5 Manipulative Phrases Straight Out of a Gaslighter's Playbook, According to Psychologists
Knowing if you're being manipulated or gaslit can be so tricky. By nature, those tactics are insidious, hard to call out and easily twisted. 'It's a psychological power move wrapped in plausible deniability,' says Dr. Cynthia Edwards-Hawver, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and narcissistic burnout recovery coach who helps high-functioning moms break free from narcissistic abuse and emotional exhaustion.The good news is that some manipulative phrases have been recycled for a hot minute and are often clear signs. Ahead, psychologists share five key examples, plus helpful background information on the tactics. The examples aren't all-inclusive, of course, but a solid start.Related: Do Gaslighters Know What They're Doing? Psychologists Share the Truth
Manipulation Vs. Gaslighting
Again, words like 'manipulation' and 'gaslighting' are super buzzy right now and are sometimes used interchangeably. So, let's briefly discuss the difference between them.In short, manipulation is the umbrella term that gaslighting falls under. 'Manipulation is a broader term that encompasses many strategies (guilt-tripping, flattery, deception) to influence someone's actions,' says Dr. Michael G. Wetter, PsyD, APBB, FAACP, a board-certified clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. 'Gaslighting is a specific form of emotional manipulation aimed at distorting another person's perception of reality.'Put another way: 'Where manipulation might guilt you into doing something you don't want to do, gaslighting makes you wonder if you're crazy for not wanting to do it in the first place,' Dr. Edwards-Hawver explains. 'Think of it this way: Manipulation pressures behavior. Gaslighting rewrites truth.'So naturally, the tactics differ. Gaslighting relies on denial, contradiction and misinformation, Dr. Wetter says, while manipulation involves emotional leverage or coercion that doesn't necessarily distort reality.Related:
5 Common Manipulative Phrases, According to Psychologists
1. 'You're too sensitive.'
Maybe you started tearing up or verbally expressed hurt when they made a cruel 'joke.' That's when they're going to bring in this phrase. Gaslighting is all about making you doubt yourself and your perspective, and that's what blaming it on your 'sensitivity' does. 'Instead of taking responsibility for something hurtful, the gaslighter blames your reaction,' Dr. Edwards-Hawver says. 'It trains you to doubt your own emotional responses, eventually making you second-guess whether anything really happened at all.'Dr. Wetter adds, 'It implies that the problem is with the victim's emotions, not the behavior that triggered them, and subtly rewrites the shared experience.'Related:
2. 'That never happened.'
When you remember and mention something that doesn't put the gaslighter in a perfect, positive light, they deny, deny, deny. 'Whether it's a conversation, a promise or even physical aggression, this phrase is meant to make the victim question their memory,' Dr. Edwards-Hawver says.This happening repeatedly over time can chip away at your confidence, she continues, leaving you feeling confused and dependent. And that's a gaslighter's goal.
More Gaslighting-Related Content:14 Genius Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting, According to Psychologists
3. 'You're remembering it wrong.'
This is another way a gaslighter might respond when you mention something that could hurt their image. They don't want you to believe it, so they try to convince you that you're wrong.'By planting doubt about the accuracy of memory, the gaslighter positions themselves as the more reliable narrator of events—even when they are the one distorting the truth,' Dr. Wetter says.To clarify, people can remember events differently without it being a case of gaslighting. The difference is intentionality, malice, the context and any patterns.Related:
4. 'I'm only saying this because I love you.'
A gaslighter may have used this phrase after saying something hurtful. Don't trust it. 'This one is extra toxic because it disguises cruelty as care,' Dr. Edwards-Hawver says. 'It's emotional manipulation disguised as concern, disguised to disarm the other person so they'll accept criticism or control without protest.'Related:
5. 'Everyone else thinks you're crazy too.'
This double whammy pairs gaslighting with social manipulation. 'It isolates the victim and makes them question their own mental state and their support network,' Dr. Wetter says. 'It also introduces the idea of group consensus as a way to pressure conformity and silence dissent.'After all, if everyone (supposedly) thinks you're 'crazy,' it must be true, right? (Wrong.)'Gaslighting is uniquely damaging because it seeks to erode a person's trust in themselves,' Dr. Wetter concludes. 'Understanding the subtle phrases and behaviors associated with gaslighting can empower individuals to recognize and resist this form of abuse.'
Up Next:Sources:
Dr. Cynthia Edwards-Hawver, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and narcissistic burnout recovery coach who helps high-functioning moms break free from narcissistic abuse and emotional exhaustion.
Dr. Michael G. Wetter, PsyD, APBB, FAACP, a board-certified clinical psychologist
When It Might Not Be Gaslighting, Psychology Today
5 Manipulative Phrases Straight Out of a Gaslighter's Playbook, According to Psychologists first appeared on Parade on Jul 20, 2025
This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 20, 2025, where it first appeared.
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I Tried 15 Different Vanilla Ice Cream Brands and the Winner Is a Freezer Aisle Icon
I Tried 15 Different Vanilla Ice Cream Brands and the Winner Is a Freezer Aisle Icon originally appeared on Parade. While chocolate ice cream often takes center stage and trendy flavors come and go with the seasons, I've always maintained a steady loyalty to vanilla. Not for flash or flair, but because when done right, vanilla's simple elegance outshines any mix-ins or gimmicks. It's a quiet confidence, a true showcase of up, vanilla was the scoop I reached for first, not out of habit, but by choice. Long before I could explain why, I was drawn to its subtle, compelling nature. Unlike bold flavors such as rocky road or mint chip, vanilla doesn't shout; it stands firm on its with so many vanilla ice creams in the freezer case, how do you know which to choose? To figure that out, I tasted my way through 15 different brands—from small-batch pints made with single-origin Madagascar or Tahitian beans to grocery store mainstays with decades of brand loyalty behind them—to find the best vanilla ice on to find out which pints of vanilla ice cream to pick up—and which ones to leave in the freezer 😋😋 SIGN UP to get delicious recipes, handy kitchen hacks & more in our daily Pop Kitchen newsletter. 🍳🍔 How I Tasted These Vanilla Ice Creams To keep things fair, and to challenge any preconceived biases, I organized a blind tasting with a team of fellow vanilla ice cream lovers. Labels were removed, pints were numbered, and each sample was scooped into identical bowls and allowed to soften just enough to reveal their true texture and aroma. No packaging cues, no brand loyalty to lean on. Just taste, smell and tasted in rounds, alternating between quick, initial impressions and slower, more contemplative spoonfuls as the ice cream softened in the bowl. Each sample was judged across a few key criteria: the clarity and depth of the vanilla, the balance of sweetness and dairy, the creaminess of the texture and how the flavor evolved as it melted on the tongue. Did it actually taste like real vanilla, or just a vague idea of it? Was the texture dense and custardy, or light and over-aerated? Did it linger on the palate in a luxurious way, or vanish into a chalky thinness after a few seconds? We noted ice crystals, overly whipped bases and artificial aftertastes, details that become impossible to ignore when the only thing you're focusing on is the ice cream itself. Some scoops made an immediate impression, others were more subtle, and a few left us wondering if they'd ever truly met a vanilla bean at tasting turned out to be more than just an exercise in personal preference. It became a reminder of how much intention and detail go into getting something simple exactly right. And now, I'm ready to share the results. Here's how the 15 vanilla ice creams ranked, from the surprisingly forgettable to the truly unforgettable. Related: 15 Popular Vanilla Ice Creams Ranked Worst to Best 15. Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream Blue Bell's Homemade Vanilla delivered a distinctly Southern sense of nostalgia, evoking memories of family gatherings and summertime celebrations. The panel noted its creamy, custard-like base leaned more into dairy richness than true vanilla complexity, which was part of its charm. However, the inclusion of artificial ingredients and high fructose corn syrup on the label was a letdown for the team and ultimately impacted its ranking. This option is a comforting classic, but one that falls short when judged by today's ingredient 14. Edy's or Dreyer's Vanilla Ice Cream Marketed as Edy's on the East Coast and Dreyer's on the West, the brand uses two names to honor its co-founders while maintaining national recognition. The team found the ice cream delivered a smooth, middle-of-the-road experience—pleasant, but ultimately unremarkable. The flavor was soft and inoffensive, with a slightly artificial note that was tempered by its creamy texture and restrained sweetness. It's a reliable grocery store staple, but it's unlikely to satisfy those in search of a standout vanilla ice cream. 13. Great Value Homestyle Vanilla Ice Cream Walmart's Great Value vanilla stood out visually with a slightly fluorescent yellow hue, an unexpected twist on the classic vanilla look that some tasters found off-putting at first glance. The texture was firmer than most others we sampled, holding its shape well but offering a less smooth melt. Flavor-wise, it was decidedly average, lacking the richness you expect from a good ice cream. Still, the team agreed it's a solid value at just under $3 per pint, making it a practical pick for large gatherings or as a low-cost companion to pies and other desserts where ice cream plays a supporting role. 12. Blue Bunny Vanilla Bean Ice Cream The panel agreed that Blue Bunny vanilla ice cream leans more toward sweetness than sophistication, offering a mild vanilla flavor with a light, airy texture that melts quickly and cleanly. While it lacks complexity, it delivers a nostalgic, soft-serve charm that we found appealing. Priced around $3–4 per container, it clearly targets a broad, mass-market audience rather than those seeking a more flavor-forward profile. We agreed that it would work wonderfully as part of a sundae or blended into a milkshake, where both its sweetness and light texture can truly shine. 11. Trader Joe's French Vanilla Super Premium Ice Cream Inspired by the classic French vanilla style, Trader Joe's custard-based ice cream is made with egg yolks, giving it a pale yellow hue and a richer, smoother texture than some other options we tried. Though labeled 'super premium,' a term usually reserved for dense, ultra-indulgent ice creams, the team felt it didn't fully deliver on that promise. The texture was creamy but lacked the heft and luxurious texture one would expect from a "super premium" frozen treat. On a positive note, although the ingredients listed only 'natural vanilla flavor' rather than real vanilla beans or extract, the vanilla profile tasted surprisingly authentic. At just under $5 per quart, it's well-priced for the category, but the overall experience was nothing spectacular. 10. Jeni's Honey Vanilla Bean Ice Cream The tasting team praised Jeni's for its standout quality, noting a luxuriously creamy texture and a vanilla flavor that delivered both clarity and depth. True to its name, the subtle hint of honey, initially met with some skepticism by all, quickly revealed itself as a thoughtful and harmonious complement to the vanilla, enhancing the overall experience after just a few bites. Jeni's uses Fair Trade vanilla beans, grass-grazed milk and golden honey from Ohio-based producers, which all contribute to its gentle and sweet the elevated sodium content (130 mg per serving) stood out to some tasters, the overall impression remained highly positive. Priced at $8–9 per pint, it's undeniably a splurge, but we think it's worth the extra cost. Available at scoop shops, Whole Foods, Target and online, Jeni's brings frozen luxury within 9. Alec's Tahitian Vanilla Bean Ice Cream A fresh and exciting newcomer to the frozen treats market, Alec's is committed to regenerative dairy practices and sustainability. Its standout feature is the distinctive flavor of Tahitian vanilla beans, which impart a subtly fruity note. As someone who often uses Tahitian beans in my own homemade vanilla ice cream, I recognize and appreciate their signature marshmallow-like sweetness. However, some members of our tasting panel found the flavor surprising, describing it as artificial or 'fake' vanilla, due to how much it diverged from their expectations of traditional vanilla ice you want to give it a try, Alec's is available at Whole Foods, Sprouts and select Target stores. 8. Whole Foods 365 Organic Vanilla Bean Ice Cream Our tasting panel was pleasantly surprised by the well-rounded flavor of Whole Foods 365 Vanilla Ice Cream. The vanilla profile was vibrant and subtly floral, lending a touch of elegance without being overpowering. The ice cream's texture was smooth and light, and less dense than some of the richer contenders, making it an approachable, easy-to-enjoy option. With a clean ingredient list, an organic certification and a price point around $5 per pint, it strikes an impressive balance between quality and value, particularly for health-conscious shoppers. 7. Alden's Organic Vanilla Bean Ice Cream The panel praised Alden's Organic Vanilla Bean for its smooth texture and enjoyable flavor, noting that while it leans on the "safer" side of the flavor spectrum, it's still very tasty. The vanilla tasted natural and authentic, with visible bean specks adding depth and a grounded richness. At around $5 per pint, Alden's is a solid pick for consumers who are looking for an organic option with a short and simple ingredients list. 6. Tillamook Vanilla Bean Ice Cream The team had mixed reactions to Tillamook Vanilla Bean ice cream. Some appreciated its mellow, authentic flavor, while others felt it could use a bit more intensity. What united everyone, however, was praise for the brand's outstanding dairy base, which was rich, creamy, and evocative of freshly whipped cream in both flavor and texture. It offered a silky texture and a slow, even melt, finishing with a gentle sweetness that catered to fans of more dairy-forward ice creams. At around $5 per container, Tillamook remains a reliable freezer 5. Ben & Jerry's Vanilla Ice Cream Though Ben & Jerry's is a brand many of us instinctively reach for in the freezer aisle, the panel was surprised to see it rank lower than expected in our blind tasting. The flavor, while pleasant, lacked the boldness and depth of some of its competitors. Its dense dairy base skewed more heavy than there's no denying Ben & Jerry's enduring appeal. With its broad availability, approachable price point and deeply loyal fan base, it's a go-to for many. While this particular pint didn't rise to the top in terms of flavor nuance or texture, the brand continues to deliver on familiarity, fun and accessibility, all hallmarks of its long-standing success. 4. Van Leeuwen Vanilla Bean Ice Cream Van Leeuwen's Vanilla Bean wasn't on most of our team's radar going into the tasting, but it earned top marks across the board. With a dense, custard-like texture, it delivered a rich, egg-yolk-enhanced base that felt indulgent yet balanced. Flecks of real Madagascar vanilla bean added natural depth and a floral aroma that set it apart from other in Brooklyn in 2008 as an ice cream truck, Van Leeuwen has since grown into a national brand, known for its ingredient-driven philosophy and a lineup that balances timeless classics with inventive 3. Breyers Natural Vanilla Ice Cream For many, Breyers Natural Vanilla is more than just ice cream, it's a nostalgic nod to childhood birthdays and family gatherings. Its flavor is gentle and comforting, anchored by a custard-like base that leans more into dairy richness than deep vanilla complexity. The texture, which is soft and quick to melt, split the panel. Some welcomed its lightness, while others missed the rich texture found in denser options. 2. Graeter's Madagascar Vanilla Bean Ice Cream The team was in agreement: Graeter's vanilla delivers an old-world richness rarely found in modern ice cream. That depth comes from the brand's signature French pot process, a small-batch method the Cincinnati-based creamery has followed since 1870. Each batch is churned in 2.5-gallon chilled metal pots and hand-packed, incorporating minimal air for a dense, ultra-smooth the first spoonful, Graeter's impressed us with its luxuriously rich, velvety texture and slow, satisfying melt. Flecks of real Madagascar vanilla bean added aromatic and visual appeal. 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This reduces exposure to warm air each time the door opens and helps maintain a stable temperature, which minimizes the formation of ice crystals. 2. Try a shallow, airtight container Once opened, consider transferring ice cream to a shallow, airtight container. This limits exposure to air and helps preserve flavor and texture. For extra protection against freezer burn, press a piece of plastic wrap or wax paper directly onto the surface before sealing the lid. 3. Keep your freezer at 0°F or colder Ice cream is best stored at 0°F or below. Temperature fluctuations, like those caused by frequent opening or an over-packed freezer, can degrade the texture over time and promote freezer burn. Up Next: I Tried 15 Different Vanilla Ice Cream Brands and the Winner Is a Freezer Aisle Icon first appeared on Parade on Jun 28, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 28, 2025, where it first appeared. Solve the daily Crossword
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