Fury at What Coworker Does When He Discovers Female Colleague on Dating App

Newsweek

07-05-2025

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A woman working in a male-dominated field says her coworker found her on a dating app—and used that information to shame her in front of their entire workplace.
In a viral Reddit post, the woman wrote about the moment her colleague told everyone in the office she was using a dating app, after supposedly seeing her profile via his brother. Since the post was published, it has received over 22,000 upvotes. Newsweek spoke to therapist Dr. Marisa T. Cohen about the situation and how the poster can move forward in a job she wants to keep.
"I wasn't working the day he made this discovery," the woman wrote in the post. "Upon finding out I was on said dating app, he made it a point to let everyone know I was. I found it odd. Why should he or anyone else care?"
Stock photo: A woman is excluded at work.
Stock photo: A woman is excluded at work.The poster quickly realized the motive behind the announcement wasn't entirely innocent.
"I then realized it was in a …'she's desperate' fashion," she wrote. She also explained the uncomfortable social dynamics at play in her workplace: "Not only is the workplace and field in general male-dominated, but I am more than 20 years younger than the majority of my co-workers—with the exception of the guy who spread the info and a couple others."
Though the woman initially hoped the teasing would pass, it hasn't. To make matters worse, she added that the same colleague often gives her unsolicited "advice" on her appearance.
"I'm looking for advice on what I can do in this situation without turning it into an HR fiasco," the woman wrote, adding that she wants to stay at the job for another year.
Many Reddit users were quick to point out that the behavior she described already crossed a professional and legal line.
"Honestly, depending on the things they are saying to you, it could be deemed sexual harassment and should absolutely be taken to HR," one person wrote. "No one deserves to be picked on, bullied, harassed or bothered at work. Especially working in a field that heavily dominated by the other gender."
Another, who works in human resources, added: "This is absolutely sexual harassment and needs to be addressed. This is no way for a professional to be behaving in the workplace, especially from an older adult."
A Relationship Expert Weighs In
Cohen, a dating and relationship expert at Hily, agreed with the general Reddit sentiment.
"This behavior is a form of misogyny that is creating a toxic workplace environment," she told Newsweek. "It can stem from various sources, including an attempt to maintain control by asserting power over the woman through belittling and mocking her. This often reinforces existing power dynamics, especially in male-dominated work settings.
"Additionally, it reflects a broader cultural double standard, where women's private lives—especially dating lives—are more heavily judged than men's."
For the poster who might be hesitant to involve HR, Cohen offered practical advice: "If she feels safe to confront the man in question directly, she should make sure not to be in a confined space or secluded area and to document the interaction immediately after," she said. "She should also confide in her support system at work, such as any trusted colleagues and speak to her direct manager or any other leader … Document everything."
The poster shared a brief follow-up to their post after the massive response, writing: "Thank you all so much for the advice and overall validation. I'm currently at work and still mulling things over. Considering having a chat with said coworker if I see them today."
Her story has struck a chord with thousands, highlighting how women's personal lives can be weaponized in professional spaces—and prompting continual calls for accountability in the workplace.
Newsweek reached out to u/No-Bathroom8194 for comment via Reddit.