Putin launches anti-woke Eurovision rival
It's the beloved festival of camp kitsch that shot Abba and Conchita Wurst to stardom. Now, Vladimir Putin wants his own macho version of Eurovision.
But under the isolated Russian president's stern gaze, it is out with bearded drag crooners and anything to do with decadent Western culture.
The despot has ordered his apparatchiks to reboot the Soviet Union's defunct Intervision song contest as an anti-woke rival to the sequin-laden and LGBT-friendly original.
Eurovision was hugely popular in Russia, which won the competition once, in 2008.
But in 2021, Manizha became the last Russian act to perform in the contest, which took place in Rotterdam, Netherlands, because the following year, the county was thrown out of the contest after it invaded Ukraine.
Ukraine then went on to win the contest for the third time.
Liliya Gumerova, a Russian senator, told state media on Monday that Intervision would 'promote real music' and 'not fake values that are alien to any normal person'.
She slammed Eurovision for including performers such as Wurst, who won in 2014 with the song Rise Like A Phoenix.
Shirtless and covered in pink ruffles, Switzerland's entry Nemo was crowned the first non-binary singer to win Eurovision in 2024.
The Kremlin was fuming. It has 'surpassed any orgy, revelry or ritual sacrilege', cried Maria Zakharova, Russia's foreign ministry spokesman, condemning the competition as another 'funeral' for Western Europe.
Fun-starved Russians can instead look forward to staid patriotic fare in Moscow later this year, organised under the watchful eye of Dmitry Chernyshenko, the deputy prime minister.
Light-hearted Graham Norton-style commentary will be unlikely as singers drawn from the ranks of communist China and pro-Putin influencers take to the stage to celebrate traditional values.
According to Putin's decree, Intervision will serve to increase the 'development of international cultural and humanitarian cooperation'.
Moscow has attempted to position itself as an 'anti-woke' sanctuary in recent years, offering Western citizens a chance to emigrate to Russia.
Putin said the aim of providing such 'humanitarian aid' was to 'save' those who identify with Russian 'spiritual and moral values' from 'destructive neoliberal ideological attitudes' in the West.
The Kremlin claims almost 20 countries are ready to take part in Intervision, including all the members of the BRICS and CIS blocs.
That includes China, India and Brazil, which have not joined the Western sanctions against Moscow and maintain relations with a pariah president wanted for war crimes.
North Korea, whose soldiers are being forced to fight in Ukraine, already competes in the Own Asiavision Song Contest.
It was not immediately clear who would represent Russia in a contest, which will fall far short of the sexy cheekiness of Buck's Fizz or the smiley joyousness of Space Man singer Sam Ryder.
Many of Russia's most popular musicians have fled the country or been blacklisted after criticising the war in Ukraine.
One candidate who could take centre stage is Shaman, best known for his Ya Russki (I'm Russian) song.
It has been adopted as the unofficial anthem of a nationalist wave that has swept parts of the country since the war in Ukraine. School pupils have been ordered to study the song to 'boost their patriotism'.
Shaman shared the stage with Putin at a concert in Moscow's Red Square in 2022 as the Russian leader described the war in Ukraine as a battle against the 'satanic' West.
Lyube, Putin's favourite rock band, could also play a central role in Intervision.
The band made more money from pro-Kremlin concerts in the first 16 months after the war in Ukraine than in the previous eight years, according to Agentstvo, a Russian news outlet banned by the Kremlin.
Then there are the pro-Putin Z Influencers, named after the letter that shows support for Russia's invasion.
Polina Gagarina, who boasts nine million followers on Instagram, came second in the 2015 Eurovision with peace anthem A Million Voices. Since then the blonde has changed her tune, singing patriotic songs at rallies supporting the invasion of Ukraine.
Singer Yulia Chicherina has been known to perform her songs in occupied Ukraine, often for troops hunkered down in a bunker. On a recent visit to Russian soldiers in occupied Ukraine, she was presented, to her delight, with a stolen Chanel bag, which she posted on social media.
Chicherina, who performed during an event to celebrate the ninth anniversary of Russia's annexation of Crimea, was a relatively unknown indie-rock artist until she resurfaced after Putin seized control of the Ukrainian territory.
'This is a war of orthodoxy against the Antichrist,' she said about the war in Ukraine.
It's not the sort of comment one can imagine Cilla Black or Cliff Richard coming out with back when they were racking up the points for the UK in the 1960s.
Putin previously attempted to launch a 'world festival of friendship' in Russia last year after the country was banned from the Olympics.
The project was postponed indefinitely and many hope the Russian president could soon meet his Waterloo as well.
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