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The story of Kabelo: Steenhuisen slams ANC corruption, outdated policies behind SA's ‘economic decay'

The story of Kabelo: Steenhuisen slams ANC corruption, outdated policies behind SA's ‘economic decay'

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13 Manipulation Tactics That Look Like 'Normal' Relationship Behavior
13 Manipulation Tactics That Look Like 'Normal' Relationship Behavior

Yahoo

timean hour ago

  • Yahoo

13 Manipulation Tactics That Look Like 'Normal' Relationship Behavior

When you're navigating the complexities of a relationship, it's easy to overlook behaviors that might seem normal but can actually be harmful. Sometimes, what appears to be just a quirky trait or a harmless habit can be a sign of manipulation. Being aware of these tactics can help you better understand the dynamics at play and ensure you're in a healthy relationship. So, here are 13 manipulation tactics that might look like normal relationship behavior but aren't. 1. "Harmless" Jokes Making jokes at your expense might seem harmless, especially if it's framed as just teasing or good-natured ribbing. However, this behavior can undermine your confidence and create an imbalance in the relationship. It's a way to subtly criticize or belittle you while maintaining plausible deniability. Over time, these "jokes" can erode your self-esteem and make you question your worth. It's essential to express how these jokes affect you. A partner who cares for you will respect your feelings and adjust their behavior accordingly. If they continue making jokes at your expense despite knowing it hurts you, it's a red flag of deeper issues. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and kindness, not on humor that comes at the other's expense. Stand up for yourself and demand the respect you deserve. 2. Over-the-Top Compliments Flattery can be nice, but when it feels excessive or insincere, it might be a red flag. Over-the-top compliments can be a way to make you feel special, but they can also be a way to manipulate your emotions. By showering you with praise, a manipulative person might be trying to create a sense of indebtedness. They want you to feel like you owe them something in return for all the positive attention. This tactic can make it difficult to see the relationship's flaws because you're constantly being distracted by the extravagant praise. It's essential to differentiate between genuine admiration and manipulation. Genuine compliments are specific and thoughtful, whereas manipulative flattery tends to be vague and overblown. If someone is consistently giving you over-the-top compliments while ignoring your boundaries or needs, it's a sign something isn't right. You shouldn't feel pressured to reciprocate just because someone is laying it on thick. Trust your instincts and pay attention to the balance of give-and-take in your relationship. 3. Guilt Trips Guilt trips are a classic manipulation tactic that can be difficult to recognize because they often masquerade as concern or affection. This behavior might involve someone making you feel guilty for not spending enough time with them, even if you've been busy with legitimate responsibilities. According to Dr. Guy Winch, a licensed psychologist and author, guilt trips are emotionally manipulative because they make you feel responsible for someone else's unhappiness. This tactic can be emotionally exhausting and leave you feeling like you're constantly at fault. When you find yourself on the receiving end of a guilt trip, take a step back and analyze the situation. Ask yourself if the guilt being projected onto you is justified or if it's a way to manipulate your actions. A healthy relationship should allow for open and honest discussions about time and attention, rather than resorting to guilt. Be wary of anyone who uses guilt to control your behavior or keep you in line. Instead, look for relationships where open communication is the norm, not the exception. 4. Gaslighting Gaslighting is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but it's crucial to understand how it functions in relationships. This tactic involves making you doubt your own perceptions and memory, leaving you feeling confused and disoriented. A partner might insist that you remember an event incorrectly or deny something they said, making you question your own reality. The goal of gaslighting is to undermine your confidence so that you become more dependent on the manipulator for validation. When you suspect gaslighting, pay attention to your feelings and trust your intuition. Keep a journal of events and conversations to help you maintain a clear record of reality. Gaslighting is insidious because it can erode your self-trust and impact your mental health over time. A partner who respects you will not try to warp your perception of reality. Instead, they will be open to discussing differences in memory and perception without belittling you. 5. Playing The Victim Playing the victim is a manipulative tactic where someone exaggerates or fabricates their own suffering to elicit sympathy and shift blame. This behavior can make you feel guilty for setting boundaries or disagreeing with them. By portraying themselves as the victim, a manipulator can gain control over the relationship dynamic. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, this tactic is often used by people with high levels of narcissism. It's essential to recognize when someone is using their victim status to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. If you find yourself constantly comforting someone who always seems to be the victim, take a step back. Ask yourself if their complaints are consistent with reality or if they're blowing things out of proportion. A healthy partner should be able to acknowledge their own role in conflicts and not constantly portray themselves as the wronged party. Don't let manipulative victimhood cloud your judgment or undermine your boundaries. Your feelings and boundaries are just as important as theirs, and you deserve a balanced relationship. 6. Love Bombing Love bombing is a tactic where someone overwhelms you with affection and attention early in the relationship. It might feel flattering, but it's often a way to quickly establish control and create a sense of dependency. This behavior can include excessive texting, constant compliments, and grand gestures that feel too much too soon. While it might seem like an intense connection, it's often a way for manipulators to cloud your judgment and integrate themselves into your life quickly. When you experience love bombing, it's essential to take things slow and assess the situation. Notice if the affection feels genuine or if it's a way to distract you from other problematic behaviors. A person who respects you will understand the importance of building a relationship at a comfortable pace. If someone is pushing you to commit too quickly or showering you with gifts and attention, trust your instincts. Healthy relationships grow gradually and don't rely on overwhelming displays of affection. 7. Triangulation Triangulation involves bringing a third party into your relationship conflicts to create drama or division. It can be a way for someone to manipulate the situation by pitting people against each other. This tactic often involves a partner sharing your personal conflicts with others to gain support or make you feel isolated. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and author, notes that triangulation is common in manipulative relationships, especially where narcissism is involved. It serves to destabilize your sense of security and make you feel dependent on the manipulator for resolution. If you recognize triangulation in your relationship, take steps to establish direct communication with your partner. Make it clear that your relationship issues should be resolved between the two of you, without external interference. A healthy relationship should be a safe space where both parties feel comfortable expressing their concerns directly. Don't allow a manipulator to pull strings from behind the scenes and control your relationship dynamics. Set boundaries and insist on open, honest communication without third-party involvement. 8. Emotional Blackmail Emotional blackmail involves using emotions as leverage to get what they want, often by threatening to withdraw love or approval. It might come across as "If you really loved me, you would..." or "I guess I'll just have to do this without you." This tactic is designed to make you feel guilty or frightened of losing their affection, pushing you to comply with their wishes. It's a subtle form of control that can leave you feeling trapped and emotionally manipulated. Recognizing emotional blackmail is crucial for maintaining healthy boundaries in your relationship. When faced with this tactic, remind yourself that love should not be conditional or come with strings attached. A healthy partner will respect your autonomy and not use emotional threats to control you. Be firm in your boundaries and communicate openly about your feelings and desires. Remember that true love respects individual choices and doesn't rely on manipulation. 9. Competitive Jealousy Competitive jealousy can sometimes be mistaken for passion or protectiveness, but it's often about control. It involves one partner trying to outdo or sabotage the other, often in a subtle or passive-aggressive manner. This can manifest as downplaying your accomplishments or trying to make you jealous by flirting with others. The goal is to keep you on your toes and ensure that your attention stays focused on them. If you notice competitive jealousy, it's important to address it head-on. Talk to your partner about how their behavior makes you feel and the impact it has on your relationship. Healthy partners should celebrate each other's successes and trust each other without feeling the need to compete. A relationship is about mutual support, not rivalry. Ensure that both parties feel valued and respected, not pitted against each other. 10. Boundary Pushing Boundary pushing involves disregarding or challenging the limits you've set in the relationship. This behavior might be subtle, like consistently arriving late despite knowing it bothers you, or more overt, like pressuring you into uncomfortable situations. It's a way of testing how much control they can exert over you and your boundaries. While it may appear as simple forgetfulness or a misunderstanding, it often signals a lack of respect for your autonomy. Setting and maintaining boundaries is key to a healthy relationship. If someone consistently pushes your boundaries, consider it a warning sign. A respectful partner will acknowledge and honor your limits without trying to bend the rules for their benefit. Communicate your boundaries clearly and don't be afraid to enforce them. Remember, a relationship should be a partnership where both parties feel safe and respected. 11. Isolation Isolation is a tactic where someone tries to cut you off from friends, family, or support networks. At first, this might look like wanting to spend more time with you or expressing concern over certain friends. However, the underlying motive is often to make you more dependent on them by weakening your external support system. Isolation can be gradual, making it difficult to notice until you're already cut off. Pay attention to signs of isolation, such as feeling guilty for spending time with others or being criticized for maintaining your relationships. A healthy partner should encourage you to maintain a balanced social life and support your connections with others. If someone is trying to isolate you, reevaluate the relationship's health and your partner's intentions. Trust and freedom should be cornerstones of any strong relationship. Don't allow anyone to diminish your support network. 12. Playing Dumb Playing dumb is when someone feigns ignorance to avoid responsibility or to make you do things for them. This tactic relies on you stepping up to fill the gap, often accommodating their supposed lack of knowledge or skill. It's manipulative because it takes advantage of your willingness to help or educate. They might pretend not to understand something to avoid chores, commitments, or confrontations. When dealing with someone who plays dumb, it's important to resist the urge to overcompensate for them. Encourage them to take responsibility and contribute equally to the relationship. A partner who respects you will not repeatedly feign ignorance as a way to manipulate you. Everyone is capable of learning and growing, and it's not your job to carry the weight of the relationship. Foster an environment of shared responsibility and accountability. 13. Silent Treatment At first glance, the silent treatment might seem like a way for someone to cool off after an argument. However, this tactic is more about control than taking time to reflect. The silent treatment can be a way for people to punish you while leaving you in the dark about what you did wrong. According to Dr. Kipling D. Williams, a professor of psychological sciences at Purdue University, this behavior is a form of social ostracism and can have harmful effects on mental health. The key difference between needing space and the silent treatment is communication—always remember that healthy relationships require open dialogue. When someone gives you the silent treatment, they might be trying to make you feel guilty or anxious. This tactic can lead you to question your actions and even doubt your perceptions, making it easier for the other person to manipulate you. A partner who uses the silent treatment may expect you to apologize, even when you haven't done anything wrong. Over time, this can erode your self-esteem and make you feel like you're always walking on eggshells. Instead of letting this tactic take its toll, stand your ground and demand a more constructive way to address conflicts. Solve the daily Crossword

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