Buying a home as a couple? Key tips to make the process smooth and successful

IOL News

17 hours ago

It is key for a couple to communicate when they buy a property together.
Image: Freepik
Buying a house as a couple is as much a journey about the relationship as it is about the property.
'It's a partnership. If you work towards understanding one another, communicate openly, play to your strengths, and seek expert advice, you're not just buying a house – you're building a stronger foundation for the rest of your lives together,' says René Roux, general manager for Client and Intermediary Engagement at Sanlam.
Roux and her husband recently went house-hunting.
She said buying a house is one of the most expensive investments one will ever make, so being on the same page as their partner (or co-investor) is very important.
'We found navigating the process challenging, yet we have the same money personality! Those couples who have different personalities will definitely come up against some challenges.'
Roux says this is particularly relevant for the growing number of young South Africans entering the property market.
She said Lightstone data from last year revealed that just over 70% of first-time property buyers are under 35, which means that many couples are facing these complex financial conversations early in their lives together.
Roux offers guidance to help different money personalities navigate the journey to find their dream home.
Sanlam has identified seven distinct money personalities that define these financial behaviours. These range from the risk-averse prepared protector, who prioritises saving and security, to the goal-driven high-stakes achiever, who thrives on calculated risks for high returns.
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Roux says understanding one's respective money personalities is about self-awareness. She said it helps one understand why they disagree, which can turn a potential argument into a productive conversation.
She said, sharing her own experience, revealed that both she and her husband of 35 years are prepared protectors.
'I wasn't surprised by my result, as I'm an absolute planner. However, I was surprised to find that we were the same because, day-to-day, we can have very different approaches. This shows that even within the same personality type, there are nuances.'
The GM said couples should consider these common clashes when house-hunting: A high-stakes achiever might see a property as an investment to be flipped for a quick profit. Their partner, a prepared protector, may be eyeing a stable, long-term family home, which can cause a fundamental clash in vision.
A spontaneous buyer, who is often emotion-driven, might fall in love with a home that's over budget and want to sign immediately. Their partner, a calculated planner, may be prone to 'analysis paralysis', wanting to analyse every possible risk and alternative, leading to frustration and missed opportunities.
A relaxed planner prioritises experiences and may want to budget for immediate renovations to enjoy the home now. In contrast, a generous guardian might feel that money should be saved in case a family member needs help, putting personal homemaking goals on the back burner.
Roux encourages couples to have open and honest conversations about their finances and expectations to avoid misunderstandings.
'I'm a spreadsheet queen,' she admits. 'Everything needs to be on a spreadsheet – the purchase price, transfer fees, attorney costs, potential renovations, the cost of the move itself and new appliances or furniture which might be necessary.
"And if you are selling your current home as well, additional costs, like agent commission, various certificates of compliance, and even capital gains tax, must be factored in. If you don't talk about these things and create a realistic budget, you're setting yourself up for financial strain.'
She added that this planning phase is also about aligning on a shared future. Roux encourages couples to discuss their long-term vision for the property.
'You must always keep the bigger picture in mind. I had a list of non-negotiables for our home because it's ultimately where we want to retire one day. And my husband had his own list. We had to communicate constantly, and compromise if needed, to ensure we were both happy and that our individual needs contributed to our collective goal.'
The GM said once they understand each other's money personalities, they can divide responsibilities in a way that leverages their natural strengths, making the process more efficient and less stressful.
Roux explains that knowing their personalities helped them spread the load. 'Because I'm the meticulous planner, I took care of the budgets, communicating with the attorneys and ensuring the long-term finances were in order.
"My husband is more flexible and is very good at handling day-to-day logistics, like arranging the builders and the moving company. It just helped to know exactly what each person had to do and where our respective strengths lie. It made the process so much easier and more enjoyable.'
She said that while a couple's teamwork is essential, an objective professional financial adviser can provide the clarity and foresight needed to make the best long-term decisions. 'We've had the same planner for nearly 25 years.
"She has walked with us through our lives and was our first call when we decided to buy this house. She understood our entire financial portfolio and helped us structure the purchase in the best way possible, ensuring we didn't compromise our retirement goals.'
According to the latest census by Stats SA, approximately 4.7 million South Africans now live with an unmarried partner or in a cohabiting arrangement, indicating just how mainstream shared living has become.
In a co-living situation, a residential space is shared by multiple (often unrelated) people, typically with private bedrooms and shared common areas. The concept has taken off in South Africa's high-cost urban areas, said Grant Smee, CEO of Only Realty Property Group, last month.
To mitigate potential issues, Smee advised that all housemates draft a written agreement covering essential topics: Expense breakdowns such as rent, utilities or Wi-Fi.
House rules around communal living, such as guests and quiet hours.
Cleaning schedules, chores and shared responsibilities.
Exit terms in case one party wants to leave.
'All agreements, payments and relevant communications should be documented and stored,' noted Smee. 'This can be vital if legal disputes arise. Having upfront clarity will help reduce disputes and ensure all parties are on the same page.'
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