2 ‘Gentle Parenting' Traps a Developmental Psychologist Is Calling Out

People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

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21 hours ago

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People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say originally appeared on Parade. When people hold a newborn baby, they typically make a cradle with their arms. There's nothing wrong with this position—in fact, it's protective. However, sometimes caregivers can continue to "cradle" a child in a figurative sense long after it's age-appropriate, and psychologists warn this tactic can become coddling. "Coddling is essentially overprotecting a child from failure or discomfort to shield them from any emotional pain," explains , a psychologist with Thriveworks. "It is typically done out of love, but it can hinder their growth."Indeed, we learn from challenges and mistakes, which coddling can prevent. "When children are always coddled, it doesn't give them any room to learn problem-solving skills," Dr. Saidi continues. "They do not get to build any frustration tolerance or resilience. Even though the intentions are good, the result is often underdeveloped coping skills."As a result, people who were coddled as kids often develop certain traits. Psychologists share 11 common characteristics of adults who were coddled as children, along with tips for 11 Traits of People Who Were Coddled as Children, According to Psychologists 1. Low frustration tolerance As kids, some caretakers "snowplow" or remove hurdles so they can accomplish a task. One psychologist observes these effects decades later, revealing that her patients who were coddled as children now struggle to stand in line, sit in traffic or cope with unexpected weather conditions."People who were coddled as kids have difficulty persisting when tasks become difficult or uncomfortable in adulthood," explains ., a psychologist with Todey Psychology. "This is partly because they were not given enough opportunities as children to practice pushing through challenges on their own. Their threshold for discomfort is low, and they may give up quickly or feel overwhelmed by relatively minor obstacles." 2. Over-reliance on external validation Self-confidence comes from a strong sense of self. However, coddling can (often unintentionally) rob a person of that."Because they were praised often or rescued quickly, they may look outward to feel worthy," Dr. Saidi warns. "Without praise or applause, they may struggle to know if they are doing 'good enough.'"Related: 3. Dependency on others for emotional regulation People who were overprotected as children may require more than praise from others to feel whole. Dr. Todey warns that these individuals often didn't get much practice identifying, tolerating and managing big feelings."People who were coddled as kids may rely on others to soothe or rescue them, even in adulthood," she shares. "This can show up in romantic relationships, the workplace, or friendships and can lead to codependency or over-reliance on external validation to regulate emotions or maintain self-esteem."For instance, she has adult patients who have difficulties being single and may jump into or stay in unhealthy relationships to avoid being 4. Difficulty making decisions The big people in a coddled child's life often made decisions for them or didn't require them to live with consequences for poor choices."They may still expect others to make decisions for fear of making the 'wrong' one," Dr. Saidi warns. "They may also seek constant reassurance." 5. Lack of healthy boundaries A poor sense of self contributes to this one too, a psychologist warns."Coddling involves boundary violations that disempower the coddled," says Dr. Catherine Hormats, LP, MA, GPCC, a psychologist, psychoanalyst and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "They are used to being misattuned to and may wind up in relationships where they are controlled or dominated, just like with their coddler."Related: 6. Entitlement Dr. Todey warns that rushing to meet a child's every need and prevent distress at all costs can lead to a sense of entitlement in adulthood."They may expect that others will accommodate their preferences or shield them from discomfort as adults," she says. "This sets them up for painful disappointment in the real world. At work, adults who were coddled as children may enter the workforce expecting a high starting salary, easy career progression or preferential treatment."Dr. Todey shares that it can extend to personal relationships too, such as expecting roommates and partners to do most of the household 7. Conflict avoidance Conflict isn't necessarily fun, but it's hard to coast through life without experiencing it. People who were coddled as kids may try, though—and it's a product of their upbringing."Coddling often means smoothing over any emotional tension quickly to avoid negative emotions," Dr. Saidi explains. "This may lead to never learning how to navigate disagreements. Adults who were coddled as children may be more likely to ghost, shut down or withdraw to avoid confrontation." 8. Difficulty with accountability Mistakes are learning opportunities. Yet, if people were overindulged as kids, they may not have learned how to sit with the discomfort of making mistakes—or even understand that they aren't perfect. "If parents constantly defend or excuse their behavior, these children may grow into adults who externalize blame or have difficulty accepting constructive feedback," Dr. Todey warns. "Adults who were coddled as children may have never been given the opportunity to build the emotional muscle to face hard truths. They may be prone to blame shifting and even gaslighting others who give them feedback." 9. Poor coping skills Life has its challenging moments, and effective coping skills help us navigate them—if you're given the chance to build them through experience."Adults who were coddled as children often have not experienced safe struggle or stress, so they may feel very challenged by ordinary life stressors," Dr. Saidi explains. "They may also tend to catastrophize small problems and shut down."Related: 10. Difficulty caring for themselves and others There's such a thing as caring too much—and it's the blueprint for a coddled child's upbringing. Unfortunately, and perhaps ironically, Dr. Hormats warns that these children can develop into adults who are unable to care for themselves."This includes emotional, physical, financial and psychological [care]," she explains. "I have a friend who bought new clothes every time his old ones got dirty because he never learned how to do laundry." 11. Emotional immaturity Dr. Hormats reveals that infantilizing children after they're infants can stunt their emotional growth. "Coddling may be a way of infantilizing someone, or treating them like a child, denying them a sense of maturity or autonomy," she says. "I have a friend who sometimes sounds like a 5-year-old girl when talking on the phone to her parents. I have the feeling that when they coddle her, as they often do, she regresses into a very childlike state."Related: How To Heal if You Were Coddled as a Child 1. Build frustration tolerance slowly Coddled kids often grow into adults with little to no frustration tolerance. However, it won't be built in a day—after all, you don't expect yourself to go from lifting no weights to 35-pound ones with one set of 10 bicep Saidi recommends developing the ability to cope with stress and setbacks progressively."Start with intentionally doing small tasks such as making a tough phone call or sitting with uncertainty," she suggests. "Journaling discomfort can help track growth."She also suggests reminding yourself that discomfort isn't dangerous but rather a normal part of growth. Dr. Todey also encourages patients to stay the course as their brain wires itself to manage frustration. "Each time you survive a challenge, your brain learns: 'I can do hard things,'" she emphasizes. 2. Practice emotional independence This one will reduce the chronic need for external validation."Learn to self-soothe rather than always seeking reassurance from others," Dr. Saidi advises. "Ask yourself, 'What do I need right now that I am hoping someone else will give me?'" 3. Learn to say no Boundaries are key, and you deserve to set and maintain them. Dr. Hormats suggests a mindset shift around the word "No.""NO means 'new opportunity,'" she says. "If you are feeling smothered with caretaking, learn to say 'NO' and walk away." Up Next: Sources: Dr. Crystal Saidi, Psy.D., a psychologist with Thriveworks Dr. Amy Kincaid Todey, Ph.D., a psychologist with Todey Psychology Dr. Catherine Hormats, LP, MA, GPCC, a psychologist, psychoanalyst and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say first appeared on Parade on Aug 17, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Aug 17, 2025, where it first appeared.

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2 days ago

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People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say originally appeared on Parade. When people hold a newborn baby, they typically make a cradle with their arms. There's nothing wrong with this position—in fact, it's protective. However, sometimes caregivers can continue to "cradle" a child in a figurative sense long after it's age-appropriate, and psychologists warn this tactic can become coddling. "Coddling is essentially overprotecting a child from failure or discomfort to shield them from any emotional pain," explains , a psychologist with Thriveworks. "It is typically done out of love, but it can hinder their growth."Indeed, we learn from challenges and mistakes, which coddling can prevent. "When children are always coddled, it doesn't give them any room to learn problem-solving skills," Dr. Saidi continues. "They do not get to build any frustration tolerance or resilience. Even though the intentions are good, the result is often underdeveloped coping skills."As a result, people who were coddled as kids often develop certain traits. Psychologists share 11 common characteristics of adults who were coddled as children, along with tips for 11 Traits of People Who Were Coddled as Children, According to Psychologists 1. Low frustration tolerance As kids, some caretakers "snowplow" or remove hurdles so they can accomplish a task. One psychologist observes these effects decades later, revealing that her patients who were coddled as children now struggle to stand in line, sit in traffic or cope with unexpected weather conditions."People who were coddled as kids have difficulty persisting when tasks become difficult or uncomfortable in adulthood," explains ., a psychologist with Todey Psychology. "This is partly because they were not given enough opportunities as children to practice pushing through challenges on their own. Their threshold for discomfort is low, and they may give up quickly or feel overwhelmed by relatively minor obstacles." 2. Over-reliance on external validation Self-confidence comes from a strong sense of self. However, coddling can (often unintentionally) rob a person of that."Because they were praised often or rescued quickly, they may look outward to feel worthy," Dr. Saidi warns. "Without praise or applause, they may struggle to know if they are doing 'good enough.'"Related: 3. Dependency on others for emotional regulation People who were overprotected as children may require more than praise from others to feel whole. Dr. Todey warns that these individuals often didn't get much practice identifying, tolerating and managing big feelings."People who were coddled as kids may rely on others to soothe or rescue them, even in adulthood," she shares. "This can show up in romantic relationships, the workplace, or friendships and can lead to codependency or over-reliance on external validation to regulate emotions or maintain self-esteem."For instance, she has adult patients who have difficulties being single and may jump into or stay in unhealthy relationships to avoid being 4. Difficulty making decisions The big people in a coddled child's life often made decisions for them or didn't require them to live with consequences for poor choices."They may still expect others to make decisions for fear of making the 'wrong' one," Dr. Saidi warns. "They may also seek constant reassurance." 5. Lack of healthy boundaries A poor sense of self contributes to this one too, a psychologist warns."Coddling involves boundary violations that disempower the coddled," says Dr. Catherine Hormats, LP, MA, GPCC, a psychologist, psychoanalyst and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "They are used to being misattuned to and may wind up in relationships where they are controlled or dominated, just like with their coddler."Related: 6. Entitlement Dr. Todey warns that rushing to meet a child's every need and prevent distress at all costs can lead to a sense of entitlement in adulthood."They may expect that others will accommodate their preferences or shield them from discomfort as adults," she says. "This sets them up for painful disappointment in the real world. At work, adults who were coddled as children may enter the workforce expecting a high starting salary, easy career progression or preferential treatment."Dr. Todey shares that it can extend to personal relationships too, such as expecting roommates and partners to do most of the household 7. Conflict avoidance Conflict isn't necessarily fun, but it's hard to coast through life without experiencing it. People who were coddled as kids may try, though—and it's a product of their upbringing."Coddling often means smoothing over any emotional tension quickly to avoid negative emotions," Dr. Saidi explains. "This may lead to never learning how to navigate disagreements. Adults who were coddled as children may be more likely to ghost, shut down or withdraw to avoid confrontation." 8. Difficulty with accountability Mistakes are learning opportunities. Yet, if people were overindulged as kids, they may not have learned how to sit with the discomfort of making mistakes—or even understand that they aren't perfect. "If parents constantly defend or excuse their behavior, these children may grow into adults who externalize blame or have difficulty accepting constructive feedback," Dr. Todey warns. "Adults who were coddled as children may have never been given the opportunity to build the emotional muscle to face hard truths. They may be prone to blame shifting and even gaslighting others who give them feedback." 9. Poor coping skills Life has its challenging moments, and effective coping skills help us navigate them—if you're given the chance to build them through experience."Adults who were coddled as children often have not experienced safe struggle or stress, so they may feel very challenged by ordinary life stressors," Dr. Saidi explains. "They may also tend to catastrophize small problems and shut down."Related: 10. Difficulty caring for themselves and others There's such a thing as caring too much—and it's the blueprint for a coddled child's upbringing. Unfortunately, and perhaps ironically, Dr. Hormats warns that these children can develop into adults who are unable to care for themselves."This includes emotional, physical, financial and psychological [care]," she explains. "I have a friend who bought new clothes every time his old ones got dirty because he never learned how to do laundry." 11. Emotional immaturity Dr. Hormats reveals that infantilizing children after they're infants can stunt their emotional growth. "Coddling may be a way of infantilizing someone, or treating them like a child, denying them a sense of maturity or autonomy," she says. "I have a friend who sometimes sounds like a 5-year-old girl when talking on the phone to her parents. I have the feeling that when they coddle her, as they often do, she regresses into a very childlike state."Related: How To Heal if You Were Coddled as a Child 1. Build frustration tolerance slowly Coddled kids often grow into adults with little to no frustration tolerance. However, it won't be built in a day—after all, you don't expect yourself to go from lifting no weights to 35-pound ones with one set of 10 bicep Saidi recommends developing the ability to cope with stress and setbacks progressively."Start with intentionally doing small tasks such as making a tough phone call or sitting with uncertainty," she suggests. "Journaling discomfort can help track growth."She also suggests reminding yourself that discomfort isn't dangerous but rather a normal part of growth. Dr. Todey also encourages patients to stay the course as their brain wires itself to manage frustration. "Each time you survive a challenge, your brain learns: 'I can do hard things,'" she emphasizes. 2. Practice emotional independence This one will reduce the chronic need for external validation."Learn to self-soothe rather than always seeking reassurance from others," Dr. Saidi advises. "Ask yourself, 'What do I need right now that I am hoping someone else will give me?'" 3. Learn to say no Boundaries are key, and you deserve to set and maintain them. Dr. Hormats suggests a mindset shift around the word "No.""NO means 'new opportunity,'" she says. "If you are feeling smothered with caretaking, learn to say 'NO' and walk away." Up Next: Sources: Dr. Crystal Saidi, Psy.D., a psychologist with Thriveworks Dr. Amy Kincaid Todey, Ph.D., a psychologist with Todey Psychology Dr. Catherine Hormats, LP, MA, GPCC, a psychologist, psychoanalyst and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say first appeared on Parade on Aug 17, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Aug 17, 2025, where it first appeared.

The Genius Kitchen Sponge Hack We Wish We'd Known About Sooner

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2 days ago

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The Genius Kitchen Sponge Hack We Wish We'd Known About Sooner

The Genius Kitchen Sponge Hack We Wish We'd Known About Sooner originally appeared on Parade. As a mom of four young kids, I'm always out of ice packs. They go off in lunch boxes and just don't come back, or my house somehow swallows them after they were used to treat a minor injury. As the ice packs mysteriously disappear (maybe they're with all of the lost socks?), I'm left regularly buying new ones and feeling seriously grumpy about it. And that's why I was very excited when I stumbled across a DIY ice pack hack on social media. (It's the little things, folks!) All you need is a kitchen sponge, some water and a zip-top bag. I was instantly sold—and my monthly Amazon bill is about to go down as a result. Here's what you need to know to try this trick at your house. Related: 😋😋 SIGN UP to get delicious recipes, handy kitchen hacks & more in our daily Parade Eats newsletter. 🍳🍔 What Is the Kitchen Sponge Ice Pack Trick? TikTok is packed with these sponge ice packs. Some people (like @ cut them into small pieces, get them wet and freeze them, like the ones here. Others simply take a regular full-size kitchen sponge, get it wet, freeze it and use it the next day. Like this version shared by the @moms account. What Makes the Kitchen Sponge Hack So Great? There are so many reasons to love the kitchen sponge hack. For starters, it's cheap. Ice packs can run you about $9 for a set, while a set of kitchen sponges costs a fraction of that. Ice packs also tend to have unspecified ingredients that inevitably leak out at some point, whether from rough use or time. That makes me nervous when they're used next to food, skin and faces. But a baggie-covered sponge is a pretty harmless product. A big complaint with my kids is that ice packs are too cold or too hard, but a sponge is soft—even when it's frozen and thanks to its air pockets, it's not as cold as a standard ice pack. As it thaws, the sponge-pack also conforms to the shape of what it's touching, making it more comfortable for my kiddos. Finally, because my house (and kids) are a black hole for ice packs, I'm less annoyed when one of these gets lost because it ultimately ends up costing me less. Related: How to Turn Your Kitchen Sponges Into Ice Packs The kitchen sponge hack is pretty easy to pull off. Just take a sponge, wet it well and toss it in the freezer. When you need an ice pack for a lunchbox or an injury, pull it out, put it in a zip-top bag and use it. They're also super easy to reuse: Just wet them and put them back in the freezer. If you prefer to use smaller pieces, cut up your sponge with scissors, wet the pieces, and freeze them in a baggie. You can either redistribute those pieces in another baggie when you're ready to use them, or pull out the whole thing. Up Next: The Genius Kitchen Sponge Hack We Wish We'd Known About Sooner first appeared on Parade on Aug 17, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Aug 17, 2025, where it first appeared. Solve the daily Crossword

2 ‘Gentle Parenting' Traps a Developmental Psychologist Is Calling Out

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People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

The Genius Kitchen Sponge Hack We Wish We'd Known About Sooner

2 ‘Gentle Parenting' Traps a Developmental Psychologist Is Calling Out

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People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

People Who Were 'Coddled' as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

The Genius Kitchen Sponge Hack We Wish We'd Known About Sooner

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