finances of a band. Emma [Anderson] had her daughter, too. We had a great time making the EP and it was lovely to sell out the Roundhouse, but the problem in bands is always how you navigate bumps in the road. Without Chris as a balancing influence, Emma and myself had a difficult relationship. Sometimes it was great. Sometimes it could be nasty. I didn't write about it in my book because I didn't want it to be like Morrissey's autobiography, with pages of boringly minute detail on the trial. But there was a falling out and, if I'm honest, it still hurts.
What were the inspirations behind the new Miki Berenyi Trio album, Tripla? SinthnimanshaTripla is Hungarian for 'triple'. I'm half Hungarian and I think what's nice about the language is that you can pick a word and nobody really knows it. There are three people in the band. It was going to be 'three', but three in Hungarian is 'három', which is a bit close to 'harem' – a connotation I don't really want to explore. But 'tripla' sounds quite joyful, and the music is upbeat. I realised that most [pop] lyrics are grounded in being young – love and sex and the energy of youth. It's harder to find things to write about when you're older that isn't gardening or a trip to B&Q, so [on Tripla] there's green politics and social media and stuff. At my age [57], it can sound like you're trying to be relevant and young, but those things affect older people just as much. I wrote about how things affect me emotionally, which I have always done.
Your memoir, Fingers Crossed: How Music Saved Me from Success, was pretty bleak in places. Are you OK now? ElephonseI was OK when I was going through a lot of what's in the book. When you write a memoir, you're writing about a lot of significant moments, but you don't want to give people the impression your life was wall-to-wall drama. I guess no one would have seen the sexual abuse stuff coming [Berenyi alleged that she was abused by her grandmother], even though a lot of people experience it. I didn't really talk about it in interviews because I didn't trust the journalists to handle it properly. I survived, but I didn't like the Daisy Chainsaw/Babes in Toyland image of ripped clothes, smeared lipstick and a hint of violation. One thing that hadn't been talked about is how normalised it becomes in your life and how damaging it can be. Some people become promiscuous, some people self-harm or struggle with relationships. I wrote about how I navigated it, and every now and then I've had a nod from people who've said they went through something similar.
What was the most unexpected – or pleasant – response to your memoir? JimFixxThe great reviews were unexpected, but it meant most to me that people praised the actual writing, because it wasn't ghostwritten. I had so little self-confidence when doing it. I would think: 'No one cares about the singer from Lush doing a bloody autobiography.' It was gruelling. So it was nice to realise that sometimes the smaller stories are the most interesting ones.
From Spurs fan to Spurs fan, how did the Lillies' single And David Seaman Will Be Very Disappointed About That … come about? CoopertapesSimon Raymonde from Cocteau Twins, Moose [Kevin McKillop] and Russell [Yates] from the band Moose, Chris [Acland] and I used to go see Spurs together. When we beat Arsenal in the 1991 FA Cup semi-final, Lush were asked to do a flexi for a club fanzine called The Spur. It was a bit of fun that became a news story. When I turned up for the photo session we'd all been out the night before, so I could barely stop myself from vomiting. We all looked absolutely fucked apart from Simon. My sole contribution to the song was to ad lib '3-1, 3-1', which made Simon very happy.
Will you ever go back to the pinkish-red hair you had in Lush? Or is that part of your past? DaveBrettThere's always an assumption everything I do is thought out and planned – but the only reason I had my hair red was that I'd been mucking about with Crazy Color since I was 14. At 19, I dyed it red and it stayed that way. I'm actually very lazy when it comes to presentation. I cut my own hair and if I find clothing I like that's it for the next two years. On tour in the 90s, people used to stare at me but I zoned out to the point I couldn't see it. I wasn't going to stop dyeing it because some bloke would go: 'Oh, you'd look really pretty if your hair was natural.' The reason I stopped was because, once I had children, I thought: 'I haven't time for this.' You're thankful if you even have time to get dressed.
Did you find the music press a bit cringey in the 90s? It was almost like the writers decided they were as interesting as the artists. ApexPredatorThere's this notion that the music press back in the day was just about building bands up to knock them down – but I actually think it's really hard to write about music well, and especially having to constantly make every band sound unique and not bore everyone witless. It was a hard job, abysmally paid and there were very young people involved. The worst of that period was when you had a muscle-flexing journo trying to score points off a band. It was very tabloid and I don't think bands were treated particularly well. But I've been a freelance subeditor now, so I expect thinking 'I hope I get some shifts' is the same as a music journalist hoping to get that next trip to Los Angeles. Everybody's hustling.
What was it like having Robin Guthrie from Cocteau Twins produce Lush? nicksleftfootWhen Emma was sending out demos, she sent one to Robin and he was interested in us before we signed to 4AD. Then he wanted to produce us. He was brilliant, lovely. We didn't have a clue what we were doing but he brought out the best in us. He came to our gigs, turned up at our Peel session as the backseat driver and really looked after us. For someone like him to genuinely care about our music was just brilliant.
Ride or My Bloody Valentine? buskerdooBoth, because we have personal relationships. [Ride's] Mark Gardener and [MBV's] Debbie Googe are two of the loveliest people around. We went on this amazing American tour with Ride when we were really young, and the Valentines were part of my pre-Lush life. I must have seen them 20 times. Both bands' music is tied up with so many memories that I just can't be objective.
Have you ever found yourself gazing at your shoes while performing? VerulamiumParkRangerNo and I don't think any of us ever gazed at our fucking shoes [laughs]. If we were looking down it was at our effects pedals. The term 'shoegazing' was coined as a sort of insult, so it's very funny that it's become a genre. Revenge of the nerds!
Tripla is out on 4 April on Bella Union. The Miki Berenyi Trio tour starts the same day, at Rough Trade East, London.